No more games: Losing and Winning with Weight Watchers

Being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers is a huge achievement. One you reach this milestone you only have to weigh in once a month, and as long as you stay with your two pound window (2lbs above or below your goal weight), you don't have the pay the fee.

For about the past four months, I've been playing a little game with myself. I weigh in at home a few days before my scheduled weigh in day, and then if the scale is a bit on the high side I delay the weigh in to the following week. It's a game I've been "winning," until now.

And winning is of course a poor choice of words, as this is not the behaviour I spent a year learning and living. If I was making the right choices every day, then it wouldn't even be an issue.

You also have to pay the fee if you miss a month's weigh in, so being the last weekend in August I HAD to weigh in. (You also get a star sticker for every month you weigh in and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get my star!)

I was 0.8lbs outside my "window," which means I'm actually 2.8lbs above my goal weight. Last month I was lower than goal, so this month I faced a 3.5lb gain. OUCH.

No more games, no more playing the system. I'm going to track, and I'm going to be MINDFUL. I've kind of been kidding myself the last few months, and while I haven't entirely gone off the rails, I certainly haven't been as mindful of what I've been eating. Conscious yes, mindful no.

Three key actions that have likely led me here:

1. Not bringing my lunch enough at work, so I simply HAVE to go have sushi.
2. Finishing off what the kids leave on their plates - never a lot, but every little bit counts. I never did this while I was losing weight.
   
   And...
   
   
3. Fruit. As some of you will know, I am NOT following the PointsPlus system, so fruit is NOT zero points. But there have been so many lovely blueberries, cherries, peaches, strawberries, nectarines...the list goes on and I LOVE fruit.

So. No more games. And even though I won't be playing, I'll still be winning. But not Charlie Sheen winning.

September weigh in, here I come.

Me, Only Better.

I think the reason Weight Watchers has worked this time is because I finally realized that it is NOT a diet, it truly is a lifestyle change. I always understood that in theory, and this time something clicked in my brain and I finally get it.

What I didn't expect was the change in my lifestyle. Does that sound like a contradiction? Yes, I have made Weight Watchers my lifestyle. Yes, my way of eating has changed forever. Yes, exercise is now a permanent and enjoyable part of my life.

But by changing my lifestyle, my style of life has changed. Let me explain before you stare at your screen with a big "Duh."

When I'm talking to people about my weight loss, they nearly always say something to the effect of "You must feel amazing" or ask "How do you feel?" I usually answer these questions with exclamations about how good I feel, how I have more energy, how I can play with my kids more... easy, fairly predictable answers.

I only truly realized this week just how different my lifestyle and way of thinking were. When we renovated our house and moved in two years ago, we had pre-painted siding installed. The boards just had one coat, basically a primer, and the siders sealed all the seams with a putty that irritatingly stood out like a sore thumb. We knew when it was installed that we would have to paint the house within a couple of years, but it was a much cheaper option at the time.

Two years ago if you had told me "We have to paint the house," it invariably would have ended up with Mr. Awesome out there every day slaving away and me offering very little participation. I would likely have done a little bit and then made an excuse for why I needed to go inside, sit down, etc. I simply didn't have the energy. I wouldn't have had the staying power to paint window trim, let alone a whole wall. It was partly the lack of energy and partly sheer laziness brought on by the lack of energy. I was stuck in laziness loop!

We've just completed four full days of house painting, and when I say we I mean WE. Okay, Mr. Awesome stands at 6'5" so he has done a little more than me because he can reach the high parts easier, but I have definitely held my own on the workload. I've only stopped to make meals or relieve the babysitter, but otherwise I've been out there, roller or brush in hand. I've hardly sat down (unless I was painting the bottom of the wall) and I haven't even been that sore afterwards! I've painted a HOUSE! I can look at our house with pride and know that I actually actively contributed to how it looks, not just sitting and picking out colour swatches.

When I realized how different my energy and attitude were compared to a couple of years ago, I was shocked. It made me look at other instances where my outlook is different, my decisions have changed, etc.

I no longer park as close as humanly possible to my destination to save the walk from the car. I take stairs with ease, and quite often instead of an elevator. I spend a LOT less time sitting on the couch. When out for a walk, I never used to be able to keep up with Mr. Awesome (give me a break, he's 6'5" for Pete's sake) but now it's not even an issue. We are going to San Francisco next month and we're planning on renting bicycles and riding across the Golden Gate Bridge. And I'm EXCITED about it, not dreading it!

