Finding My Weigh

Hello Kitty, Goodbye Diapers

2012-01-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

We decided some time ago that we would not potty train the little miss. Like, ever. We quite simply did not want to fail as epically as we had with the little man. A year and a half of absolute hell had scarred us to the point of letting her wear diapers forever rather than start the nightmare all over again.

Even at fourteen months when she started using the toilet on a semi-regular basis, we resisted. I didn't even write about it here because if I ignored it then it wasn't real. It was too early, we didn't want to push it. She was pooping on the potty long before the little man, but we were too mired in the dark, bribery-riddled place of Legos for poops to actually admit it. The closest we came was moving her from diapers to Pull-Ups, to make her frequent potty trips more convenient.

She wouldn't even use the potty, preferring the actual toilet for her business. And despite our only taking her when she announced it, she was still averaging about a 75% success rate. People would ask if we were training her and we would either avoid the question or flatly say "No." We would just take her when she said she had to go. But potty training? Never.

Last week her preschool teacher asked if we wanted to start, as apparently any time they asked the kids who were potty training if they had to go she would squeal with glee and do anything she could to join them. Our little girl was basically begging for it, wanting desperately to be part of that toilet-using elite.

The time had come and we couldn't ignore it anymore. We agreed that we would start potty training the following Monday, but on Friday morning our little lady announced that she wanted to wear panties. So there you go.

Now the little man actually mastered peeing LONG before the other business got sorted out, so I had kind of forgotten those messy first few days. Four sets of wet pants later and I decided to brave a trip to Walmart. Crazy? You bet. But it was fine. We even bought her a few sets of Hello Kitty underpants to sweeten the pot, but I was confident in the power of the Dora the Explorer pair she was wearing. I mean, how could you pee on Dora?

It was only on a stop at the library on our way home that my cockiness caught up with me. Now, I'm not a complete idiot. I did have a change of her clothes with me. But being out of practice with the wet pants scenario, I did neglect to pack an extra pair of socks. Or a plastic bag to put the wet clothes in. Rookie move. Serious rookie move.

That was last week. And we're pretty much done. A few accidents here and there, but basically done. Thank you God, Hello Kitty or whatever power you choose to pray to. And you can hate me all you want, but I invite you to read ANY of my previous posts to know that this is truly some sort of divine intervention and someone up there is paying us back for the trauma we endured for almost two years.

We're still in diapers for bedtime, whereas the little man stayed dry through the night from early on. It really does go to show you that every kid is different and you just never know. I can't even bear to think how many trouser bombs we could have avoided if we had let the little man do things in his own time. We were first-time parents and eager to get started, and well...you know how that turned out. Maybe not even in his own time, as he could very well be in diapers til this day, but just a little longer.

Hindsight is 20/20. And I can "what if" and "if only" with the best of them, but for now I will just be happy to be done with potty training, once and for all.

Now if we could just find the magic answer for the little man's sleep issues.

It's always something.

The Good, The Bad, and The Depths of Hell

2012-01-13T16:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, three months since my last post. It feels like a year since I had a moment or the brain power to actually sit here and start typing. We are in the midst of what I can honestly say is the hardest phase of parenthood we have been through to date. And I thought potty training was a difficult phase. I would trade a trouser bomb any day for the knowledge that we were heading into a good night's sleep.

A quick update for anyone that has followed our saga de poop: Potty training the little man is as complete as we are going to get until he learns to wipe his own butt and actually aim, but we'll take what we can get. We are now the proud owners of an EXTENSIVE Lego collection, but it was worth every brightly coloured block to find a reward system that actually worked.

That is the "good" part of this post. The "bad" and the "depths of hell" are all kind of rolled into one with the update to come.

Right around the beginning of December, the little man started to get anxious about bedtime. It escalated pretty quickly, mixed together with some nightmares about horses and some very tired parents.

Since we went through sleep training three years ago, he's been a champion. He has gone to bed with no issues, slept through the night except for the occasional night terror, and although he's always been an early riser, it's been fine. Now all of a sudden he won't go to sleep if we're not in the room, and he wakes constantly throughout the night and freaks out if we're not there, or runs into our room screaming. He then won't go to sleep again unless we're with him. Every single night.

It started out as fear, then anxiety, and lately it's become a power struggle, pure and simple. The fear is gone because we actually talked to the imaginary horses, gave them names, and asked them to leave. We're still working through the anxiety, but at some point the getting up and screaming became more habit than anything else.

It's killing us.

Well, to be more accurate, it's killing me. Mr. Awesome has absolutely proven his moniker throughout this time, and especially this past week. I was literally falling apart. I do not do well with little, or frequently interrupted sleep. I was a basket case most of the time, flipping between sobbing and a numbness that felt like the precipice of depression.

On Monday of last week we went to our doctor and he told us to back to sleep training. We didn't really know that you could do that with a four and a half year old, but after some exhaustive (pun intended) searches online and a re-read of our original sleep training book, we decided to give it a go.

Because I was past the point of coping, Mr. Awesome gave me earplugs and told me to go to bed, saying he would take the first night. This had more meaning to me than any bouquet of flowers - that was pure LOVE, baby. And he took the next few nights too, working through the repetition of going in at regular intervals and letting the little man know everything was okay and that it was time to be asleep.

It is not easy. Last time it took three nights and we were done. A four and a half year old is a lot different than an 18 month old. (Duh.) The last time we went through this he was in a CRIB, for Pete's sake. He's constantly getting out of bed, turning on his light, saying he needs to go to the bathroom, anything and everything to avoid going to bed without us in the room.

Last night was night #5 and we're still not seeing a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. Awesome went camping last night with friends so it was all me. I was dreading it. It wasn't great and I did leave the TV on all night so the little man would think I was on the couch, but it was definitely better. Marginally.

Mr. Awesome will hate the electricity bills, but that just might be the price of a rested child and wife. You find what works best for your family and roll with it, right?

Giving Thanks for Poop: Potty Training Progress

2011-10-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

It's Thanksgiving in Canada and I am thankful for all the blessings in my life. But most of all, today, I am thankful for poop.

As I type, the little man is in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet.

That's right friends, we have achieved the impossible. The unimaginable. The dream of all potty-training-challenged parents everywhere. The little man is pooping on the potty.

After one year and nine months of pants bombs, trouser grenades, Code Browns and poop-splosions, we are now on day four of toilet poops.

If the past year and nine months has taught me anything, it's to not get my hopes up. I am taking this day by day and not assuming that the accidents are behind us forever, but holy mother of GOD does this feel good.

There have been a couple of steps forward and many steps back in the last month, but it started to finally feel like we were doing something right. We had a visit with the pediatrician a few months ago and explained the hell we were living (not in quite those words), and he "prescribed" a six month course of not talking about poop. Now, for anyone that's been reading this blog for a while now, you know that that's virtually impossible for me. And his advice wasn't to necessarily banish the topic, but to just not make it a big deal. If accidents happened, clean them up and move on. And we were to not spend any length of time discussing the situation, either with the little man, each other or anyone else.

While this did not magically end the messes, it did lift the stress right off. Our home became more relaxed and everyone involved got happier. Now, patience has never been one of my virtues, so it won't be a surprise to anyone that we didn't wait the FULL six months. But we followed the cues the little man gave us, and we started a whole new plan.

We were at Costco one day (imagine that) and found a set of interactive books called Ready to Read. Kind of like LeapFrog, this set comes with a "pen" that reads the coding on the pages and plays words, songs, stories, etc. Some of the books are more advanced, so those went up on the shelf. These became our potty books. They could only be read while sitting on the toilet. Pretty soon he wanted to sit on the toilet all the time, as he loved them so much. He wasn't actually trying to go, but it was a HUGE step forward from where we'd been.

At the same time we instituted a reward chart. Our initial challenge was that for months he had absolutely refused to sit on the toilet. He would lose his mind if we even suggested it, so at first the reward stickers were for sitting. For every five stickers he would get a (small) Lego set.

We very quickly realized we were going to go broke fast with the current system. Mr. Awesome is a bit of a Lego-fiend, so he wasn't terribly upset that we were amassing a large amount of the stuff, but the stickers became for actually trying. And over the past month or so, there have been a few successes. Sort of a "one step forward, two steps back" situation, but still progress where none had been.

Then, four days ago, just before bed, the little man said "I think I have to go poop." In he went, sat himself down, and started his reading. Then something changed. He got a look of concentration on his face that we hadn't seen before. And he did it. Because it was just before bed we all happened to be in the bathroom at the time, and man, did we celebrate. I was on the verge of hysteria, almost in tears, laughing and screaming for joy. Mr. Awesome kept saying things like "Dude, that's awesome!" and "Buddy, that's fantastic! I'm so proud of you!" And the little man loved every minute of it. He was laughing and loving our impromptu "potty party," so very proud of himself.

It was like a switch needed to be flicked and he finally "got it." I equate it with the moment I finally KNEW what I had to do to succeed with Weight Watchers. True and lasting success only comes when one is really ready for it. No one can make that happen for you. And just like a weight loss journey, there may be setbacks.

Like I said earlier, we're on day four. Four days of telling us he had to go, sitting on the toilet and actually going. And I'm good with that.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and thanks be to poop.

Splash'N Boots: A Review & Giveaway!

2011-10-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

You should all know by now that my kids watch TV. And it's usually Treehouse.

For those of you that don't know, Treehouse TV is the parent's saviour. It allows me to make a cup of tea, eat breakfast, and sometimes even cook an entire dinner in moderate peace. Shows ranging from 5 minutes to half an hour, with all the kids' favourites - Dora, Franklin, Thomas, In the Night Garden, Yo Gabba Gabba, the Backyardigans...and of course, Roll Play.

The other great thing about Treehouse TV is that they often have one of their shows on tour with Treehouse LIVE. We got to see Yo Gabba Gabba last year and it was awesome. Now we're always on the lookout for which shows are coming live to Vancouver.

Two members of the Treehouse family that I hadn't discovered yet were the children's performers, Splash'N Boots. (Splash is the guy, Boots is the girl, and I only WISH I was cool enough to rock the full-length Converse boots she wears.) They've recently landed a four year national contract on Treehouse TV for their music video "For the Love of Dance", so you can expect to see them in your living rooms soon.

Splash'N Boots are also about to embark on an 11-city tour with Treehouse LIVE entitled "Roll Play Live Animal Party" from October 12 -- November 13. I was disappointed to see the duo weren't making their way west of the Rockies, or actually even west of Saskatchewan, as this looks like a show my kids would absolutely love. You can see the whole tour schedule and buy tickets at www.rollplaylive.ca.

The tour is supported by the Heart and Stroke Foundation as it promotes imaginative movement -- the whole audience will be up on their feet, and will record a song with the band that will be available for free download! And did I mention they will be painted in black light?!

Splash'N Boots just released their second full-length DVD, "Act 2," and I got the chance to check it out. It is awesome. I'm always on the lookout for kids' music and entertainers that don't make me feel like my eardrums are bleeding after the 83rd listening. The music of Splash'N Boots is catchy, musical, their voices sound like real human beings and they are FUN. The have music videos, do silly characters, and dance non-stop. The second I turned it on my kids were transfixed and they are already singing along after one a couple of times. I totally recommend it, and you can get your own copy at www.splashnboots.com.

Or...you could win it! To celebrate the tour and their new DVD, I get to give away some prizes! One lucky reader will win a copy of the Roll Play DVD and CD, and Splash'N Boots' new DVD, "ACT 2."

AND...I will also draw from the entries for tickets to the RollPlayLIVE show! The winner will have select from the following cities:

Winnipeg - October 15
Prince Albert - October 17
Regina - October 19
Saskatoon - October 20
Kitchener - November 7
Hamilton - November 8
London - November 9
Mississauga - November 10
Toronto - November 13

Here’s how to enter to win:

Like Finding My Weigh on Facebook

Leave a comment on this post about your favourite kids' entertainment or Treehouse TV program (1 entry). Make sure to include your city if you want to be entered to win the RollPlayLIVE tickets.

Increase your chances! You can get an extra entry by posting the following on Twitter (1 entry): I just entered to win a @splashnboots & @RollPlayLive prize pack from @findingmyweigh! http://bit.ly/oskXHC

I will draw one winner at random from all entries received (both tweets and comments on this post) on Friday, October 14, 2011 at 9:00am.

Healthy Families BC & a Lululemon Giveaway!

2011-09-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

It seems counter-intuitive. Summer should be an easy time to get out and get active, but without the routine of the school year (yes, even preschool) and scheduled activities, I've actually found it quite a challenge this year to figure out when to work out. Mr. Awesome's hectic travel schedule compounds the issue somewhat, so I'm grabbing opportunities when they come along.

If I just have the little miss it's a bit easier, as I can still go out with her in the stroller and get in a good power walk. The little man makes exercise a little more challenging. He refuses to ride a bike and a walk with him in tow isn't exactly strenuous.

Even though the summer weather is beautiful, I do find it easier to plan our activities during the school year. Maybe summer just has too much freedom - tentative plans to go swimming get put off til the next day because ALL the days are nice, and then end up not happening. The kids still get their running around time in the back yard, but we're not getting out and doing things as a family. Fall and winter bring swimming lessons, preschool and then SNOW!

