My little man turns 3 in a couple of weeks. He entered the "twos" late, and the last few months have been trying, to say the least. The whining is only outdone by the crying that ensues when he doesn't get what he wants. Some days he has been an absolute monster, surviving by the skin of his teeth by showing me a few minutes of loveliness in an otherwise horrible day.
As I'm on mat leave right now, he and I have been together almost all day, every day. This, although counter-intuitive, has led to his being VERY clingy. "Mummymummymummymummymummy" is a common whine in our house, as I've written about before.
I'm being slowly worn down. The whining grates on my last nerve every day and I think my teeth will be smooth nubs from gritting them by the time we're out of this phase. I was explaining my frustration to Mr. Awesome a few days ago and he said "Remember, one day he'll go through a phase where he doesn't want you around AT ALL. Just try and keep that in mind."
One day my little boy will be a pre-man, filled with teen angst, hormones and attitude. I like to live in a dream world and tell myself he and I will have the ideal mother-son relationship where he can talk to me about anything (within reason). I know that this will likely not be the case, at least for some of those years. I hate this knowledge. The thought of it makes me cry.
And that is why I take a deep breath and tell him one more time WHY it's not okay to slap mummy, or climb the bookshelf, or eat Shreddies for dinner, or climb into the warming drawer. And that is why when he's clinging to me and screaming for me so loud that I can't hear the timer go off to say dinner is ready, I tell him that I love him and that it's okay.
Because one day I will long for that level of need and one day it won't be there.
Yes, the thought of a 20 year old man clinging to his mother is more than a little disturbing. But for now, I just want my little cling-on.
(Remind me of this when he's screaming at 6am tomorrow morning.)