I'm the same person I was before, but better. I'm not afraid of trying new things. I don't say no to new opportunities or activities because I'm worried I won't have the energy, or that I'll be too big, too heavy, too slow.

Who knew that by making a lifestyle change, I would give myself a whole new life.

Does Your Fitness Take a Vacation?

When you go on vacation or a business trip, do you try to keep up with your weight loss and/or fitness? We were recently away for a weekend with friends and I was adhering to my points tracking. I went over on one day (lasagna, yum!) and one of my friends said "Oh well, you're on vacation."

Does that matter? Sure, one day is not going to make or break anything, but it's a slippery slope. If I'm on a 10-day cruise and subscribe to the "on vacation" philosophy, I'll quickly put back at least 10 of the 50lbs I've lost so far. As I've mentioned in many a post before, I am lazy. I already LOST that 10lbs and I don't want to have to do it again!

We've been away a few times since I started this journey and each time I've put some pretty significant thought into the planning where food and exercise were concerned. Significant, but worth it every time. It's really not that hard once you know what to think about, what to look for, etc.

Below are some things I have done and/or will be doing in our upcoming trip planning. Let me just say, I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer, guilting you into working out on your vacation or denying yourself some holiday treats. I just know that for ME, I can't indulge in a big way without paying the price on the scale and that's something I'm not prepared to deal with. Enjoy your vacation time, enjoy your family and friends, and do what is right for YOU.

Staying with friends:

• If you belong to a gym at home, do they have a reciprocal program with any gyms where you will be staying?
  
• Ask your friends about local community centres that have gyms, pools, etc.
• Is there a good, safe area for walking?
• If you're driving, take along a set of 5lb weights. Do not attempt this if you're flying, as these days you need all the baggage allowance you can get. Not to mention they might consider it a weapon...
  
• Ask your friends to talk you through the food plans for the time you'll be there - whether they're cooking or you'll be eating out, it's way better to be able to plan ahead and track/eat accordingly.
• If your friends aren't typically low-fat eaters, ask if it's okay to bring some snacking veggies, low-fat salad dressing, etc with you.
  
• Take a favourite workout DVD with you. Steal an hour in their TV room or alone with your laptop (get your mind out of the gutter) to get in your workout.
  

I know it's a stumbling block sometimes, but I find it makes things easier if you're open about your process and goals. If your friends understand what you're going through and working towards, they will (I hope) be happy to help you however they can. I know it can be a challenge to find the balance between being a courteous houseguest and asking for a few selfish concessions to help you stay on track, but you can do it. Our friends made the MOST delicious sausage pie while we were staying with them. She took me through the recipe and the whole pie was over 100 Weight Watchers points. Yowza! I has 1/12 of the pie and a LOT of salad (with my dressing), it was awesome, and I didn't feel I'd missed out.

Staying at a condo or timeshare:

• Make your own meals as much as possible. You'll be in control and you'll save money!
  
• Does the property have a gym or a pool?
  
• Is there a DVD player? I take my copy of the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout along just in case. It's only 40 mins including warm up and cool down, so it doesn't eat into your vacation time too much.
• Check out the list above, as a lot of those ideas will apply no matter where you're staying.
  

Staying at a hotel:

• Almost all hotels now have a gym of some sort. A good portion of my current workout can be done without machines, so I can make a routine out of even the most basic equipment. Even if the workout is short and not as intense as I would do at home, I still feel better for have done SOMETHING.
  
• If your hotel doesn't have a gym, ask at the front desk if they have any arrangements with nearby hotels or fitness centres to allow guests to use the facilities there.
• If your room has a mini fridge that isn't stocked with over-priced snacks that you get charged for the minute they're moved, consider getting some on-plan breakfast food to eat in your room. Breakfast is one of the most challenging meals at restaurants, as the toast will invariably arrive slathered with butter and God forbid you send that delicious piece of heaven back!

No matter where you're staying, you can also look for active tourist activities. Mr. Awesome and I are planning a kid-free escape (Hell YEAH!) to Napa and San Francisco in a couple of months. One of the activities we already know we want to do is to rent bikes and ride across the Golden Gate Bridge into Sausalito.