Last New Year's Eve we went snowshoeing with the kids in backpacks. What a change from two years ago. Mr. Awesome has always been an active guy, but until I started my weight loss journey I wouldn't have classified us an active family. Now that I'm not carrying around that 70lbs and I have discovered my love of keeping active and working out, we do a lot more. I used to shy away from plans that might involve a lot of activity, as my back would get sore, my breath would get short and it just wasn't a good time.

Now it's a whole new world! (But hopefully this year the little man can manage on his own because he's nearing 40lbs and that is a lot of weight to carry through the snow, even for the great Mr. Awesome.) I hope to get a lot more snowshoeing in because that was a great workout.

Healthy Families BC, an initiative from the Province of British Columbia, recently launched a campaign to promote health and wellness in BC families.

Healthy Families is a readily accessible resource to help families eat healthy and live well. This online community which is hosted on the Healthy Families website, blog, Twitter (@healthyfamilybc) and Facebook Page helps BC citizens make informed and positive lifestyle choices.

Healthy Families BC offers everything from inspiring recipes and information on snacks for children to updates on local community based health programs.

GIVEAWAY!

To help raise awareness for this campaign and to encourage BC families to get active, Healthy Families BC has given me a $250 Lululemon gift card to give away one of my readers so they can get active in style!

Here’s how to enter to win:

Like Healthy Families BC on Facebook

Leave a comment on this post about how you and your family keep active during the school year. Lessons, sports teams, etc. (1 entry)

Post the following on Twitter (1 entry):

I entered to win a $250 Lululemon gift card from @HealthyFamilyBC & @findingmyweigh! http://bit.ly/nFzaHt

I will draw one winner at random from all entries received (both tweets and comments on this post) next Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 9:00am. The contest is open to all residents of BC.

Good luck, and get active!

No more games: Losing and Winning with Weight Watchers

2011-08-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers is a huge achievement. One you reach this milestone you only have to weigh in once a month, and as long as you stay with your two pound window (2lbs above or below your goal weight), you don't have the pay the fee.

For about the past four months, I've been playing a little game with myself. I weigh in at home a few days before my scheduled weigh in day, and then if the scale is a bit on the high side I delay the weigh in to the following week. It's a game I've been "winning," until now.

And winning is of course a poor choice of words, as this is not the behaviour I spent a year learning and living. If I was making the right choices every day, then it wouldn't even be an issue.

You also have to pay the fee if you miss a month's weigh in, so being the last weekend in August I HAD to weigh in. (You also get a star sticker for every month you weigh in and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get my star!)

I was 0.8lbs outside my "window," which means I'm actually 2.8lbs above my goal weight. Last month I was lower than goal, so this month I faced a 3.5lb gain. OUCH.

No more games, no more playing the system. I'm going to track, and I'm going to be MINDFUL. I've kind of been kidding myself the last few months, and while I haven't entirely gone off the rails, I certainly haven't been as mindful of what I've been eating. Conscious yes, mindful no.

Three key actions that have likely led me here:

Not bringing my lunch enough at work, so I simply HAVE to go have sushi.
Finishing off what the kids leave on their plates - never a lot, but every little bit counts. I never did this while I was losing weight.

And...
Fruit. As some of you will know, I am NOT following the PointsPlus system, so fruit is NOT zero points. But there have been so many lovely blueberries, cherries, peaches, strawberries, nectarines...the list goes on and I LOVE fruit.

So. No more games. And even though I won't be playing, I'll still be winning. But not Charlie Sheen winning.

September weigh in, here I come.

Saying Goodbye to Caillou

2011-08-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

First off, I have to say that yes, our kids watch TV. Gasp!

Judge me if you will, but when the little man wakes up at 5:30am, sometimes it's the best thing in the world to turn on the giant lightbox and bring to life the wonderful worlds of Netflix or Treehouse.

We've got a pretty steady rotation of Dora, Diego, Max and Ruby, and then the character in question today - Caillou.

At first glance, Caillou is awesome. He's a big brother to a little sister, he does all the activities our little man does, he's potty trained (I wish), and their family situations seem pretty realistic. TOO realistic. Therein lies the problem.

We worry about all the bad words and concepts the little man might pick up at preschool, but we always thought young children's programming was fairly innocuous.

Then "Grumpy Caillou" came to our house. One day our little man crossed his arms and came out with a full on pout, refusing to eat his dinner. We couldn't figure out where he'd learned this, as it's summer vacation and none of the kids we've played with in the last few months do this. A few days later we were watching Caillou and lo and behold, Caillou does the exact same thing. We started calling our little man "Grumpy Caillou" every time it happened, and joking about it until he gave up the pout and agreed to whatever we were asking.

Grumpy Caillou eventually went away and life went on. We've been trying pretty hard to clean up our language over the last year or so - not that we're potty mouths, but there are definitely certain expressions we've needed to curb. The little man has tried out a few of them and we've learned very quickly just what a sponge he is.

Then he started experimenting with the word HATE. Now, we may use that word now and then, but it's not really a regular visitor to our home. I do know that he'd picked it up from my mum one day while playing at her house, because I heard her say it about a show they were watching, and he repeated it immediately. He adores his "Nang Nang" and picks up a lot of her language - mostly safe and British-themed. She's under strict instructions now to clean up her act, which is hilarious because she's a very well spoken, polite, lovely lady.

We explained to the little man that hate isn't a nice word, and gently tried to discourage its use. Then Mr. Awesome was watching Caillou with the kids and wouldn't you know - Caillou says it ALL. THE. TIME. It's hard enough to explain that his Nang Nang shouldn't be saying it, but when his favourite TV show is seemingly endorsing it as well it feels like we're getting outnumbered.

Caillou is now off the morning rotation. That bald little bike riding hate-monger is no longer welcome in our home. We're cutting him off now, who KNOWS what slurs he might come out with in future episodes.

And Nang Nang better watch her back.

The Scoop on the Poop

2011-07-16T16:24:00.001-07:00

Because I know you've all been sitting around with bated breath, just desperate for an update on the little man's potty training saga, here we are. (For any new readers, you can catch up quickly through such posts as "We Suck at Potty Training, Or Why Pull Ups Should Sponsor Me," "Okay, Seriously. I HATE Potty Training," or "Potty Training #2." They're a thrill a minute.)

Well, seventeen months into potty training he has now pretty much mastered pee. He tells us, or usually just runs in and does his business on his own. Aiming is another story, but we're picking our battles.

As for the P-O-O-P (we spell everything now)...not so much. We're pretty much exactly where we were seventeen months ago, but with a lot more screaming about sitting on the toilet. And I say toilet because he is now too big for the potty. He used to sit to pee but now he stands and, like I said, we're picking our battles...for now.

A couple of weeks ago we had an appointment with a pediatrician to talk about this situation and a couple of other questions. Basically, we wanted to make sure we hadn't done something to scar him for life, ensuring he would remain in Pull Ups for all eternity. We took the doctor through the Awesome history of potty training, through the many trials and tribulations. He was lovely and assured us that nothing was wrong, we were still good parents.

What he did do was "prescribe" six months of not talking about the poop AT ALL. We can talk about the pee and encourage him to go, but when the poop hits the fan we just calmly accept that it's happened, clean it up and move on with your day.

It seems a little too "duh," but it has really made a difference to have that six month time frame. We always felt under the gun before, wondering WHEN it was going to magically start working. Now, it doesn't really matter. Yes, I absolutely hope it happens at some point in the next six months, but we're a lot more relaxed now.

Technically they won't let him attend the coming preschool year if he's not fully potty trained, but as long as we can get him to pee at school I think we'll squeak by unnoticed.

So for now, this is the plan. He's definitely a lot more relaxed about it too, which is a good thing. I feel so ashamed that we were stressing him out through our stress. Poor little guy.

In other news, the little miss has decided to potty train herself. At 20 months old she tells us when she has to go, sits on the potty and does her business. It's only about 75% of the time, but it is AWESOME. We're going through diapers at a fraction of the rate we used to, and she is so proud of herself, asking for high fives every time.

It's just as well that she's taken it upon herself, actually, as we obviously don't know what the heck we're doing.

The Last 5 or 10 Pounds

2011-07-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

Over the last ten years or so, up until November 2009 when the little miss was born, I had progressively been getting heavier. I eventually topped out at 230lbs, before getting pregnant.

I never knew what "those last five pounds" meant. I mean, yes, logically I understood the concept, but it was completely foreign to me. It was more like "the last seventy pounds" and once I got going I didn't look back. There was no yo-yo-ing, no backward movement on my journey to my goal.

Until now.

In just 2 weeks it will be one year since the day I reached my goal. Since I returned to work last October it has been getting more and more challenging to get to the gym, and lately my eating habits haven't been what they once were.

Being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers means you have to weigh in at least once a month, and if you remain within two pounds of your goal weight (plus or minus), you don't have to pay the fee. I have weighed in every single month and thus far have not had to pay.

Every month it's been a bit of a game, watching my at-home scale each week and trying to figure out when to head to a meeting. It's cheating the system, really, and last month I almost didn't go.

This is not who I worked so hard to be. And working hard is really what it's all about. My success really began when I realized that I would have to work hard for the rest of my life to maintain this body. But somewhere along the way I started to slip. I started to resent the hard work.

I love the workouts, that hasn't changed. But finding the time to workout is HARD. Mr. Awesome has been travelling for work a lot over the last six months and we can't afford to pay the sitter for any longer than the time I'm at work. The little man is at an age where exercising when he's around isn't exactly practical. I can still get out for a walk with the little miss in the stroller when he's occupied elsewhere, but those opportunities don't come around very often. And yes, I have attempted my Biggest Loser DVD workouts once the kids are finally in bed, but when they wake me up at 5:30am every day it's pretty much the last thing in the world I have energy for in the evenings.

So now I'm facing the very real possibility that I will reach my one year anniversary and be over my goal weight. I feel awful. It will only be a couple of pounds, but I FEEL awful. I want to feel like I did at my "leanest." I now know what "those last five or ten pounds" means. Far too well.

I've talked to my mum about helping me make the time, coming over to sit with the kids for an hour so I can get to the gym, or hanging with the little man so I can take the stroller and get out for a walk. I've talked to Mr. Awesome about it too, but his travel schedule hasn't allowed to even put a plan in place, let alone start one.

I think this is why I haven't blogged in such a long time. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't managing as well as I had been. But that's ridiculous. People that have gone through a weight loss KNOW it's challenging, and people that are currently working through it need to know they're not alone in the occasional set back. So why would I hide that?

I've just called my mum and she's coming over in a few minutes so I can head out for a walk/jog. It's raining and I'm exhausted, but I'm going.

In 14 days I will reach my one year anniversary and I want to CELEBRATE that milestone.

So off I go.

Potty Training Sucks: My Google Search Story

2011-06-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

I discovered Google Search Stories this week. As usual I'm late to the party, but I blame the fact that the original story, "Parisian Love," wasn't aired on the Canadian networks during the Super Bowl.

I decided to create my own, based on what I know best - how NOT to potty train a preschooler. Enjoy.

The Great Leveller

2011-06-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

You can be lying in bed, enjoying a lovely morning snuggle with your partner and kids, giggling and chatting about plans for the day. You can feel pretty blissful in the whine-free, loving moment. You start to think, "Wow, maybe we've got this parenting thing figured out." You start to feel pretty good about yourself.

Then your four-year old says to you "Mum, your breath stinks."

Thanks buddy, for bringing me back down to earth.

Hearing With New Ears

2011-06-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

I can probably count on both hands the number of full episodes of Oprah I have watched in the last 25 years. I am not exactly a member of the Church or Oprah, but I do think she's a force, an inspiration, a powerhouse, and a wonderful woman who has done some amazing things for individuals and society. I caught MOST of her finale episode, and she said something that really stuck with me. I went and found the transcript, so I could have the exact wording to give it context for this post.

"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'

"Understanding that one principle, that everybody wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment. Now I can't say I wasn't judging some days. Some days, I had to judge just a little bit. But it's helped me to stand and to try to do that with an open mind and to do it with an open heart. It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

It's those last few lines that got to me. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. In the chapter on parenting, she talks about how children really just want to be heard, and that a lot of the whining, tantrums, etc result not from not getting what they want, but from the feeling of not being heard. She goes through experiments on ways of speaking to her kids and notes that while it can be sometimes exhausting to take the extra steps to stop and really listen to your child, it ultimately makes for a happier, less stressful, less frustrating day. I know, it's kind of a "duh" concept when you're not experiencing it, but when you're smack-dab in the middle of a chaotic morning where NOTHING is going right, taking a beat to listen to your whining four year-old can be a very real challenge.

I've started trying it out with the little man. It is bloody exhausting, because I have to consciously remind myself to go against my immediate emotional response, pause and proceed with some statement that clearly acknowledges I have heard him and understand what his concerns are. The idea isn't to become the world's biggest pushover and give in to what kids want all the time, but to simply let them know you've heard them and that what they have to say matters. It's hard to do when you're trying to get two kids out the door on time and someone is refusing to cooperate, but in the grand scheme of things, who really cares if we're five minutes late but my kid is happier? Not me.

At the little man's preschool they ask the kids if they have their listening ears on. It seems to me that at most four year olds have thrown away their listening ears in favour of the "I can't hear you" ear muffs, but it's an appropriate metaphor for this new experiment. If I want him to have his listening ears on, I'd better have mine on too.

So thank you, Oprah, and thank you, Gretchen, for helping me to find my new ears.

