The First 100 Days of School Suck.

I don't know if it's just our particular class, or the fact that BC schools have moved to all-day Kindergarten, or that our little man is a bit younger socially than kids his age, but his first 100 days of school have pretty much bit the big one. This is part of the reason that I didn't blog for so long - you might notice the "hiatus" began after September 1st.

I have never felt more like a mom than I have this past three months. Obviously I've always been a mom and love my kids unconditionally, but as I phrased it when telling a friend about our situation, "This shit just got real."

They must celebrate the 100 day mark for a reason, as if everything magically improves at that point. I am hoping so. I know that it's an adjustment for all the kids, especially now that they're there even longer, but our little guy has been through hell. He's really quiet around other kids, has a VERY vivid imagination to the point that he gets lost in his own make believe worlds, and he doesn't like unpredictable movement in his immediate vicinity - think dogs, small children, etc.  He quite often raises his hands in front of him if anything gets too close.

We started getting reports every day that he was pushing other kids, kicking, hitting, saying bad words...every parent's nightmare. We talked to him about it but he could never really explain what was happening. He would tell us that other kids were hitting him, but he would never tell the teacher or the playground monitors when it happened.

It all came to a head in November, and I just happened to have a week off. I was volunteering in his class and had the opportunity to observe some of the behaviour. Kids were running up to him, telling him to say bad words and then telling on him. They were rushing him and hitting him, and then telling on him if he put his arms up to protect himself. Yes, he sometimes hit back, he sometimes pushed kids out of the way, but it was clear he was being targeted and baited. He'd been identified as different and was paying the price.

Mr. Awesome volunteered one day and witnessed a boy go up to our little man, who was playing quietly by himself, and kick him in the chest. This same boy was the centre of various reports we heard, knocking kids down, sitting on their chests, choking people...but he never seemed to be the focus of any discipline. No one ever reported it as it happened. And it seemed that his behaviour was serving as a model for all the other kids. Soon EVERYONE was hitting, kicking, punching...it was completely toxic. I knew we would face bullying at some point in our kids' school careers, but in KINDERGARTEN?!

It's not helped by the fact that 14 out of the 22 kids in the class are boys and they are very rambunctious. With a pretty much unsupervised breaks at lunch and recess, these kids are running around going nuts and having no idea what their boundaries are.

I started to get serious anxiety, as I was at a complete loss for what to do. Did we change classes, schools, consider home schooling? I was looking at any and every option as nothing seemed to be getting better. But we really like his teacher and he was doing well "academically," if you can call it that at the age of five.

Finally the school started to take some action. The behavioural consultant started paying better attention to the actual behaviour, instead of just listening to the reports of the monitors. They had a meeting of the resources team to see what could be done. Finally they were addressing the problem. We are very present in the classroom through volunteering, and one of us is always right there at pick up and drop off to check on how the day went.

The Christmas break seems to have made a difference, and all the kids seem to have calmed down a bit. There are always reports of someone doing something to someone else, but it no longer seems to be ALL about our little man. We're still working on getting him to say something when someone does something to him, to use his "big voice" and ask them to stop, to move away, to tell a teacher, but that kind of response isn't his first instinct. In fact he quite often smiles when he's uncomfortable so someone that doesn't know him well would think he's fine or enjoying himself. Only we seem to know better.

I hesitated blogging about it as the situation is still fairly unresolved but, as I usually discover through blogging, we can't be the only family going through this. And no one seems to talk about it, so here I am. Talking about it.

We're quickly approaching the 100 day mark. We will see how things go, and just love him, support him and teach him the best ways we know how and hope it all gets better with time.

Ugh.

Why Run When You Can Fly? (Or Call Me Tink.)

Pre-race ignorance.

Okay, we didn't exactly "fly," but Mr. Awesome and I can now say that we have run a half marathon. And with decent times. Any finish time is a huge accomplishment but I'm proud of my 2:37 for a first attempt.

Seven months of training and anxiety, one pair of New Balance runners, running gear for all kinds of weather July through January, a completed half marathon...I think I can actually now call myself a runner. Which is the WEIRDEST thing I've ever called myself.

For those that don't know, we did the runDisney Tinker Bell Half Marathon, which weaves its way through California Adventure Park, Disneyland and the streets of Anaheim. It was awesome. It starts at 5:00am as everything needs to be cleaned up before the parks open. That means a 4:00am arrival time. UGH. But probably best because if I'd been any more awake I may have let my nerves get the best of me.