Are you kidding me?! Six months ago you could barely have paid me enough to even consider this type of activity, but life looks a lot different on this side of that 50lbs. This is why I make an effort to keep on track, even if we're on vacation. I have made a lifestyle change. I'm not on a temporary program that I will finally be "done" with when I reach my goal. This is for life.

Not to mention, all that bike riding will make up for all the wine I intend to drink in Napa. After all, I'm on vacation, right? :)

The Debfit Method - A Book Review

I was recently given the opportunity to review a new fitness and weight loss book, The Debfit Method© Weight Loss Secrets by Deb Leblanc. Given my new found love of fitness and my weight loss success, I was curious to see what it was all about.

Leblanc is a Canadian author, and 20 year expert in the fitness and weight loss fields. There is a history of obesity in her family and she herself has struggled with weight issues over the years. Knowing that she's been through the journey and can identify with the challenges her readers may be facing makes the book really accessible. That and her frank, easy writing style make it feel more like you're getting advice from a friend that knows her stuff, as opposed to some distant doctor or muscle head that doesn't understand what you're going through.

A big component of The Debfit Method© is the 3-Day Cleanse, but given the fact that I'm still breastfeeding I wasn't able to try it. The cool thing about this particular cleanse is that it doesn't have you popping 40 capsules of supplements a day. In fact, it is basically supplement free. The one thing she does recommend is acidopholus, and has included acidopholus capsules in the cleanse "menu."

Leblanc does stipulate that the 3-Day Cleanse will work best if you can lock yourself away for the whole time, running all your errands, doing all your cleaning, etc before you start. Perhaps one day Mr. Awesome will take the kids away for a weekend and I will actually be able to try it. For now, and until the little man stops interrupting my bathroom visits, I'll have to wait to give it a try. I did read through the recipes and the plan, and not only does it look easy enough foodwise, but she also includes lots of time for naps! THAT is definitely enticing, so I may need to look at shipping off the family sooner than later...

A large portion of the book is 26 Trainer Tips, with everything from a "dry brushing" cellulite fix to strategies for managing cravings. They are all common sense concepts, some you will have heard before and some that might be new information, but put together it's a great list of tips aimed at making your fitness journey better and your body and mind healthier.

One of the things I like best about this book is her direct approach. She doesn't beat around the bush and basically tells her readers that it is going to be hard work. There is no magic pill, no quick fix to losing weight and getting fit. If you only answer "I think so" to the question of whether or not you're dedicated to losing weight, Leblanc goes so far as to suggest putting the book away for a while until you're ready to fully commit. I like this style, because as you know from my post about excuses, I'm tired of people complaining and making excuses for why they can't get fit. If you're going to do it, DO IT! There is no time like the present!

To learn more about Deb Leblanc, you can visit her website at www.debfit.com. You can order a copy of The Debfit Method© Weight Loss Secrets on Amazon.

What's The Point?

When you're breastfeeding while on Weight Watchers you get extra points - 10 if you're breastfeeding exclusively, and 5 if you are supplementing with formula or feeding your baby solids. When I first started I was allowed FORTY POINTS. I could hardly even eat as many points as I had at my disposal! I never touched my weekly flex points or counted activity points, I just didn't need to. I wasn't sure if breastfeeding would work this time around, but now I had yet another reason to be grateful it did. As my weight went down I had to adjust my points, but it was slow and easy to get used to because I had started with so many.

Every week the weight dropped off. Every single week the ladies would exclaim at my success as I plowed through the gold stars and coveted keychain charms. As of last week I was 1.4lbs away from having lost 50lbs. Given my weekly losses I figured it would be a walk in the park to hit that target this week. Everything should have been fine. Never get cocky.

For the first time since I started Weight Watchers, I gained this week. A measly, minimal 0.2lbs, but it was in the wrong direction. And I knew it was coming. I worked out and stayed within my points, but given my addiction to the scale, I was well aware that things were not looking good.

The little miss finally started solids a few weeks ago, and just this week she really started getting it. She's trying everything and getting hungrier at every meal. I knew that I would have to reduce my allowance by five points soon, but I was waiting until she was eating solids regularly before making the shift. And then waiting some more.

It wasn't going to be easy. Given the enormous points allowance I started with, I was used to snacking to use up points. I have a wide variety of 2-point snacks in my cabinets and Skinny Cow treats in my freezer. I have a mid-morning snack, an afternoon snack, and (at least) one after dinner treat. It's kind of ridiculous how much I could eat each day.