Finding Some Happiness

2011-06-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

There are times in your life when a particular movie, book, quote, or person comes along at the exact right moment. Something you read or hear breaks through the chaos of your life and clarifies things, even for a split second.

This happened for me recently as I began to read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It is the chronicle of her year-long journey to try and add more happiness to her life. She wasn't an unhappy person, but she believed she could be happier and embarked on month by month process, establishing measurable goals in different areas of her life - home, marriage, parenting, work, etc. For January, for example, she made resolutions to go to bed earlier, exercise better, organize her home,etc.

Rubin has developed the "Secrets of Adulthood," a list of seemingly common sense concepts like "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do," but you don't always think about until someone says them in the exact right way. I'm only up to the month of May right now but already I feel this woman and I should be great friends. Her parenting ideals and frustrations are right in line with mine, so when she refers to a book that she finds helpful and informative, I hop on to Amazon to order it. (I'm currently awaiting my copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk all because Gretchen wrote about it. And because I want to talk so the Little Man will listen.)

There are a number of blog-worthy ideas in this book, and I will likely be writing about it again. Given my current "feeling stalled" situation, this book came at the exact right time. a) It's about finding more happiness and clarity in an already happy and full life, and b) it's a PROJECT. It's even in the name. I was JUST writing about how I love projects and need a new one, and lo and behold I start reading a book about one. It's like fate or something. Fate or creative marketing on behalf of the publisher. Either way, I'm pretty excited about it.

Like I said, I'm only up to May and the whole thing may fall apart by December. But stand by for more posts, I'm already working on one in my head as I type.

Look out world, I'm feeling inspired.

Old Habits Die Hard

2011-06-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Every month my emotions and my body go into a battle to the death. I have always been an emotional eater, a bored eater...and every month around the same time, I start to notice that I want to snack all. the. time. I finish one snack and I'm immediately jonesing for another fix of sweet or salty goodness. At this same time my body starts to get all bloaty and I start to freak out that I'm losing control of everything I worked for.

I didn't have these same cravings when I was on my journey to weight loss, so what the heck is going on now?! I'm panicking that the old Gillian is trying to make a comeback.

Old habits die hard. That's not just a saying because it's catchy. 34 years of building one set of habits cannot be completely erased by one year of better choices. Every now and then, and yes, usually once a month, the old Gillian rears her not-so-lean face and wants to eat everything in sight.

I knew when I started the process that I would have to make conscious decisions every day of my life if I wanted to stay in the body I had achieved. But after a year you get a little lazy, a little complacent and I'm BORED of making those same decisions. I want to EAT!

Sorry, that was the old Gillian. I have now squashed her back down for the moment and will choose the better road.

It's not like the old me wants ice cream for breakfast, but when Mr. Awesome brought home strawberry and rhubarb pie last night, HELL YESI had a piece. And as Weight Watchers will tell you, that's fine, as long as you have eaten accordingly for the rest of the day, or you have your extra weekly points left. Blah blah blah. (Shut up, old Gillian!) Lately I'm thinking less about points and more about the deliciousness of that second 100-calorie snack. Of course then it becomes a 200-calorie snack and that pretty much defeats the purpose of pre-portioned snacking.

A colleague told me the other day that the Vancouver Canucks play "Whistle to Whistle." They only focus on the next immediate goal, the next 30 seconds, the next play. I am making a resolution here and now that when the old Gillian tries to grab an extra snack, I will play whistle to whistle, until the urge subsides. It's a great mantra and I will recite it to myself to get through the temptation.

I may not be bigger than the old me, but I'm definitely stronger and I will win.

Just like the Canucks. GO CANUCKS GO! (Sorry, it had to be said. Game 1 is tonight.)

Oh Gillian, Just Get Over Yourself

2011-05-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Why can't I write a blog post? Why has it been four weeks since my last entry?

I started this blog as a place to share, to vent, to motivate (myself and others), to inspire, to confess...to be open and honest in a safe, albeit public, place. Even though it's a safe space, I've always tried to write posts that will connect for my readers, sharing my insights or challenges in the hopes that someone will say "I totally get that."

I feel stalled. I am still working through the challenges of maintaining my goal weight, the little man is STILL dropping pants bombs ever single day with no signs of progress after a year and a half...I feel like I have nothing new to report and don't want to burden my readers with the same old topics.

I'm feeling stalled personally, professionally, and I hate this feeling. I have always been one to look forward, on to the next project, the next goal. This is probably not a terribly productive or healthy way to be, as I am not very good at just being present in the moment, but I'm working on it. I LOVE new projects, big or small. I start to get antsy if one is coming to an end, and I very quickly fill the void with a new plan. Maybe my new project should be to live without a project, to just BE...
Um, no. I just don't think I can do that for very long.

The project of potty training the little man has been dragging on for a year and a half and I'm frankly done with it. There is no real progress...well, that's not entirely true. There is progress on the pee front. We're working really hard to empower him to do things for himself - get undressed, brush his teeth, go pee on his own, etc. He's never been big on independence, usually giving a half-hearted effort and then saying "I need help." This morning he got up, went pee, then proceeded to brush his teeth and wash his hands all before coming in to find me. That's big progress, and it was pretty exciting even at 5:45am. But the poo thing is the same as it ever was, with a grenade (if we're lucky) appearing at least once a day. He disappears into his room to play and then we go in and check on him and are greeted with a wall of stink as we open the door. Every. Single. Day.

One of my current projects is my garden, and it's one project where I can see daily progress and growth - literally. I didn't start this page as a gardening blog, and other than a few rants about my beloved lawn, I don't want to bore you with the daily millimetric growth of my veggies. Maybe just one photo...or two. That's it, I swear.

Shortly after it was planted. Mr. Awesome built me this fantastic raised bed.

Now check out my peas!

Okay, enough about my garden, for now. This isn't a gardening blog, it isn't a cooking blog, it isn't even just a mommy blog or a weight loss blog. It's a blog about my life and I don't like admitting when things aren't going perfectly. Don't get me wrong, I still love my life and everyone in it more than I can even express, I'm just feeling...STALLED. Things at work aren't how I would ideally like them to be, which is a whole other blog post that I will never write. I can't find as much time to work out as I would like. My body isn't feeling as tight as it did at its best - I'm still maintaining the pounds, just not the feeling. We'll be potty training until the little man gets married and it becomes someone else's problem. Because you KNOW that's a huge selling feature on the dating scene...

This is why I haven't written in so long. I haven't wanted to bore you with my petty grievances. I already bore my friends to the point that they probably wince when they see me coming (I HOPE I am exaggerating), so I don't want to drive you away too.

So, I will endeavour to just get over myself. Life is, in fact, pretty awesome. I just need to stop once in a while and enjoy it.

Raising Kids is a Scary Thing.

2011-04-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

I read an article in the Vancouver Sun last week that has me completely freaked out. This man passed away at the age of 59 surrounded by his family and a room full of love, but that is the happy ending of a very tragic story. Basically from his first drink at 13, addiction took control. Alcohol, drugs of any variety, and stealing took him down an almost irreversible path. His family tried to help but he rejected every attempt.

A couple of weeks ago a friend told me about her co-worker's son who had just taken his own life. He was 15 years old and his best friend had committed suicide three weeks earlier. Two young men within a month found life too difficult to face and decided to end their lives. My friend's co-worker had taken her son to counselling after his friend died, talked to him, did all the things you're "supposed" to do to take care of your kids in difficult situations.

How do you know what you're doing as a parent will be enough? Unconditional love and open communication will take you far, but what if you miss something? Our little man is a wild man at home, talking a blue streak (hang on, what does that expression even mean?), dancing, singing at the top of his lungs. Get him outside in the "real world" and he clams up and is glued to our sides. At school he does not talk. And I mean not at all. His teacher actually asked me if he might have a hearing problem (he doesn't, he can hear a truck backing up 18 blocks away) because sometimes he won't acknowledge her. While I agree this isn't acceptable and he should respond to his teachers, it's simply that he is painfully shy. Not only does she not think he can hear, she doesn't think he can talk. She told me not to worry, HER son didn't talk til he was three. Well, that's awesome, genius teacher. My son is four and has a HUGE vocabulary, he just chooses not to share it with you.

The little man is also pretty emotional, but come on, he's FOUR. That's normal, right? Hell, I'm 35 and if my expectations are dashed or my world gets rocked a bit I also feel a bit freaked out.

I guess the answer is to just have faith that all the love, hard work and time you put into your kids pays off and they will emerge from their teenage years relatively unscathed. I do believe the groundwork starts being laid the minute that squirmy little sperm breaks through the wall of the egg, and everything you do basically from that point will in some way contribute to who they become. And from the moment they can articulate even the simplest thing, encouraging communication and talking about feelings. We still struggle with this as the little man can't really identify his emotions with words and we don't want to impress emotions on him by suggesting how he might be feeling. We're hoping that by doing it now it will become part of him and he will eventually be able to talk to us about how he's feeling. Begin as you mean to continue, right? (And yes, I might be over-thinking this.)

I was thinking about this post for a few days when I got an email from a representative of Kids Help Phone. Tomorrow, May 1, is the Walk for Kids Help Phone. National Child and Youth Mental Health day is coming up and they're just about to release a new report called “What’s Hope Got to do With it?”

From Kids Help Phone: We have a sneak peek of the report online at http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/media-centre/publications. That preview includes tips about how we can all work together to foster hope in young people and could be helpful to parents as well as teachers, youth professionals, family friends – anyone who has kids in their lives.

I couldn't help but feel comforted in the fact that even if we do everything "right," do everything we can and build a healthy environment of trust and communication, if ever there is a point that our kids need someone else to turn to, there is an organization like Kids Help Phone out there. They provide online and phone counselling for kids 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. They deal with issues like violence and abuse, bullying, friend issues, dating questions...anything your kids might facing.

Raising kids is a scary thing. Raising teenagers is even scarier. We just have to do the very best we can, talk to them, LISTEN to them, and let them know how much we love them.

And with that, I'm going to go build a train set with my little man.

"You Are Doing it Wrong," or How Mr. Awesome Gives Advice

2011-04-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

"You're doing it wrong." These were the words that greeted me through the kitchen window this morning as I started to lay some bricks as a border to a small patch of grass I intended to seed. "Stop. You're doing it wrong." This just might be the most useless constructive criticism on the planet. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anything in the world (or at least tied with my kids), but he's not always the most tactful when offering advice.

"Why? What's wrong about it?" I asked. "You're just doing it wrong" was the answer back. Thanks, got that the first time you said it. Let's work on moving this conversation forward a little, shall we? However because he was busy with work and kids under foot, that's pretty much where the conversation stopped.

He should really know better. It's not like he just met me.

If I want something done I typically just go ahead and do it. Where I don't need Mr. Awesome's brute strength and technical know-how, I usually just plow ahead. I'm not much of a "measure twice-cut once" type of girl. Yes, this ~~usually~~ sometimes leads to mistakes, irreparable damage, and almost always ridicule from Mr. Awesome (if I haven't already erased or disposed of all evidence before he finds out).

It's mostly because I'm hopelessly impatient. I don't want to wait around for him to be ready to help me do something on his schedule, I want it done NOW. And my bright ideas aren't always the disasters I've made them out to be. We have a number of items around our home, garden, my office, etc that have been my "projects" that actually ended up decently enough to be displayed. (Note to anyone that knows me personally that is reading this - I will NOT be speaking of the recently crafted table lamp.)

And if you happen to catch me mid-project and tell me "You're doing it wrong," you should know full well that this will only make me more determined to finish it and prove you wrong. I WILL finish it, and DAMMIT it's going to look GOOD. And if it doesn't, you'd better NEVER bring it up again.

So back to this morning. I was under the gun as I wanted to get the seed sown before the forecast afternoon rain, because in true "me" fashion I had decided the project would be done today so BY GOD it was going to get done today. Being the good wife and professional communicator that I am, I called Mr. Awesome outside a few minutes later and calmly asked him to explain the issues and what I might do better. We reached a point of understanding and the project continued. The bricks were laid, the soil was spread, the seed was sown.

It's now 8pm and I'm still waiting for that bloody forecast rain.

Um hello? Mother Nature? You're doing it wrong.

We Suck at Potty Training, or Why Pull-Ups Should Sponsor Me

2011-03-08T06:53:00.000-08:00

Last January, that's 2010, we figured we'd better think about potty training the little man. We were planning a trip to Hawaii in April and we thought "Wouldn't it be fantastic if he was trained by the time we went?"

FOOLS. We were absolute fools. On February 22, 2010, I wrote my first blog post ever. I then got very eager and immediately wrote two more, including my first post about potty training. The first of many on the subject.

I called today's post "We Suck at Potty Training," but the truth is if ANY of our methods or tactics had worked we would be touting ourselves as experts in the field and sharing our knowledge with the world. Instead, I am sharing our utter and complete failure.

He'd been in "real underwear" from the beginning of the training, as everyone said never to go back once you'd started. Well, "everyone" hasn't been dealing with trouser bombs every single day for a year. He'd been doing okay, seemingly making good progress on the pee and letting us know when he had to go. The pants grenades were another issue, but we seemed okay with pee. Sure, there were a few accidents here and there but he was even managing to stay dry through the night, most nights.