Post-race glow.

We were very lucky to have friends near San Diego come up for the night and look after our kids as of 3:00am. Not sure how other parents do it, but judging by the fact that there were VERY few men (1600 out of 12,000) participating, I guess all the dads were on kid duty while the moms were running.

I started to get quite nervous the day before. There was no turning back and it got very real. It had always been so far in the future but all of a sudden we were there and it was happening. A colleague of mine and experienced runner shared some advice she'd received that had stayed with her. John Stanton, founder of the retail chain Running Room, had said "Trust your training." So I did. I never actually trained to the full 13.1 miles, the furthest I went was 10.3 during my training runs, but I felt that I could handle the extra distance. Granted, the last 2-ish miles did kind of hurt, but it was manageable. The good news was that the first 10.5 hurt a lot less than they had in the training runs...just goes to show they make those programs for a reason and the system works!

runDisney puts on a great race, with all the polish and pizzazz you would expect from a Disney-related event.  You get a unique after hours (actually, before hours) peak into the world of Mickey Mouse, and behind the scenes too as some of the course goes behind the magic. The Disney "Cast Members" are out in force throughout the parks, cheering you on. I know they were getting paid, but the fact that they were out there at 5:00am was pretty awesome.

We would definitely do it again, but now I'm scouting other destinations...why not use them as motivation to keep going? Vegas? San Diego? Walt Disney World? New York? It's a whole new world of possibilities!

Speaking of motivation, I got to meet someone that was part of mine when I was going through my weight loss. Ali Vincent was winner of The Biggest Loser season 5 and she was at the pre-event Health & Fitness Expo. I watched all the seasons online while losing weight, and they really did inspire me. Thanks Ali!

I know lots of people complete half marathons every week and it's not an earth-shattering accomplishment for everyone, but this was a big deal for me. I used to skip runs in high school feigning exercise-induced asthma. I hated running and avoided it at all costs. There were definitely times I considered packing it in and forfeiting the registration fee, but several things kept me going:

• Mr. Awesome. He was always encouraging, supportive and telling me he was proud of me. That and the fact that he was registered too made it hard for me to quit. 
• My friends and co-workers. What an amazing group of people I have around me. Always checking in, always encouraging and when the time came to head south, everyone was coming by my office with good wishes. Two friends even gave me this awesome pair of socks to inspire me. 
• Sheer determination. I made the process public on Facebook and I'd be damned if I gave up and disappointed anyone, let alone myself. 

So, first one down. I went for a short run the other day and it didn't kill me so I guess I will keep going. That and the fact that I've already registered for the BMO Vancouver Half Marathon on May 5...more motivation. :)

My bling.

Wahooo! I'm a runner! 

Live an Extraordinary Life

I haven't blogged in a long time. I have at least five posts percolating but they all will have to keep bubbling as this one can't wait. I need to write.

Today I was fortunate to be at the funeral of a truly remarkable person. The strange thing is I never had the honour of meeting him. He is the step-son of a colleague, and I went to support her and the family. But from what I learned at the service the world has lost a truly special being.

He lived his life in service to others. He was a paramedic, had served on numerous Search & Rescue teams around the Lower Mainland of Vancouver, trained hundreds of first responders and search teams. He was well respected and liked. He was an avid outdoorsman. The church was full with close to, if not over, a thousand people in attendance. The honour guard was made up of paramedics, search and rescue, Vancouver Police...every service was represented as his life and work had touched them all. Every uniform you can imagine filled the pews. His brother and dad gave the eulogy and it was so moving.

This man that I will never meet seemed like he could have been a friend. He's my age, likes the same music, loves the outdoors, his family...but for geography of where we grew up he could have been one of our group.

Rollie led a truly extraordinary life. And I don't believe he ever set out in that pursuit. He simply wanted to help and serve.

I was at a luncheon yesterday where Mia Farrow was the keynote speaker. She said many things that hit home, but one in particular stuck with me. She said "Don't look for happiness, you will never find it. Look for a way to help and happiness will find you." She never looked for her life to be extraordinary, but it certainly is.

Some people set out to be famous and in this age of reality television and YouTube even the least talented individual can make that happen if their timing is right.Some people set out to change the world. Some people set out to make a difference. These are HUGE, somewhat intangible concepts. Where do you even begin?

But if you set out to help, to look for a way to help, as Rollie and Mia did, then you will definitely make a difference. You just might change the world.