The time has come. She's feeding less and I've been eating the same amount, and the scale is showing the result. One of us is going to have to change something. Short of shoving my breast into her face and forcefeeding her, it looks like I'm the one that's going to have to give.

Dammit.

After the weigh-in this morning, I made the painful decision to make today the day. I went from 35 glorious, ice cream filled points down to 30. It probably wasn't the smartest day to do it, given that we had sushi for lunch with a friend in from out of town, and Friday night is always pizza night (1/4 of a Dr. Oetker "Vegetale" pizza is only 4 pts!). I allowed myself one 1-point snack this afternoon and a Skinny Cow for dessert.

It is now just after 11:00pm and I AM HUNGRY. And I am out of points for the day.

It's like I'm starting Weight Watchers all over again and need to relearn how to manage each day's food. Just when I thought I had it figured out.

I am NOT looking forward to when the little miss is weaned and I have to give up ANOTHER five points. What the hell am I supposed to eat then?!

I may have to keep breastfeeding until she moves out. Anything to keep my Skinny Cow.

A Distorted Reality

I am so confused. I have no idea what I look like.

The weight loss process, although quick in the grand scheme of things, has actually been fairly gradual. I've been "in" this body the whole time, and although I feel stronger and healthier, I don't feel that different. Because I basically banned any photographs over the last three years, I don't have a picture (in my head or otherwise) of what I looked like before, so I sometimes forget just how far I've come.

I try on clothes that I wore before I started this process and it's obvious that I'm smaller. Hell, I try on clothes I wore a month ago and they're too big. I know that I look different. Judging by the reactions of people that haven't seen me in a while, I look a lot different. The compliments are awesome, but sometimes it's almost as if I don't believe them. It's like the fat kid inside me argues and tells me not to listen to them.

I think it's going to take some time before I'm comfortable in my new, smaller skin. I spent almost 20 years at the "obese" end of the spectrum and there are a lot of feelings that come with that. I still default to the feelings I've lived with for years, even though I'm wearing a size I haven't worn for years.

When someone has changed so drastically on the outside, shouldn't something on the inside change too? Not to say I'm not still me, but when does the fat kid shut up so I can enjoy being the hot mama?

Well, Excuuuuuse Me!

I used to be the Queen of Excuses. I always had reasonable explanations for why I didn't work out, why I didn't lose weight that week, why it was okay to quit Weight Watchers... I could explain away anything. I was really very good at it. Maybe that's why I ended up in marketing. I could "spin" anything.

In early 2002 I started dating Mr. Awesome. I had been on WW for a few months and had lost about 25lbs. Immersed in the honeymoon phase of my new relationship I began to forgo workouts, neglect my points tracking, etc. Who could blame me? I was newly in love! I would have WAY rather spent time with my man than (God forbid) leave him for an hour to go to the gym. That was the beginning of the end of my fitness regime.

In June of that year my dad passed away. I was understandably devastated, had to take a leave from work, and the last thing I cared about was taking care of myself. Slowly but surely, Weight Watchers and the gym became things of the past.

Thinking back to who and how I was back then, I hadn't truly made a lifestyle change - I was just on a diet and exercise program. The necessary mind shift hadn't happened so I was likely doomed to fail at some point. I'm not saying I would have powered through my grief with workouts, but I may have gotten back on the proverbial horse after a few months.

Fast forward to 2008. I started thinking about getting in shape and FINALLY getting rid of (most of) the excess weight when the little man was just over one, but I knew we were planning on having a second baby in the next couple of years and I just couldn't fathom working that hard to lose the weight and then gaining back anywhere from 20-50lbs. I knew then that when I finally made the decision to change my habits, it was going to be for good. If I didn't get there for another couple of years, so be it. When I DID do it, there would be NO EXCUSES!

The little miss was born in late October 2009. I'd only gained 16lbs during this pregnancy (no idea how or why, but that's all I gained) and then pushed out a 9lb 6oz bundle of love, so by the time she was three weeks old I was already lower than my pre-pregnancy weight. It was time. Two years is a long time to plan to do anything, so I was pretty psyched to get going.

Before beginning, I had to acknowledge a pretty undeniable fact: I am lazy. If this was going to work, I had to have reasonable expectations and not make anything too difficult to achieve. If it got too hard I was likely to let the excuses creep back in and be back where I started.