We've tried bribery. We've tried empowering him. We've tried taking things away. We've been soft and supportive. We've ignored it completely. We've tried letting him go pantsless but quite frankly that grosses me out as he has a tendency towards "sharts" when he's trying his best to hold in his business. Lovely.

It's been over a year. Over the last few months he's gotten worse and worse at letting us know he has to pee, and the accidents have been getting more and more frequent. He will NOT speak at preschool, so occasionally the accidents happened there. In one span of three days he peed his pants eight times, plus of course the daily weapons of mass destruction.

That was it. We were done. We are back in Pull-Ups after a YEAR of potty training. We are not typically prone to throwing in the towel on anything, but we are mentally and emotionally spent. This kid can stay in Pull-Ups until he's thirty if he has to. Do you think Pull-Ups might condsider sponsoring me?!

He turns four in a few weeks and we've been saying that when he turns four he'll be a "big boy" and have to use the potty all by himself. Maybe the stress of that date looming as been the cause of the accidents and his refusal to alert us to his urges. But honestly, I do not know what else to try. We could go back to ignoring it, or I could put sheets over everything, including the carpet and hardwood, and take off the pants again. Shudder.

Part of the problem, I THINK, is that he's just so freaking adaptable. He'll pretty much go along with any situation presented to him. It's like his reality shifts and he moves on - "Oh. I have a poop in my pants the size of an avocado. This is my new reality. Okay. Now where are my trains?"

I just don't know. This seems longer than ANY other potty training saga I have ever heard, but I have noticed that the only people that tend to talk about it are the ones that magically trained their kid in a week or two. I have a note for these people: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. If I am telling you that I have been dealing with puddles and poop for over a year, DO NOT tell me how exceptional your child is at managing his own bodily functions. I don't want to hear it. That was a story for a year ago. Not for a parent that is at her wit's end, envisioning her son going off to college with his Costco-sized box of training pants.

So there you have it. The long-winded update on the continuing saga of potty training in the House of Awesome. Or in this case, Not-So-Awesome.

Seriously, Pull-Ups...call me.

Baby Gourmet - A Review of Some Pretty Awesome Baby Food

2011-03-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

I recently had the opportunity to review Baby Gourmet baby food. The little miss is now 16 months old, but with the fact that she's still only got six teeth, purees are really where it's at! We always have a stock of jar baby food in the cupboard for those "just in case" days where we need something quick and easy, or our chosen dinner plan won't blend well for her.

The founders of Baby Gourmet are quoted as saying "Why feed it to your baby if you wouldn't eat it yourself?" I'm not typically one for dipping into my daughter's meals once they're all blended up, especially if it's the jar stuff, but let's call this my "Aha! moment." More like my DUH moment.

Baby Gourmet food is 100% organic, free of thickeners and fillers. It's a Canadian company, started by two busy moms. Every recipe originates in co-founder Jen Broe's home kitchen.

But that's all on the website. What isn't on the website is how our daughter gobbled it up like it was her last meal on earth. Every flavour, every meal. Flavours include Apple Sweet Potato Berry Swirl, Old Fashioned Apple Crisp, Juicy Pear and Garden Greens, our family favourite - Vanilla, Banana and Berry Risotto. Are you SURE this is baby food?

Even if she had a mouthful of chompers, purees will always be an option. I mean, I still like applesauce and I'm 35, right? And this packaging is certainly a lot more convenient than the heavy glass jar option. The package is BPA free. I wish it was recyclable at any facility, but at least the cap is. When we were in Mexico we were able to throw a couple of these in the diaper bag to take on the plane. Super convenient.

You're probably thinking that this organic manna from Heaven is only available at health food stores, Whole Foods, Choices Markets and the like. Nope. This awesome product is available at WALMART. Seriously. It's also available at www.babygourmet.com and they offer free shipping. I have yet to actually check out the pricing at Walmart, so I can't say whether it's cheaper than on the website. On the site a case of 12 (all the same flavour) sells for $33.99, or you can get a sample of three flavours, three pouches each (for a total of nine pouches if you're arithmetically challenged) for $19.99. Yes, it's a little more than some of the jarred food out there, but what organic food isn't?

This product is great. It's Canadian, it's organic and it's a company founded by moms. And the little miss LOVES it. This was absolutely one of the easiest reviews I've ever written.

Now get down to Walmart and get some!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2011-03-06T22:40:00.000-08:00

So a year ago (actually a year and 12 days ago – oops), I signed up with Blogger and started this blog. I had never blogged before and didn’t know much about the “blogosphere,” the incredible community that exists out there on the Internet. The amazing people I’ve connected with – bloggers, readers, followers, friends – have made me better. A better writer, a better mom, a better wife, a better person.

I called the blog Finding My Weigh because a large part of this blog has been about my weight loss journey. Making the process public made a huge difference to my success, keeping me accountable to myself and my readers who were looking to me for inspiration. I never felt I had to only post about successes, because the very act of admitting I was struggling brought me closer to others. We could share the challenges and celebrate the successes when they did happen.

And speaking of challenges…

This past week has been extremely challenging, being at a work conference centered in a hotel with seemingly never-ending food. Literally, every time we left the session rooms for breaks there would be a huge array of pastries, breads, and yummy treats. The lunches they served were fairly healthy, but right next to the lunch buffet was always THE most ridiculous display of desserts, mostly cakes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Not to mention the fact that I was jet-lagged and busy the whole week so my good intentions of going to the gym every day turned into only going twice. Yes, that’s still decent, but I was sitting most of the day and really needed that physical activity. Unfortunately the excuses were coming fast and furious and I wasn’t very good at fighting them off.

I am currently on the plane on my way home. I feel fat. I have been congested and feeling “off” all week because of the hotel’s air conditioning. I know I’m coming close to that lovely time of the month, but I cannot explain away the bloated, puffy feeling with these excuses. I am pretty sure I gained at least five pounds. The problem with gaining such an intimate understanding of my weight and body is that I have immediate, very real feedback on my poor choices. (Actually, I guess that’s not really a problem!) My jeans aren’t as loose as they were. My waist isn’t as flat as it was this time last week. I made fairly smart choices most of the time, eating smaller portions and lots of veggies, while watching others eat pastries, slather butter on buns, take two servings of dessert at every meal, etc. But I wasn’t as good or as on track as I could have been.

A few months after starting Weight Watchers, something went “click.” I came to the realization that I will have to live and eat mindfully, consciously, every day for the rest of my life if I want to stay in this new body. I can get lazy and go back to the way I lived before, but I know that pretty quickly I would be in a body I wasn’t happy with. It almost feels like I forgot that realization for a few days, or at least ignored it.

I have had trouble finding time to blog lately, unable to manage my time to make it a priority. I can’t help feeling that there is a correlation between my not writing and my lack of will power this past week. Blogging keeps me honest. My readers keep me honest. And I obviously need that on a regular basis to stay on track.

I dread getting on the scale tomorrow morning but I will do it. I’m looking forward to getting back to “normal” food, and regular exercise. And feeling better in my body.

And blogging. I’m looking forward to blogging. A year and twelve days ago I started something really amazing. I’m certainly not touting my success as a blogger, saying that I’m amazing at what I do. What IS amazing is the connection I’ve made with others, and the self-awareness I’ve gained through sharing my thoughts and experiences. Blogging has truly changed my life.

Thank you for sharing this with me. Whether you’ve been around for the last 377 days or just started reading today, thank you.

Wish me luck on that scale.

Oh Right! I Have A Blog!

2011-03-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

I am so sorry. I have let life get in the way of blogging. Forgive me.

We went to Mexico for a week and I specifically took along my trusty little netbook with every intention of writing some blog posts while there. Not a chance.

We got back and I swore I would post in time for my one year "blogaversary," February 22. Nope.

I have a review planned of some AWESOME baby food (Baby Gourmet) but I didn't want that to be the first post after being away for so long so I procrastinated and postponed once again.

I am currently in Toronto on business and for the last three days have been swearing up and down that I would write something. Then today I met a colleague from across the country that I had never met before. Our jobs never intersect so we'd never even emailed each other but it turns out she is a reader of this blog (Hi Kirsten!). Small world, and she mentioned that she'd noticed I'd kind of dropped off the face of the planet.

Again, I'm sorry. Blogging is like weight maintenance. It's a commitment and if you don't stick with it things can go a little off the rails!

I have several posts percolating and I promise I will get to them, but for now here's the scoop:

- After a year of potty training we have taken the little man back to Pull-Ups. This is a blog post all its own, so I'll leave it at that and post this story in its entirety soon.

- I'm having some challenges with maintenance but no real slip ups to speak of. This week of conference food ismaking it increasingly difficult but I will get through. I actually LOST weight in Mexico (and no, not because of bad water) because we walked up and down a 75 degree hill at least twice every day.

- I would still like to write a post about my blogaversary as this past year of blogging has had an incredible impact on my life. It may end up being a "Happy Year And 12 Days" blogaversary but it will get written.

For now, that's the catch up. I will be in touch again shortly but for now it's bedtime. Our hotel room is sweltering and the thermostat is already as low as it can go, so maybe I can sweat off some of the delicious food they've been plying us with since Wednesday.

Sweet dreams!

G.

I Have a Cleaning Lady. So Sue Me.

2011-02-06T14:07:00.000-08:00

Late last year the little miss got mobile, and our previously we-can-manage-the-preschooler-mess house instantly transformed into a daily tornado scene. Any time we previously had (and let's be honest, it wasn't a lot) for bathroom cleaning, cupboard wiping, appliance de-fingerprinting was now taken up by simple pick up of toys, clothes, papers - anything and everything she got her hands on that she could fling far and wide.

I put a call out on my beloved Facebook to see if anyone I knew had a decent cleaning service. We've tried a few over the last few years, none regularly because of the cost. Mr. Awesome is...um...thrifty. He's been swearing since we moved in two and a half years ago that we can't get our windows cleaned because he will do them himself. WHY should he pay someone $100 to clean all of our windows, inside and out, when he can easily do it?! Good question, and in theory, this is a valid point. IN THEORY. In reality, we've now lived here two and a half years and our windows still have the post-reno guck not washed away by rain or wind. It's just mild enough that it can't be seen from any distance, so it's remained a low priority problem.

So anyway, back to the cleaners. Along the same vein, Mr. Awesome swore up and down we could manage the household chores by establishing a list of 15-minute tasks that we split up and each take one each day. Two flaws with this plan - 1, the whole house is never clean at the same time so we're always living with something undone, and 2, we never found the time to make the plan! We couldn't even find time to PLAN the system, let alone actually do our 15 minute tasks!

One of my dear friends sent me info on her cleaning service, who happened to be having a ridiculously good special encouraging people to book12-week packages for a reduced price. It worked out to only about $45/cleaning, every two weeks.

Yes, I could get up an extra half an hour early and stay up late every day, but friends, I am tired. I want to spend my extra time with my family, not with my head and shoulders rammed down behind a toilet. Call me crazy. We already spend plenty of time doing dishes, general wipe-up, pick-up, and given the fact that the little man is STILL not fully potty trained (don't get me started), we are doing laundry EVERY DAY.

The other bonus of our bi-weekly cleaning sessions is that it forces us to tidy up before they arrive. And then it stays WAY tidier throughout the two weeks. Things don't pile up the way they used to, even with our 15-month old cyclone tearing the place to bits.

So yes. I have a cleaning service. I'm less stressed out about the condition of our house, and I spend more time with my family. Best $45 I've ever spent.

I Fear Having Teens, and Why I'm Mad at Enrique Iglesias

2011-01-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation the other day and someone commented on how awful it must be to be a teenager in the world of Facebook. I love Facebook and credit it (partially) with many of my opportunities of the last few years. I have reconnected with some absolutely fantastic people, and connected more deeply with others as a result of this addictive website. I'm a self-diagnosed Facebook addict. It's chronic.

Yes, I love Facebook NOW, but I cannot imagine my high school years being this connected to my friends and enemies of the moment. Life can already change in the blink of an eye when you're in high school, switching alliances and best friends faster than the cafeteria menu changes features. Knowing my BFF hung out with my mortal enemy and being able to see photographic evidence, seeing pictures of my biggest crush hanging out with the class slut, having my friends make comments on photos that I was already insecure about - it's all just too much.

Facebook has really only taken hold within the last few years and it truly has changed the world and the way we connect with others. My kids are years away from becoming teenagers, and I can only imagine the technological and sociological advances we will have seen by then. (Actually, I can't imagine them, which is why I will never be worth $50 billion dollars.) What gadgets and gizmos will be available to our children in the year 2020? How will kids interact? One a side note, it drives me crazy when I see kids plugged in to their game or music devices, not talking to their friends or family. Mr. Awesome and I have made an agreement that although our kids may have those items one day, they will not "plug in" during family time. Luckily, our kids already seem to love watching the world go by (with a running commentary from the little man) on road trips, so we haven't even had to invest in a sanity-saving DVD player for the vehicles. But I digress.

I am truly fearful about the challenges that will come with raising teens. The world is such a different place now and I know how hard I found it back then. And it's not just technology. For years people have been up in arms about the effect music will have on the impressionable young. From Elvis' hypnotic hips to Britney Spears' barely-there outfits and evocative lyrics, "adults" have worried about their children being led into temptation just by hearing this music. I used to think these arguments were ridiculous, but I hate to admit it, I fear I am now one of these adults.

