The title of this post has been rattling around my brain for a few weeks now but I hesitated writing it because I didn't want to admit - I'm not the mom I want to be.
The mom I want to be doesn't get frustrated so easily.
The mom I want to be has more patience.
The mom I want to be doesn't yell.
The mom I want to be accepts that "he's just three" is a reasonable explanation.
The mom I want to be has time to clean the house.
The mom I want to be knows how to get the stove top as clean as her mother in law does.
The mom I want to be doesn't swear under her breath at other drivers.
The mom I want to be has boobs that sit somewhere above the bottom of her rib cage.
I can control almost all of these, and with the right bra I could probably control all of them. The right bra can fix a lot of things.
But seriously, I yell more than I want to. Sometimes volume is a tactic to break through the three year old fog that envelops the little man when he's doing something he shouldn't and WILL. NOT. STOP. But sometimes volume is a result of exhaustion, frustration and emotion.
The lesson of the day is impulse control. I'm trying to get the little man to stop and think before he pushes/kicks/hits his baby sister, taking the time to pause before he does what he's invariably about to do. And I am doing my darndest to do the same thing before I raise my voice.
I'm not SO far from the mom I want to be. I'm by no means a lost cause. I think I'm a pretty good mom when it comes down to it, I just want to work on the patience thing. Maybe I will count to three for myself as well as for him. Sometimes Mummy needs a time out.
And a new bra.
Then maybe I will be the mom I want to be.
Well, I know you're not alone... and if nothing else it's just you and me, but maybe that brings you some comfort lol. It's hard to be patient all the time. I'm pretty sure I have a shorter fuse than most :(
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure we'll ever be the moms we want to be. Just when we think we've got it all dialed, something will happen to throw us into a tailspin... it's just parenting. You may not be the mom you want to be, but yes, you are an awesome mom... as evidenced by your awesome kids :)
I'm also not the mom I want to be. In fact I woke up this morning vowing not to yell today and I've already broken my vow. :( Sucks.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I am here to tell you that you need to be kinder to yourself!
ReplyDeleteMoxie (askmoxie.org) occasionally does an e-mail course called "Release the Yelling." It's designed to help you figure out when and why you yell at your kids and help you get out of that pattern. I don't know if she's planning on running it soon, but maybe you can watch her site and see. Or maybe even e-mail her and ask her to send you the e-mails.
ReplyDeleteI have also thought every single one of those thoughts. It is also hard when I already have this big booming voice normally. I try not to get down on myself, because I am trying and some days I am successful. I think the biggest thing is that I am aware that I do it and that I really don't want to do it. Sometimes it's necessary, like when my 3 year old takes off in the parking lot of Ikea. *HUGS*
ReplyDelete