So here I am, 20 weeks in and 42.6lbs down so far. Suffice to say, it's working and there have been very few excuses. I am nowhere even close to perfect at this. I've missed a few workouts and eaten over my points allowance quite a few times, but I've made up for any slips within a few days.

When my dad quit smoking after 50 years, he smelled smoke everywhere. We'd get into elevators and he'd know that there had been a smoker in there minutes before. It was like his nose was now fine-tuned to smell smoke. I feel kind of the same about excuses. Not only did I not notice (or let's be honest, admit) when I was making excuses before, but I didn't usually notice when other people were making them too. Actually, I kind of welcomed other people's excuses, because I could then either use their excuses for why I couldn't do something, or use them as the excuse. Jen can't go to the gym? Well shoot, then I can't go either.

I was sitting in my WW meeting a couple of weeks ago and the leader was trying to get a discussion going about ways to find time to exercise. I could not believe the excuses I was hearing. Yes, absolutely, life does happen and get in the way. I get that. But these people were complaining about how hard it was to find time to exercise, or to resist temptation, basically victimizing themselves and defending their choices with excuses. It's like they wanted the leader to tell them "It's okay, it's not your fault you gained this week. You didn't bring those brownies into your work lunchroom."

If you really and truly want to get healthy, you WILL find a way to make it happen. You will find at least a little time each week to be active. You will resist the treats in the lunchroom, or if you do indulge, you will track it! Yes, it might take a long time to get there, but you will do it. It's about planning ahead and thinking things through. At my work, I KNOW that come Christmas time there will be trays and trays of goodies in the lunchroom. But it is MY decision whether or not I eat something.

Don't get me wrong. I am tempted every single day and I do indulge. I do miss the occasional work out. But I accept responsibility for that. I don't make excuses because I have to OWN my behaviour. It will be my own doing if I don't succeed. No one is going to lose weight for me. If they did, then they would look fantastic and I would still be 230lbs.

Excuse me? I don't think so. I'm the one who is going to look fantastic, thank you very much!

The Magic Number

When I started Weight Watchers last December I thought about what I would set as my goal. I thought back to eight years ago, the last time I was in WW. I thought about the weight I reached before I fell off the wagon. I thought about why I fell off the wagon (more on that in a separate post to come), and I thought about how I felt physically at the weight I reached before I fell.

I had lost 25lbs and I felt great. Back then I was about 170lbs at my fittest, maybe a bit lower but I can't remember for sure. For my height, the top of the BMI range is 164lbs but the thing is, I'm lazy. I don't want to have to work out every day of my life and deny myself the occasional small treat to maintain my weight. I am confident that this lifestyle change is for well, LIFE. Something has clicked in my brain and I know I can live like this forever, but not if I have to work like a maniac to make it happen. I'll be happy working out three times a week, and I want to make sure I set a reasonable goal that I will be able to maintain.

I've been sitting here for about 30 minutes writing and rewriting this paragraph, trying to decide whether or not to actually put my weight in print, but what the hell. Like my "fat clothes," that's a place I don't ever intend to go back to so what does it matter? A goal of 170lbs represents a 53lb weight loss. For those not good at math, I started WW on December 18, 2009 at 223lbs.

I currently weigh 182lbs - that's 41lbs lost so far. 12lbs to go to my goal. Thanks to my workouts, points tracking and the wonders of breastfeeding, I am losing weight pretty steadily. I gave myself until the end of August to reach it, leaving a month and a half to practice maintaining before I return to work in October. Given that timeline 12lbs does not seem daunting, which has me wondering if I should go for the brass ring - 18lbs to actually be within the BMI range for "normal." I've broken out of the "obese" range, and am now smack dab in the middle of "overweight." Could I actually one day reach what some Belgian mathematician in the 1800's considered "normal?" Does it matter?

I guess the answer is that it really doesn't matter. If I feel good at 170lbs, great. I even have a doctor's note stating that 170 is a reasonable goal in case I get an argument from my WW leader. If I feel I can go further, I will. Either way, it will be what's right for me.

How do you set the "right" weight loss goal for you? What's your magic number?