I'm torn, because I have a very clear memory of singing the 1987 Paul Lekakis hit "Boom Boom (Let's Go Back to My Room)" in front of my mum (I was 12) and being told that it "wasn't a very nice song." I didn't really know what I was singing about, but I'm pretty sure most 12 year olds today would know what "so we can do it all night" means. Scary, but true.

This brings to me to why I'm mad at Enrique Iglesias. I recently compiled a workout mix from some of Mr. Awesome's new music. (I should explain, Mr. Awesome is a DJ and has several CD subscriptions that bring new music to our house monthly.) I chose songs quickly, listening to the first few seconds to establish the beat and see if it would keep my butt chugging on the treadmill. I didn't listen to any lyrics before adding the songs to my playlist.

So there I am, loving my new mix and keeping a good 4.1-4.2 pace on the treadmill when Enrique Iglesias' song "I Like It" comes on. And about 30 seconds in, I hear these lyrics:

(From "I Like It" by Enrique Iglesias, featuring Pitbull)

Girl, please excuse me
If I'm coming too strong
But tonight is the night
We can really let go

My girlfriend's out of town
And I'm all alone
Your boyfriend's on vacation
And he doesn't have to know

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It's bad enough to think about young kids singing about sex like it's no big deal, but adultery? That cutie patootie Enrique is encouraging the screaming girls that swoon over him to cheat on their boyfriends and/or be the other woman enabling a man to cheat? Suddenly this is okay behaviour? And it's not just the kids, it's ANYONE that listens to his music. On what PLANET did he or his manager think that was a good idea for his image?

Needless to say the song did not live long on my playlist. Now I'm all riled up again. I need to calm down.

The best thing we can do is be the best parents we know how to be, talk openly with our kids, and pray to GOD that they come out of the teenage years in one piece. No problem, right?!

Although I do worry about the ridicule the little man might face if he's still dropping pants bombs at the age of 14.

Don't laugh. It could happen.

Back Tracking

2011-01-30T08:52:00.000-08:00

Over the last year I have developed a very clear awareness of my body. As I've said in previous posts, I can predict right to the pound what my scale will say when I step on.

Lately I've been feeling a little "squidgey," not as trim as before, not quite as tight as I like to feel. The scale is reporting that as an approximate two pound gain, but it's not about the number. It's about how I feel. Obviously, I don't want that number to creep any higher, but if I was feeling like my best physical self it wouldn't really matter.

For the last six months or so I've been eating "mindfully," not actively tracking my WW points. I've also been keeping pretty steady at about 2.5 workouts a week when I would really like to be at four. In the last month I would say my mindful eating has become a little less mindful. I've still been eating the same way, but there have definitely been a few extra 2-point snacks thrown in each day.

Before this begins a slippery slope that is difficult to climb back up, I am getting back on track. I'm not going to necessarily write down everything I eat, but I will mentally track it. I'm sticking with my tried and true Momentum points plan, still wary of the new PointsPlus. Yesterday I kept track and ended the day at 28 points. My daily allowance is 29 so that's pretty darn good. Mr. Awesome's been away a lot this month which makes finding time to get to the gym a lot more difficult, but with the help of my mum (Nang Nang) I have been making workout time a priority and fitting it in everywhere I can.

This is the reality of a working mom, which is why I started this journey while on maternity leave and established as many new habits and schedules as I could before I was back at work. I knew very well that things would change and shift a bit and planned accordingly but it is tough. Almost all my co-workers are health conscious and workout actively, going to classes after work and on weekends. They don't have munchkins to feed dinner by 5:30pm, bathe and get to bed for 7:30pm before they themselves pass out at 9:00pm and start their day again bright and early at 5:30am! Some nights I would prefer a Zumba class to a fight over who's eating whose dinner and whether or not someone has pooped in their pants, but for the most part my evenings with my family are very precious.

So, I have to work this out. The eating thing is just pure will power and staying mindful. The workout thing takes a bit more logistical effort, but it's doable.

Now I'm off to the gym. Once again, God bless Nang Nang.

Like a Knife to the Heart

2011-01-22T08:38:00.001-08:00

Let me just start this post by saying we love our nanny. She comes two days a week and she's been with us since the little man was seven months old, with the exception of my latest mat leave. She's awesome and the kids love her.

Which brings me to the guts of this post. The kids love her.

I came home the other day and the little miss was being her as-of-late dramatic self, clinging to the nanny's legs. The nanny picked her up while I was taking my shoes and jacket off, setting down my bags, etc and when I was ready I went over to see if she would come to me. Not only would she not come into my arms, but she turned away and clung to the nanny for dear life. I went around to peek at her from the other side and she actually pushed my face away. It was quite literally a slap in the face from a little girl that has, up til now, been a mama's girl.

I was telling my mum this story and she then proceeded to tell me that that very same day, while she had been out with the nanny and the kids, the nanny had taken a second to get out of the vehicle to run and get something. Well apparently my little miss burst into floods of tears and started screaming "Mama! Mama!"

Um...EXCUSE ME?

Logically, I know that all kids go through this. I remember the little man shunning me once in favour of this same nanny at around this same age, but he never (to my knowledge) gave away my title to someone else.

I get it, and I can rationalize it until the cows come home, but hearing that my little girl called someone else "Mama" was an absolutely knife to my heart.

It's a phase. I know it's a phase. And I know my baby knows who her mummy is. But at 1:30am when she's crying to be picked up and is not wet/hungry/in pain it is very hard to resist the guilt that starts creeping in and encouraging me to cradle her for the four hours she would happily stay awake.

I believe there is a balance between constant cradling, jumping to answer their every whim, and helping them learn to self soothe and find their own solutions to the basic "I dropped my doll" issues of toddler life.

But if I hear she's called anyone else Mama, I may abandon my beliefs and never put her down again. Although that could get problematic when she needs to start school...

Preparation + Relationships + Opportunity

2011-01-15T06:04:00.000-08:00

Life is an amazing thing. Last year I wrote a post about how I got to where I am today, looking back at the decisions I've made in my career path and the bonds I've forged with key people in my life. It's one of those bonds that has brought me to write this post today.

The final stage in that last post was arriving at the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and a marketing job I absolutely love. This is still 100% true and will not change anytime soon. But a piece of the past has found me again and a new opportunity has come up, one that I am pursuing in my "spare" (HA!) time.

About seven years ago I was working for a PR firm (for those of you that read the other post, the firm run my the woman that is now my boss at CBCF). One of our clients was a popular spa in downtown Vancouver, and I became friendly with the manager. We lost touch when I left the firm, and reconnected a couple of years ago by chance at a coffee shop near our homes (who knew we now only live five minutes apart?!). We "friended" each other on Facebook and have stayed in touch virtually.

Just a few days ago she reached out to me, in search of a "PR Guru." She has been given an absolutely life-changing opportunity and wants PR support to make the most of it. I said yes pretty much immediately after some (very quick) reflection. I don't take freelance PR work very often as I will only take on projects that I believe in 100% and get "jazzed" about pitching. I don't want to have to pitch something I'm not passionate about as it just doesn't feel authentic. I'm no spin doctor. (Oh yes, and I also have a full time job, a husband and two lovely munchkins to take care of. That too.)

The fact that I said "yes" should make it obvious that I believe in this woman and her work, and I am extremely passionate about contributing to her success. She is now a jewelry designer and she has been invited to have her pieces included in the VIP gift bags at this year's Academy Awards. (Hello? The OSCARS?!) She is completely deserving of this honour. Not only is her work absolutely stunning, but she is just the most lovely, loving person you could ever be lucky enough to meet. How could I say no?

I will share her name and website in a later post as we're working through some media agreements and can't let the "cat out of the bag" too early...a tough thing in the world of social media!

I was recently reminded of Oprah's quote "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." I've heard the same quote using the word "Success" instead of "Luck," but both ring true. I would like to add something to this quote though, as for me a large of of the "preparation" is the relationships you form along the way. My new "client" didn't reach out to me because of schooling or my resume, she reached out because we had connected in a way that let her know she could trust me with her best interests. She saw something in me and the way I work that spoke to her. And on the flip side, I said yes because she is such a fantastic, genuine person. If she'd been a nasty person with lovely jewelry and the same opportunity, I wouldn't have agreed to work with her!

I truly marvel at life sometimes. You never know who will end up being a significant influence in your life, even years down the road. A good reminder to be true to yourself and to never burn bridges, as you never know what is just around the bend!

Just When I Thought I Had All The Answers...

2011-01-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

...They changed the questions.

I really don't know what to think of the new Weight Watchers PointsPlus program. It was launched in Canada after I had become a Lifetime member and I now go to meetings once a month to weigh in. Yesterday was the first meeting I'd been to since it was introduced. I've heard the basics from friends and know most of the key differences, but I haven't switched over yet.

Truth be told, I'm not actively tracking my points now, I'm just eating mindfully. I spent a year learning what my average day looks like, what points values are in my regular foods and snacks, and I can get through a day easily staying within my points allowance.

So WHY should I change? The whole POINT of starting WW while on maternity leave and doing it for almost a year before going back to work was to get so ingrained in my new lifestyle that I would never have to think about it once back at work full time. I know my points, I know my body, I know how to manage both.

I now feel like I can't really attend a full meeting because I won't be speaking the same language as everyone else. All the snacking tips and tricks have changed, so anything I would have suggested as a great 2-point snack is probably something like four points on the new system and I'd be laughed out of the room! I truly believe that meetings help you be successful on the Weight Watchers program, and even though I only go once a month now, I feel like I'll be missing out.

Sure, there are some great things with the new Points Plus program. The free fruit is fantastic, and it does encourage people to choose healthier options for snacks, etc. A free banana would obviously be more attractive than that 4-point (I'm guessing) 100 calorie pack of Cheetos...most of the time. Some days the Cheetos are necessary.

But that's another thing (the whole "I'm guessing" comment). The previous WW points formula was fairly simple. You could use any variety of slider gizmo or online calculator to figure out the points value. It got to the point (no pun intended) that I could look at a nutritional label and (almost always) accurately predict the points value per serving. That's a handy ability when you're grocery shopping and your husband suggests a new item you've never tried before. You could know in seconds if it would be a reasonable choice or not. Now that's impossible, thanks to the completely convoluted formula that is so far beyond my math-hating brain's capabilities. Now you have to dig around in your purse for the WW points calculator, which you've HAD to purchase for $9.00CDN. Well, that's not entirely true. You don't have to purchase it if you're an online member and already paying for eTools. You can then access the Weight Watchers app on a smartphone and access the info that way. But still, you're paying.

Before I reached Lifetime I was on their Monthly Pass program, and it included eTools. eTools is not cheap at the best of times, so this was a screaming deal. What they don't tell you at the time is that once you reach Lifetime, you cancel your Monthly Pass and eTools disappears right along with it unless you start to pay. Shouldn't Lifetime members be REWARDED for their hard work with something like free online access, something more than a key chain? (Okay, I guess the new body, new lifestyle, etc are their own rewards. Rub my face in it, why don't you.)

The whole thing seems like a lot of work, EXACTLY the thinking I didn't want to have to do. I don't want to have to re-learn the program, the points, the way of life.

This was not meant to be a Weight Watchers-bashing post. I still believe in the program. It works and it's a healthy way to lose weight, probably even more so with the new system. If I was starting WW today I would be totally excited by all the new books, calculators, snack ideas, etc. But I do feel a little hung out to dry as a Lifetime member. Even the PointsPlus Pocket Guide for Lifetime Members I was handed yesterday doesn't address how the new program will affect those on maintenance that have already succeeded. Even a one-pager on the transition targeted at Lifetime members might have been helpful.

So far I'm holding fast and steady at around 2.5lbs BELOW my goal weight, so for now, I'm good. Even at this post-Christmas weigh-in I was down 0.2lbs, so my system is working for me. I'm going to stick with the program I learned and know inside and out. If I run into challenges and start to see the scale creeping skyward, then I will look at learning PointsPlus.

I do feel a bit like I've been kicked out of a club and the only way to get back in is to go through a massive initiation ritual, but I can deal with those insecurities. I won't bow down to peer pressure! I have to do what's right for me.

10 Simple Changes

2011-01-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

I was recently contacted by Choices Markets and asked to share their new "New Year, New You" feature with my readers. They have a full 10 week nutrition makeover available, but for the purposes of this blog I chose to share the "10 Simple Changes" feature. It's got some great info and you can check out www.choicesmarket.com/nutrition for more resources. The best part is, it's FREE!

Hope you enjoy their tips, and please let me know what you think!

New Year, New You 2011 Feature

Top 10 Simple Changes to Instantly Improve your Diet

Desiree Nielsen RD, The Choices Dietitian

It’s resolution time again…whether your goal for the New Year is to lose weight, learn to sail or finally get that promotion, your body is the vehicle for all of your ambitions. So how are you fueling that body? Busy lives can leave nutrition on the back burner, as we mistakenly think that any food that fills our belly will help us get to the finish line. If you find yourself constantly relying on takeout and “instant” meals, soon you’ll be running on empty. Good food is the foundation of good health and a healthy body has the energy to help you achieve all that you want out of life.

Desiree Nielsen RD, the Choices Dietitian, has created this list of 10 simple changes you can make to improve your diet instantly, without restrictive diets or complex menus. Try making one change at a time and stick with it until it becomes an effortless part of your life. Or join us in our 10 week nutrition makeover, starting January 3^rd, using the changes described below.