Addicted to the Scale

I admit it. I have a problem. Well, I have many, but this one has just shown its ugly head to me while we've been on vacation. I am addicted to the scale. Not in a do-anything-I-can-to-lose-weight way, but I do weigh myself an inordinate amount. I wake up, I weigh myself. I feed our daughter, I weigh myself. I pee (yes, I went there- did you expect anything less from me?), I weigh myself.

Don't get me wrong. This is not an all out mission to watch the scale creep ever lower with each check. I eat like a normal person. Since I'm still breastfeeding, I actually eat MORE than the normal Weight Watchers member. I just find in fascinating to see the effects of each meal, sleep, feed, etc. I don't get freaked out if it's higher than my last WW weigh-in, because I am a card-carrying believer in the system. If you track your points and stay within the limits, work out at least 3 times a week and then pray like hell to whichever god/idol/Elvis statue you choose, you will lose weight. I have been steadily losing weight since I started, so why would a little spike on the scale freak me out?

It does do one thing for me. It helps me to go to my weigh-in/meeting confident in the outcome, give or take a few ounces. Here's the thing. I have been on vacation now for nine days, and it's been ten days since my last weigh-in. I'm using one of my "free week" coupons as we were away for last week's weigh-in, but I have a weigh-in coming up 28 hours after we get home and I have NO IDEA what the scale will say. I haven't been able to weigh myself for over a week. I am petrified!

I have been pretty damned good this vacation, staying within my points limits almost every day and I've been to the gym three times plus walking everywhere. (Don't boo and hiss me just yet - tonight I enjoyed three glasses of wine and a piece of cheesecake. Four points over and worth every one.)

I'm sure it's not COMPLETELY healthy to weigh oneself that much, and I know "it's not about the number it's about how you feel," bladdy bladdy blah. I really do just get a kick out of analyzing the effects of a day well lived. Let's call it scientific research. Or being a complete and utter control freak.

It definitely does remind me to stay on track, and this is where I am a little worried. I set myself a goal before we left. I'm currently at 36.6lbs lost and as I'm missing one week's weigh-in, I believe it's possible that I could indeed reach the big 4-0 at my next weigh-in. 3.4lbs over two weeks is completely doable, right? Right?

Oh well, if I'm not there this week I'll get there next week. I'm not worried. And I will NOT use my other "free week" coupon to avoid a bad weigh-in.

After all, it's not about the number, etc etc ... although Weight Watchers doesn't hand out "I fit into my wedding dress again" charms for your little keychain. Maybe they should.

Wardrobe Detox

Since starting mat leave in October, I have had no reason whatsoever to put on my work clothes. A few weeks ago I was having a sluggish day and not feeling great about myself. I had a few minutes of kid-free time, so I decided to try some things on that I hadn't worn in a while, assuming it would make me feel better if they now were too big.

The first few pieces were surprisingly roomy, and I immediately felt better. In fact, almost everything was too big, but in varying degrees. This led me to try on some of the clothes I'd been saving from my slightly thinner days. Some fit, some not quite yet.

What began was a very strange reflection on the last few years, as I clearly remember when I got these items, when I wore them with certain outfits and how I felt about myself in them. It made me think.

You can be happy with yourself at any size, and that's great if you truly are happy with yourself. The thing is, I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt. I used to use new clothes to feel better about myself. Finding a new shirt/sweater/pair of pants at Lane Bryant or Addition-Elle that made me feel slightly slimmer made my day. It was all in the cut and hang of the garment, but I was temporarily believed I was slimmer. This made me happy.

I love my husband (who has requested that from now on I refer to him in this blog as Mr. Awesome), we have two healthy, happy kids and I love my job. Life is great, but until recently I wasn't truly happy with ME. No magic shirt could give me the self image I needed, no matter HOW many times I went shopping!

I'm happier now with myself than I ever have been, but it's not because I look better than I have for a while. I think it's because I am taking action to feel better.

Yes, in September, when I go on that enormous shopping spree (yahoo!) in preparation to return to work, I will feel better about myself in the clothes I buy. But not because I have discovered a magic pair of pants that make you look slimmer than you actually are. I will feel good about the person inside the clothes. In fact, I already do.

My Current Workout Mix

This is the mix, with occasional tweaking, that I am currently using to work out. It's what keeps me going when I have to push the treadmill to incline 10, or that irritating perfectly proportioned gym addict walks by to flirt with yet another beefcake (I SWEAR, she is there EVERY time I go, no matter how I switch up my schedule. Maybe she's stalking me...).