Choices Nutrition Team will be offering informative seminars throughout the month of January and personalized nutrition consultations by donation in Vancouver, White Rock and Kelowna to help you get a jump start on the New Year. Look for more helpful resources in store and detailed tips to help you make the changes at www.choicesmarket.com/nutrition.

1. Eat a better breakfast

Why make the change? Remember that old adage, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”? Now we have research to prove it: research presented by Dr. Daniela Jakubowicz and her team in 2008 showed that eating a large 600 calorie breakfast every morning helped dieters lose more weight than the typical light diet fare. The ideal breakfast should contain a balance of protein, fibre and slowly digested carbohydrates to keep you going all morning long. What makes this breakfast so special? A hefty dose of protein, combined with quality carbohydrates, helps to control blood sugar rise so you feel energized all morning long. While more research is needed to confirm the findings, big breakfast eaters in the study reported feeling less hunger and fewer cravings throughout the day even when on a low calorie eating plan. Find breakfast ideas at www.choicesmarkets.com/nutrition.

2. Eat ¾ cup plain probiotic yogurt daily

Why make the change? Plain probiotic yogurt contains live bacterial cultures that help to promote a healthy intestinal flora. Billions of bacteria live in our colons; healthy ones promote a healthy gut barrier and produce beneficial compounds like vitamin K. Unhealthy critters, often the result of a highly processed diet and stress filled lifestyle, can wreak inflammatory havoc and cause GI upset. Good old fashioned plain yogurt contains beneficial probiotic cultures in addition to calcium, magnesium and protein…more of what we need everyday! Don’t like the taste of plain yogurt? Sweeten yourself with a little fruit or honey.

3. Don’t drink your calories

Why make the change? Never before in our history have we designed so many ways to drink ourselves fatter. Consumption of sweetened beverages has increased dramatically since the 1970’s: according to data published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, the percentage of calories consumed from drinks increased by more than 50% while calories from soft drinks and fruit drinks alone increased 135%. All of those calories can lead to weight gain over time as research shows that we do not compensate for the calories we drink by eating less later on. Instead of cutting back on meal portions, cut calories the smart way by eliminating them from your drinks. You will likely save yourself a great deal of sugar in the process: a large Double Double will set you back 230 calories and 6 tsp of sugar (making the occasional cookie seem like less of a splurge!). Your best hydration choices? Plain water, coffee and tea with milk or soda with a splash of juice.

4. Eat a piece of fruit with each meal

Why make the change? Many of us are still not reaching the recommended goal of 7-10 servings of fruits and veggies each day, even though the evidence on the health benefits of produce consumption is overwhelming. So instead of radically changing the meals you make, why not try something simple? Finish each of your three meals a day with a piece of fruit. Fruit is quick to prepare…just rinse and eat, no chopping required! Here’s the key to success this week: if you don’t put it in your cart…it won’t end up in your stomach! 3 pieces of fruit a day means buying 21 pieces of fruit per person during your weekly shopping trip. So stock up and enjoy…

5. Keep an instant salad in the fridge

Why make the change? Sometimes, you just really want macaroni and cheese…no problem! Just don’t forget to fit in some veggies! Add a container of baby spinach and a container of cherry tomatoes to your weekly shopping list and make sure that you use them…at least a couple of times a week! With just these two items, you can add a side salad to any meal in 60 seconds flat. Spinach boasts the most nutrition of all the salad greens: antioxidant rich, spinach also contains the most iron of the greens with fewer phytates to block absorption. Spinach also contains folate for DNA repair and lutein to protect your eyes. Toss on a handful of cherry tomatoes for vitamin C to help boost iron absorption and provide chlorogenic acid, a compound which helps prime your body’s natural detox system.

6. Eat your Beans

Why make the change? Oft neglected, beans are the healthiest food you aren’t currently eating. Very high in fibre, beans contain an average of 10 grams of fibre per ¾ cup serving. That is a quarter of a man’s daily recommended fibre intake and more than a third for a woman. This fibre not only helps you to feel full and satisfied as you eat; in combination with the slowly digested carbohydrates found in beans, fibre also helps slow down the rate at which blood sugars rise, reducing your urge to snack and helping you to maintain a healthy weight naturally. Beans are also a great source of vegetarian protein, good for you and the environment. As if that weren’t enough, beans offer a variety of important nutrients such as iron, magnesium, potassium and folate. Try to eat beans 3 times a week; see www.choicesmarket.com/nutrition for meal and snack ideas with beans.

7. Try an Oil Change

Why make this change? The fats we eat directly influence our health by altering our blood cholesterol, influencing inflammation and nourishing our skin and other tissues. Saturated and trans fats from animal foods and processed snack foods directly promote chronic inflammation, which can accelerate premature aging and increase risk of chronic disease. In addition, data published from the Omni Heart Study revealed that eating a moderate amount of healthy monounsaturated fat in place of more processed carbohydrate choices can lower our risk for heart disease over time. This week, clear out your pantry of less healthy oils and stock up on healthy sources of fats to enjoy: use extra virgin olive oil as your primary cooking oil. Consider taking fish oils daily for their EPA and DHA, two anti-inflammatory omega 3 fats and enjoy healthy food sources of fats such as raw nuts, seeds and avocado regularly.

8. Go Nuts

Why make this change? Nuts are a great daily addition to any diet and a smart replacement to more carbohydrate based snacks like granola bars and crackers. Nuts provide monounsaturated fats, protein, fibre and plenty of trace minerals. Looking for heart healthy foods? Nuts are rich in magnesium, potassium and B vitamins to protect your ticker. Need a little iron boost? Cashews and Almonds stand out. Almonds are superstars for their vitamin E, fibre and protein; just 2 Brazil nuts will supply a cancer fighting dose of antioxidant selenium and walnuts deliver anti-inflammatory omega 3 fats. Nuts are energy rich, so portion control is key: choose your favourites and enjoy a ¼ cup daily.

9. Swap your Bread for Sprouted Grain

Why make this change? By far, switching to sprouted grain bread and tortillas is one of the easiest ways to boost your fibre intake and help control blood sugars. Many people are familiar with 100% whole grain breads, but all are not created equal! When you see the term “sprouted grain”, it means that the wheat was not ground into a fine flour before making the bread; instead, the grains are sprouted and crushed. The main advantage of this technique is an average of 5 grams of fibre and 5 grams of protein per slice, versus 1.5 - 2 grams of fibre in most whole wheat breads. Have a sandwich for lunch every day? You now just more than doubled your fibre intake simply by swapping your bread! Sprouted grain breads are more filling, will produce a slower rise in blood sugar and help you control your weight.

10. Cook Something New

Why make this change? We are becoming a nation of take out dialers and instant food assemblers. But if you can boil water, you can make yourself a simple, healthy meal in less time than it takes to stand in line for pizza. As an added bonus, you will save money and may even trim your waistline! The average restaurant or quick service meal contains more salt, fat and calories than the same food made at home. March is National Nutrition Month® and our mission is to get Canadian families cooking. This week, try one new recipe from a cookbook, magazine or the internet…that’s all there is to it! If you enjoy the process, why not make it a weekly event?

Desiree Nielsen RD - The Choices Dietitian

Desiree Nielsen, BSc RD received her degree in Food Nutrition and Health (Dietetics major) with honours from the University of British Columbia and completed her dietetic internship with Capital Health in Edmonton, Alberta. Registered with the BC College of Dietitians, Desiree is also a proud member of Dietitians of Canada.

Desiree advocates that good food is the cornerstone of a lifestyle that prevents chronic disease and promotes energy, vitality and overall wellbeing. Maintaining a commitment to evidence-based nutrition, Desiree’s practice also respects traditional knowledge and beliefs. To her, food is more than the nutrition it provides it is a vital part of our culture, our celebrations and our lives.

Desiree is a sought after speaker on a wide range of topics: from eating for a healthier body and planet to fighting chronic disease, Desiree’s positive “real world” approach to healthy eating is informative, motivating and practical. She delivers regular seminars to public and corporate groups on behalf of Choices Markets. Desiree is a member of the professional advisory board for the Vancouver Chapter of the Canadian Celiac Association. Desiree is currently featured on Dietitians of Canada’s website at www.dietitians.ca as a leader in nutrition and business. Recent media appearances include CTV Your Health, Breakfast Television, CBC Radio and CKNW Radio. Desiree’s love of food extends well beyond her work: she enjoys strolling through farmer’s markets, hoarding cookbooks and one day hopes to become an expert patio gardener. Working with Choices provides Desiree with the opportunity to do what she loves most: sharing her passion for food and living well with the community.

ME time?! What the hell is that?!

2011-01-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

I've written before about the importance of getting away with your spouse for a few days. It's fabulous and I could write more, but this post is about getting away from your spouse for a few days.

I've been on a few work trips since becoming a mom, but any time we go away for "leisure" time it's always been either as a family or just the two of us. I'd gotten over the guilt of leaving the kids, but hanging out with Mr. Awesome is one of my favourite things to do so I couldn't wrap my head around going away without him.

Until a couple of months ago. My friends and I got ourselves tickets to the So You Think You Can Dance live tour in Tacoma. Like any self-respecting 35 year old, I was secretly giddy with excitement. (The "secretly" part is how I claim to still be self-respecting. Guess that pipe dream is over.) Tacoma is about a 3.5 hour drive south from Vancouver and takes us right past the Premium Outlets in Tulalip, several Targets and a number of Costcos. Shopping AND SYTYCD?! It was almost too much.

We were on the hunt for a reasonably-priced hotel room, and at first search we were faced with the typical chain options that would have been (fairly) clean and pretty standard. I then came across Hotel Murano. Part of the Provenance Hotels boutique hotel group, it is like something out of Sex in the City. They offer special rates for their Twitter followers, so we landed two great rooms for $99 per room! For anywhere really, let alone little old Tacoma, this place is pretty swanky (nothing against Tacoma, of course).

Almost as soon as we'd arrived, each room received a bottle of Voss water and an Asian pear. A lovely gesture that made me feel even more special on my family-free getaway. I could get used to housekeeping and luxury treats delivered to my door!

The hotel was everything we hoped it would be, with one somewhat notable exception. The restaurant, BITE, had some pretty serious service issues that night, both in the kitchen (timing and understaffing) and on the service floor (completely avoiding the guests when the food took almost an hour). The restaurant itself was lovely and when the food eventually arrived it was very good, but the whole experience was marred by the service and the fact that we had to devour our meals in minutes to get to the show on time.

Other than that, the hotel was great. The beds were DIVINE, exactly what I needed to enjoy a solo sleep. Although that still didn't stop me from waking up before 6:00am. I have the little man to thank for conditioning me for a 5:30am wake-up. I now wake-up even if he doesn't, which is usually a good thing as I have to get ready for work. But on a morning I had no responsibilities, it was a big pain in the ass. And be forewarned - downtown Tacoma only has ONE Starbucks that opens at 6:30am on a Sunday.

Backing up a bit - the show was everything we hoped it would be, in all its cheesy splendour, only made better by the numerous beverages consumed during the evening. I would argue that certain elements of the show were made way better by the drinks, namely the awful line delivery of some of the cast. These people should really stick to dancing, and thank goodness for the most part they do. The dancing was amazing.

Drinks were consumed, shopping was done, relaxation was...um...experienced. It was only one night but it was a great little getaway. And while I could certainly get used to housekeeping and room service, I was very happy to get back to my little family.

I will, however, be doing another getaway in the near future. It's good for the soul to take some time that's just for you. I'm lucky Mr. Awesome thinks so too or we might have a problem. As long as I don't go for too long he seems to be okay with the idea. I think he sees it as a challenge to manage the household on his own. And amazingly, dishes and laundry do actually get done. The three of them may never change out of their pajamas, but the chores get done.

It's all about priorities.

One Year And Three Days Ago

2010-12-30T10:27:00.000-08:00

One year and three days ago I signed up for a membership at my local rec centre. December 27. And one year and 12 days ago I joined Weight Watchers. A lot has happened in the last year and twelve days.

I knew when I joined Weight Watchers I would have to commit to making a lifestyle change, a comprehensive transformation of mind and body. I didn't fully know what that would look like, but it was an innate understanding that would make this time around different.

And different it was. One year and twelve days later I am a very different person.

I don't think twice about choosing active activities with my family. (We're going snowshoeing tomorrow!)I take the stairs whenever I can.
I don't worry about parking close to the mall, store, etc.
I can play and rough house with my kids anytime and for as long as they want.
I LIKE going to the gym and I miss it when it's been a few days.
I have a very real awareness of my own body. I can predict down to the half pound what my weight is on any given day, good or bad.
I eat mindfully, even if I'm "mindful" of that fact that I had three treats in one day.
I can now cook more than just pasta and sauce.
I no longer feel like a hypocrite at my job when messaging to women about healthy living and maintaining a healthy body weight.
I like myself more than I ever did before.
I am happier.

And that's just the stuff I can list right now. There are small, indescribable changes that I realize every day. I now recognize choices I would have made before, and how those choices ultimately contributed to me reaching 230lbs. Little things like helping myself to a free sandwich in the office kitchen even though I'd already eaten lunch. I wouldn't have thought twice about that just over a year ago.

2010 has been an absolutely amazing year for me and for our family. I had a good portion of the year off to spend with them and although the little man is STILL not fully potty trained and may not be before his seventeenth birthday, there were other significant milestones achieved by us all. Not to mention I began blogging!