It's an eclectic mix, but it works for me. Black Eyed Peas and David Guetta are my two current favourites.

Gonna Make You Sweat - C and C Music Factory
I Like To Move It - Reel 2 Real
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
When Love Takes Over (Radio Edit) - David Guetta f. Kelly Rowland
Red Alert (Jaxx Radio Mix) - Basement Jaxx
Get the Party Started - Pink
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
Can't Get You Out Of My Head - Kylie Minogue
Call On Me (Radio Edit) - Eric Prydz
Push It - Salt N Pepa
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
The Longest Road feat. Lissie - Morgan Page

Am I the victim of a cruel joke?

As I've said before, I have never been athletic. I've wimped out of almost every remotely athletic activity that has ever come across my path. So what, pray tell, am I doing working out (in some capacity) almost every day?? Either the post-pregnancy hormones have done a number on my brain without my knowledge, or I must have fallen victim to a trick somewhere along the way. Must investigate who is to blame...

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tricks if they help get the job done. If I fancy a snack, I have my cupboard stocked with a variety of 2 point/Weight Watcher legal snacks - Thinsations Chocolate Covered Pretzels (my new fave), microwave popcorn, Cadbury Thins, Fibre One bars...yes, and sometimes even a banana. I've made myself a motivational journal with clippings from magazines saying things like "Get Healthy" or "Lose Your Belly" that I can look at if I'm feeling particularly sluggish.

One of my "tricks" is watching Biggest Loser every Tuesday night. I find it motivating and inspiring, and my best workouts are always Wednesday mornings. I picture Bob yelling at the contestants for touching the handles on the treadmill and I work that much harder. With the Olympics preempting new episodes for the past 2 weeks, I've even watched old episodes online to keep myself going! You'd think as a marketing professional I would be immune to marketing campaigns and tactics, but I'm the biggest sucker of them all. I now own 3, count them, THREE Biggest Loser workout DVDs, and the Biggest Loser Workout Program book. I'm a booklet-carrying member of Weight Watchers and I own 2 different Weight Watchers cookbooks. (All of these purchases could also be blamed, incidentally, on my other weakness - Costco.)

A few weeks ago, a weird thing began to happen. I actually started to like working out. I now get upset if I can't fit in a workout for a couple of days, and that is SO NOT ME. My iPod Shuffle was dead when I got to the gym this morning. God forbid I should workout without my specially crafted workout mix. The old me would have given up, maybe done a few weights and come home to total inactivity. Instead I came home, holed myself up in the bedroom away from the prying eyes of my husband and 2yr old, and did the Last Chance Workout DVD from The Biggest Loser. Thank you, Jillian Michaels!

I have never been a good cook and because I cooked so infrequently, my culinary confidence was in the garbage disposal. Needing to know the points values for all my meals meant I needed to take control of the cooking in our house. I now cook 6 out of 7 meals each week and, get this, I actually enjoy it. My cookbook purchases have resulted in me becoming used to a new healthier way of cooking, and it's actually made me a better cook.

Looks like the joke's on me. With all the tricks I've employed for getting myself to the gym and to eat according to the Weight Watchers program, I've actually become a healthier, happier person. Who would ever have thought that??

Mystery solved. I'm the one to blame and I couldn't be happier.

22lbs down, 28 to go.

Our second child, our daughter, was born on October 23, 2009. I have always been overweight but just couldn't commit to losing the 50lbs needed until after the pregnancies were done. I couldn't bear the thought of putting in all the work, only to gain back 30lbs while expecting. By the time she was 3 weeks old, I was itching to get started.

I'm on mat leave until October 2010 and I intend to reach my goal weight before I return to work. The plan is actually to reach goal by August, so I have 2 months of maintenance and figuring out new routines before I go back. I'm a creature of routine, and I need to know when I'm going to work out, what I'm going to do, what I'm going to eat, etc. Before I'm back at work 35 hrs a week and tempted by all the fast food outlets and goodies in the office kitchen, I'd better have been living this new way for a while!

I started Weight Watchers on December 18, 2009. So far I have lost 22lbs, and I'm feeling good about the lifestyle changes. There is no way in hell I would ever succeed at a program that imposed strict limitations that weren't realistic for the long term. WW makes sense to me, I've done it before, and now I'm finally in a place to make it last.

22lbs down, 28 to go!