As this year draws to a close tomorrow and another one begins, I wish you the very best for the year to come. Thank you for reading, thank you for your comments, and I'll see you in 2011!

They're Just Waiting For You To Relax

2010-12-29T07:42:00.000-08:00

The human body is a truly remarkable machine. The very process of procreating and childbirth is enough to boggle the mind, but what really amazes me is its ability to go on in the face of stress and adversity.

You could be going through the most stressful season at work, dealing with a serious illness or death in the family, or some other incredibly trying experience, and your body will keep plugging away to get you through it, fighting off the bugs and viruses attempting to attack you at every turn.

It's when you take a moment to reflect or relax that those insidious little germs will get you. You rest just for a minute and WHAM! you've been struck down with the worst cold/flu/bronchitis/gout/plague/etc ever.

My father in law (Opa Awesome) has worked in the music industry for 30+ years. Christmas is his busiest time of the year and every single year for the past 30 years he's come down with a cold immediately after the last shipment has left the warehouse, right in time for Christmas vacation. He's retiring this year and Oma Awesome recently exclaimed "No more Christmas colds!" She can already envision November 2011, completely devoid of stress and the first December in years completely free from colds. (We'd better make sure not to send our preschool petri dish kids for a visit or the stress and sickness might return.)

What is it that keeps us going through the stressful times? Sheer adrenaline? Something else? Can't they bottle it and create a cure-all for whatever ails us?

Dear scientists: For the thousands of you that make my blog part of your regular reading routine, please take this suggestion under serious advisement.

There. That should do it. Stay tuned for a groundbreaking announcement from the world of science.

Bad Mommy Moment

2010-12-13T06:58:00.000-08:00

I think I may have scarred my son for life. I MAY have inadvertently given him a crippling fear of birds.

We set up our Christmas tree last week and on it I placed an ornament that has been on our family tree since I was about six years old. It's a silver ball with a switch on it, that when switched on makes an extremely repetitive bird chirping noise. It just chirps the same note forever or until switched off again. What ornament designer thought this was a good idea I will never know, and it's pure nostalgia that makes me drag it out and hang it up year after year. The fact that it has the SAME batteries it's had since it arrived in our home should explain just how little we actually turn the thing on.

So, like every year before, I hung up this ball and flicked the switch to hear the old ~~annoying~~ familiar song. The little man's face went deathly pale until I explained that it wasn't in fact a real bird, but an ornament that made a bird noise. It took a few minutes, but he eventually calmed down and accepted that there wasn't a real bird living in the tree.

This could have been the end of the story. He could have gone on to live his life quite normally, until we scarred him in some other, currently unforeseeable, way. But then he started whining.
And whining. And not listening. And I had a moment of mommy weakness.

I said "If you don't stop whining, I'm going to have to open that door and let a real bird fly in to live in this tree."

Okay, I admit, it was not my most shining moment in mommyhood. His eyes went as wide as saucers. And he stopped whining. And for two days any time he started to whine, all I had to do was look at him sideways and he would say "Mummy, no bird comes to live in our tree."

I didn't mention the bird again and it seems as if he's forgotten, so we may have averted the potential bird phobia and thousands of dollars in psychiatrist bills for the future.

Although it HAS been suggested that I might want to resurrect the bird threat to try and make some progress in the poop department...

The People Have Spoken

2010-12-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, not so much people as person. Kristy at Pampers and Pinot basically told me to get off my butt and blog again. She's right. I miss writing terribly, but life has kind of run away from me since I returned to work.

So, this will be a brief catch up and then I'm going to get to work on the posts that have been brewing in my brain over the last few weeks. I think Mr. Awesome will be much happier when I'm regularly blogging again, as I won't be bending his ear with my rants and rambles otherwise saved for my readers...lucky you.

I went back to work on October 18. I work at 7:30am, and due to my need to move fairly slowly in the morning and the fact that the little man is usually bright eyed and bushy tailed (read: whining and demanding a movie and Cheerios) by 6am, I actually have to get up at 5:30am to get everything done.

I usually get home by 5:15-ish, we get dinner ready, eat, then Mr. Awesome takes the little man and I take the little miss and we get them ready for bed. By the time they're both tucked in and finally quiet, Mr. Awesome slinks off to his office while I settle in to try and catch up on some of my recorded shows. This is typically around 8:15pm and by 8:30pm I'm out cold on the sofa. Sometimes I don't even make it that long, and start falling asleep while giving the little miss her pre-bed bottle of milk.

This has pretty much been my reality for the last eight weeks. Work is great and the kids are handling me being away pretty well, with the occasional "Mummy, you don't have to go work today" from my little mama's boy. I'm keeping on track with my eating and working out. The only thing really missing has been the blogging and I really DO miss it.

So. Here goes. I am going to try and blog once a week. I have to remind myself they don't all have to be brilliant. They don't have to meet some standard length. I feel better when I write, so as long as I write something that resonates for someone, I'm good. Even if that someone is just me.

I'm baaaaaaack.....

I'm Starting to Panic...

2010-11-13T07:01:00.000-08:00

When I set my Weight Watchers goal I intentionally set it with a bit of a cushion as I knew there could be a shift in the subsequent few months - I was weaning the little miss, going back to work, etc. I was fully prepared to gain a little bit back, while of course hoping that I would beat the odds and that wouldn't happen. I've been doing everything I can to avoid the "secretarial spread," a bum-enlarging condition my mum told me about years ago and an image that has stuck in my brain ever since. I've made it to gym at least once a week and have been doing early morning lunges, squats, crunches and free weights in my bathroom before getting in the shower. It's not an ideal workout schedule, but it's something. I've taken my lunch all but two days since returning to work, which is a MAJOR accomplishment for me.

I've now been back at work for four weeks. It's been "so far so good" for the last three and a half, with the scale not budging. In fact, I'd lost a couple more pounds and had to wear a jacket at my last Lifetime weigh-in to avoid paying the fee.

This past week was my 35th birthday. I went away on a girls' trip the weekend before and was pretty good food-wise, splurging a little but getting back on track the next day. Mr. Awesome took me out for lunch on Tuesday for my actual birthday, and we had Chinese take-out that night. The next night some girlfriends and I went out for dinner. All these instances are extremely out of the ordinary, and they ALL happened within one week.

A couple of weeks ago the little man was messing about with my iPhone and only the next day did I realize he had deleted my points tracker app, Nutrition Menu. And only when I tried to reload it did I realize that with the app he'd also deleted all my weight loss history and all the custom favourite food items I'd laboriously entered nutritional information for. I hadn't tracked for about a month as I was pretty much sticking to the same things most days, but I REALLY should have been tracking this past week.

For the last few days I've been feeling bloated and not as "trim" as I have for the past few months. Now, there is a good chance this could just be raging PMS, but there is also the very real possibility that the last week's indulgences have caught up with me. And the scale has crept up, getting dangerously close to my actual goal weight (gasp!). I'm starting to panic.

Needless to say, tracking begins today. I am retaking charge of my food. Yes, this could indeed be a nasty case of the monthly bloat, but it's been a big wake up call.

I have a three-night work retreat coming up this week and we're all taking turns cooking for the group. I know the lunch I'm in charge of is WW-friendly, but I've heard rumours of fondues, wifesaver, huevos rancheros... I think I'm going to have to bring my own food for certain meals or things will quickly spiral downhill even further. This weight loss journey is a lifetime commitment and I don't intend to let things get out of control. One woman in our group has some pretty serious allergies so I won't be the only one bringing in my own food. Maybe I can tell them I'm allergic to gaining the weight back. Oh, how I wish that was the case. Yes, if I gain the weight back I will puff up like I've had an allergic reaction to something, but an antihistemine pill won't bring me back down in a matter of minutes.

So, no magic pills for me. Tracking and exercise it is. Onwards.

10 At Home Exercises to Keep You Fit During the Holiday Season

2010-11-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

I was recently contacted by Jessica at Gym Source and she asked if she could share an article with my readers. She's compiled 10 easy exercises to do at home without any exercise equipment needed. With the cold weather and dark mornings coming in, I've been a bit worried about keeping up my routines, and Jessica's suggestions are great for those days I'd rather stay warm and dry then haul my butt to the gym!

10 At Home Exercises to Keep You Fit During the Holiday Season

Question: What's the best form of exercise?
Answer: The one you'll actually do!

As long as your fitness program:

Raises your heart rate
Has a strength training component
And is done at least thirty minutes a day five days a week – you'll experience significant health benefits.

Variety is the spice of life; it keeps you motivated and works better for your body by working different muscle groups. You don't need to go to a gym and use fitness equipment. In fact, here are ten simple, yet effective exercises you can do in the comfort of your own home that can help prevent putting on holiday weight.

Take a Hike/Stroll

It's also simple, low-impact and easy on the joints – just put on a comfortable pair of shoes, step outside and walk at a fairly brisk pace around your neighborhood. It's a great way to clear the head and improve your mood – it may be cold, but will give you an opportunity to enjoy all the lights and decorations for the holiday season.

Jump!

Act like your kids on Christmas morning! Jump up and down, or do some jumping jacks. They're a great way to get the heart pumping and the limbs loosened up. 15-20 repetitions with a minute or two of rest between sets for thirty minutes should be sufficient. This will increase endurance and work on toning your thighs.

"Drop and Give Me 20, Soldier!"

Push-ups confer all the same strength-training benefits of bench presses with barbells – without the risk of handling heavy weights and need for a "spotter." You can adjust the intensity by elevating your feet. Push-ups do more than work your arms, they are a total body workout Lift That Leg This provides a strength training workout for the thighs and adductors (muscles that attach the upper leg to the hip). If you can't manage leg lifts with a straight leg, bend the knee .

Washboard Abs?

You may not get "ripped" by doing crunches, but you'll definitely work your ab muscles – and this will award real benefits to your back as well, and you will see an improvement in toning your abs.

You Can Keep Running In Place...

...and you should. This is an exercise you can do while watching TV, making the "boob tube" actually good for something. You can also do it while stringing popcorn on the string for the tree. The Squatters... No, we don't mean settling land that isn't yours – it's what you do every time you sit in and get up from a chair. Just do it several times until you "feel the burn!"

Household Weight Equipment

Cans of food, milk and water jugs, sacks of flour – you'd be amazed at how much weight training equipment is just sitting in your pantry or refrigerator. (Who knew your could actually lose weight with using your holiday baking ingredients?

Roll Up The Carpet

The latest craze is dancing off the weight, but not all of us can get to the classes when they are offered and the videos cost more than Christmas. Instead roll up the carpet, and crack up the tunes, whether it's Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas" or whatever is on the radio, dancing will increase your aerobic hear rate, and help with endurance training.

Steppin' Up

Finally, you don't have to buy a bench step and sign up for a step class to do step. Chances are you've got a step or two around your home. So while those cookies are in the oven, run the stairs a few times. The timers will make great intervals and keep you fit while baking!

The fact of the matter is, that all of these are not difficult, and do not require patience, or a long drawn out explanation. They are simple and they WORK. So maybe you aren't getting fit on treadmills, or ellipticals, but the end result is the same and you will have a lot of extra cash to go and spend it on holiday gifts, or a treat for yourself!

Jessica Costello
Jessica is a writer with the outreach team at Gym Source. In addition to writing, she is also a personal trainer, working mainly with new moms looking to get fit after having their baby. Her specialties are fitness, and nutrition, and toning.

Arbonne: Skin Care's Best Kept Secret

2010-10-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people ask me to review products and if they're a good fit I will do it and give my honest opinion. Other times I just get so worked up about a product that I just HAVE to share. This is one of those times. This is an unsolicited review about a product line I have recently come to LOVE.

I worked so hard this past year on my fitness and my health that it only made sense I should also try and take better care of my skin. Let me introduce you to Arbonne skin care and cosmetics. I say "introduce" because I recently heard a stat that only 1% of women had ever heard of the brand. It's one of those love it or haven't heard of it companies. Once you've tried their products, you're a fan.

Their entire line is developed around three words: Pure. Safe. Beneficial. There is a lot of great stuff to say about the company, but I'll try and capture the things I value most for brevity's sake. You can check out more about the company here.

Arbonne products are Vegan certified, i.e. the formulas are never tested on animals and do not contain animal derived ingredients or animal by-products.

All the personal care products are made from premium botanical ingredients and formulated without animal products or animal by-products, formaldehyde donating preservatives, petroleum based ingredients, Benzene, mineral oil, petrolatum, phthalates, Toluene or PABA.

They have skin care for various age ranges, they have awesome baby care products, fantastic make-up, the Aromassentials line is to die for...I'll try and drill down to a few of my favourites but you really need to try it for yourself!

Given that next week I'm reaching the ripe old age of 35, the skin care line that best suits me is the RE9 Advanced...you know, for my advanced years. Age-related insecurities aside, this line is fantastic. The "system" includes a cleanser, toner, serum, eye cream, day cream and night cream. You don't HAVE to use the whole system - I don't use the serum as I am prone to rosacea and it is a bit strong - but the set was designed to work together. I tried to go frugal my first go around, only getting the cleanser and day cream, but my skin really does feel better now that I've worked in the toner and eye cream.

I've always been a bit of a make-up junkie. Motherhood slowed me down a bit with sleep-deprived nights and showerless days, but I still enjoy "putting on my face." Now that I'm back at work this is a daily necessity that has to happen bloody early in the morning, so I wanted to find a pretty easy routine. Enter tinted moisturizer. This stuff is the bee's knees. It way lighter than foundation so you don't look cakey, but still provides a nice evening out of any redness that might be lurking.

The tinted moisturizer does not, however, stand up to the formidable foes that are the dark circles under my eyes. Thank God for the Arbonne concealer. Even before kids, dark circles were always a problem. At least I can now blame children and not genetics, but they are mighty dark. I have tried pretty much every drug store brand concealer on the market, and the little buggers always managed to show through. The Arbonne concealer is the ONE product I have found that actually covers them, and doesn't make me feel like I'm spackling my tender under-eye area with...well, spackle.

To further banish any hint of a dark circle, I have come to love highlighter. This is something I had always seen Carmindy use on What Not to Wear, but had never tried. A little bit on the top of the cheek bone, along the brow line and just in the inside corners of the eyes and BAM! You're a bright and refreshed version of yourself and no one knows you were awakened at 3:45am by a screaming three year old having a night terror. This stuff is magic.

I could go on and on about the yummy Aromassentials line of shower gels, sea salt scrubs and lotions. It comes in Awaken and Unwind, and they are equally yummy.

To end my onslaught of love for all things Arbonne, they've recently launched their Holiday Line with new scents like Ginger Citrus and Pampermint. The best part is that they're offering mini gift sets, where you can buy five mini lotions or gels for $29. Perfect stocking stuffers...and hopefully the ladies in my family won't read this and know what's going to be in their stockings this year - the ultimate test of who's actually reading my blog!

Arbonne operates kind of like Mary Kay or Tupperware, with home parties and hostess gifts. If you're in the Vancouver/Lower Mainland area and want to host a ladies' spa party, my Arbonne rep Thyra would be happy to help you out! She's awesome and I always like supporting women with the entrepreneurial spirit. Their are gift for the hostess, hefty discounts, raffle prizes and yummy foot soaks for your guests...she makes it fun and it's a great excuse to get the girls together.

Once you've "drunk the Kool-Aid" and are hooked on Arbonne, they have a really simple online ordering system and the products get delivered right to your home within days.

It's dangerous, but it's divine. We all need a little pampering, right?

Super Mom isn't Home Right Now...

2010-10-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

Even though I wrote a post ages ago about how I'm NOT Super Mom and I regularly proclaim how there's no such thing and women need to be kinder to themselves, I still have this niggling little secret. I want to be Super Mom. Which is utter lunacy, because that means that somewhere deep down inside I actually believe it's possible. I still feel frustrated when I don't achieve all the things I wanted to, even if they were so far out of the realm of possibility that not even June Cleaver and a full time staff of nanny, housekeeper and gardener could have accomplished them.

So, I am forced once again to realize that I am NOT Super Mom. With one stipulation. I believe that it IS possible to be a Super Mom a little bit at a time, and on some fantastic, relaxing, my three-year-old-is-being-an-angel days, maybe even for a full 24 hours.

Another thing. Maybe we need to redefine our understanding of the word SUPER. Maybe "super" is your best on that given day. Maybe "super" is staying awake at bedtime and holding a conversation with your child when they've woken you up at 4am three days in a row. Maybe sometimes "super" just means not unleashing all your fury on the whiny kid that has just dropped the 812th pants bomb this year in his Lightning McQueen underpants when you JUST got up from the potty 30 seconds ago. "Super" is your best self in that moment. Super is taking 30 seconds to actually crouch down to your preschooler's level to talk to him and really let him know you're listening. Super is driving the extra thirteen blocks just to see the backhoe around the corner because you know it will make him happy.

Striving for Super Mom status goes to a whole new level when you're working. I started back to work this week and now I have the (very, thanks to the little man's inner alarm clock) early mornings and a short time in the evenings to cram any efforts at Super Momishness in. Plus weekends. I am very lucky and due to some longer hours each day and a shorter lunch break, I get Fridays off. It was only the first weekend of many on this new schedule, but I actually think I did pretty well.

Saturday was the little miss's first birthday. We threw a birthday/Halloween party for our closest friends and their offspring, if applicable. (Most of our friends without kids know to steer clear of these gatherings but a few braved the chaos and seemed to emerge fairly free of battle scars.) Because of the little man's sleep patterns, I was up at the ungodly hour of 5:30am. By the time the guests had arrived at 2pm I had baked, frosted and decorated cupcakes (NOT something I do on a regular basis), made hummus, cleaned the house, vacuumed, gone to the gym, done some last minute shopping, made caramel apples (with the caramel wraps, no "from scratch" caramel for this girl) and put up some more Halloween decorations. I do have to say that Mr. Awesome was particularly awesome as he was a big help in getting the place tidy, he chopped up the veggie platter and gave me some "me" time to get to the gym.

Not one to shy away from additional challenges, today I made soup (from scratch this time!) for lunch and to freeze for work, some baby food as our freezer stock was getting low, and a chicken pie for dinner. I even did some Halloween crafts with the little man. But wait.

I was feeling pretty good about my proximity to Super Mom status when the little man filled his shorts. Again. I did not handle it well. I didn't scream or yell or anything, but let's just say I could have handled the situation better than I did. I am JUST. SO. TIRED. OF. POO. We have been at this potty training thing for so long and there's no discernible light at the end of the tunnel. It's just messy underwear as far as the eye can see.

So, like I was saying, Super Mom status is something that comes and goes. For a brief time this morning I think I got there.

Maybe I can get there again for a little while tomorrow.

A Surprising Realization and a Business Idea

2010-10-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I had to do something that surprised me. I withdrew my application to be a Weight Watchers leader.

Being a leader was something I had been planning since I started Weight Watchers last December. I had spoken to my own leader about it a couple of times, and once I hit Lifetime I took in my resume and she passed it along to the Territory Manager. Last Friday I had my interview and it went perfectly. Halfway through the meeting I was signed up for the training weekend and we were discussing potential meeting times. It really couldn't have gone better.

At one point she mentioned in passing that if I were to be away for a weekend or have to miss a meeting, it was my responsibility to find a replacement. A totally fair expectation and it makes perfect sense. But it stuck in the back of my brain and started to bug me.

It really hit me the commitment I would be making, not just to Weight Watchers but to the members in my meetings. Losing weight can be an emotional journey. There are ups and downs, celebrations and frustrations. When you join Weight Watchers, your meetings leader becomes a big part of that. You develop a relationship with your leader and they provide support and advice if you need it. I take that relationship pretty seriously, and hate the idea that one of "my" members would need me one week and I wouldn't be there. I'm sure that any replacement leader would be fabulous, but they wouldn't know the struggles or successes that member had experienced along the way. What if I missed a member reaching his or her goal? Maybe I am taking this a little TOO seriously, but that's a big deal!

Tied into that is the fact that our family does like to take off on little getaways every now and then. Mr. Awesome works for himself so it affords us a bit of flexibility and we love it. We like the ability to decide Wednesday night that we're heading up to the Okanagan on Friday afternoon. Any spontaneity would have to disappear or I would be frantically calling fill-in leaders anytime we wanted to get away. Plus the guilt I would invariably feel for "abandoning" my members would be so strong I wouldn't have any fun!

I am SO passionate about the program and believe I would be a fantastic ambassador for the company. It just so happens that the timing isn't right to make it all work for my family and our lifestyle. It's disappointing but a reality I will have to accept.

In my head I have created the perfect Weight Watchers role. I want to be a part-time Weight Watchers consultant. I want the training they provide the leaders so I know I'm armed with the best information and representing the company properly, but I want to help people on my own time. In the past few months I've had a few people contact me to chat about Weight Watchers. I've written emails with my best tips for success, I've had coffee with people to chat about ways to get past plateaus, I've had phone calls with friends to chat about the program and how I made it work for me. I LOVE doing this. I wish there was a job that allowed me to do this more regularly. I could meet people at the gym, for coffee, for walks, or just email or chat about the program and hurdles they might be facing. I love the idea of motivating people and inspiring them, helping to get to somewhere they want to be.

I'm not a personal trainer or nutritionist so I am in no way qualified to give "real" advice, but I do think I have something to offer when it comes to lifestyle tips to do with fitness and weight loss. Is there a certification program out there for this?! I have a couple of friends that are studying to become Life Coaches. I don't think I want to go that far, but what would call someone you just talk to about your weight loss journey that helps you brainstorm ideas for success? Ummm... a friend?

So, for now, I am not going to be a Weight Watchers leader. But if you ever just want to chat or go for coffee, I'm your girl. Well, I have to be honest. I'm actually going to order a Grande Nonfat Chai Tea Latte, but we can still sit together. :)

How Much Does It Cost to Save the World?

2010-10-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

We recycle. We use energy efficient lightbulbs. I use a manual lawn mower. We have cut parabens out of our lives. We use environmentally-friendly cleaning products. I make 95% of the little miss' baby food. I make my own deodorant, for Pete's sake.

While I'm by no means a goddess of environmental responsibilty, I do try to make smart decisions for our family. I emphasize TRY. Yes, we could live off the grid using no power, making and growing all our own food, drinking well water and making our own clothes out of cotton we pick and weave ourselves. That may work for 90's fitness maven Susan Powter, but it's just not for me.

I don't even buy organic on a regular basis (insert audible gasp). A few items here and there, but not all the time. I would love to buy all my fruits and veggies locally at a farmer's market, but sometimes the large corporate grocery store is just a lot more convenient. Sue me.

I'll be perfectly honest. It is a constant battle in my mind between cost, convenience and impact. Does the cost outweigh the environmental guilt? When it comes to health it's almost always no contest and I will pay the extra. The problem there is I'm pretty uninformed when it comes to most health risks - except for cancer. Given my employer I'm pretty up to speed on the cancer causing ingredients out there, hence the removal of parabens from our home.

Then again, there is something wrong with EVERYTHING on the grocery store shelves when you really start looking, whether the research is reliable or not. Is it certified organic or does it just say "natural" on the label? "All natural colouring" could mean it includes that red colour made from crushed up beetles. YUCK. But how do you know? And where do you draw the line?

I was recently asked to review diapers from Seventh Generation. I was familiar with the brand and their environmentally-responsible products, but have to admit I had never purchased any of them before because of price point. I'm sure ALL of their products are amazing, but unfortunately there are competing products making almost as good claims sitting right next to them on the shelf and they're half the price.

I was very curious about the diapers, however, as that's a pretty hot topic in my circle of friends. Cloth vs. disposables, the new hybrid variety like G Diapers, diaper services, the laundry, the landfills... I've done some research and given the resources used to launder cloth diapers I'm not 100% convinced there is really that much to choose between them. Where I do see a diference is between "regular" disposables and something like Seventh Generation. If we ARE going to use diapers that end up in a landfill, isn't it better to use something that is hypoallergenic, chlorine free, fragrance and latex free? Absolutely.

We tried them and were very impressed. I have this skeptical little voice inside of me that is sure these "natural" brands won't work as well. We have used Costco's Kirkland brand (do I hear another gasp?) since the little man was born and we've never had an issue. We tried the odd Pampers, Huggies, etc, but always had the best success in terms of no leakage, etc with the Kirkland brand. Seventh Generation was facing some pretty tough competition. They actually stood up very well, I have to admit. Good absorption, good containment, good fit. The only fault we found with them was the little tabs were a little harder to open in a quick change situation than their Kirkland counterparts. Definitely something I would suck up in order to have diapers that were better for my baby and the environment.

There's just one catch. They retail for between $15.99 and $18.99 per pack of 35. That's approximately 50 cents per diaper. Costco diapers come in at around 20 cents per diaper. A baby will use somewhere in the neighbourhood of 8,000 diapers over his or her lifetime, so that cost difference equals about $2,400. That's pretty significant to go from one disposable to another. Given that the most diapers are used in that first year of your baby's life, and that for most Canadian moms they're on mat leave at 55% of their income already, it makes it hard to pay over 50% more for something you throw away.

Where do you draw the line at what's worth the extra cost and what's not? If we had masses of disposable income and money was never an issue, I would absolutely pay the extra and use Seventh Generation diapers. They work really well and my conscience would be clearer. Unfortunately we're not in that magical place, so I will have to live with a guilty conscience and cheaper diapers. For now.

A Will of Iron: The Little Miss Revealed

2010-10-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

We are so totally screwed. The little miss is a twelve year old in a one year old's body - she's a drama queen that can weep and sob with the best of them, and she's as stubborn as a mule.

She actually doesn't "cry" that often. The drama queen makes an appearance if the little man has pushed her, or if she doesn't get the attention she feels she deserves at a specific moment. Other than that, it can't really be described as crying. Yelling is the only way to describe it. And this kid is LOUD.

For the first six months I really didn't talk about her very much, let alone write about her. She slept well, she had a lovely disposition and she was the exact opposite of the whiny pooping monster in the next room. I was afraid if I talked about her it would jinx things and she would change. She hasn't changed per se, but her personality is coming out loud and clear. And this girl has some at-ti-tude.

90% of the day she's a fantastic baby, laughing a lot, rarely complaining. But when she's tired or hungry she gets downright ornery. Our friends have taken to calling her "Ida," conjuring the image of a little old lady sitting in her rocking chair yelling for people to bring her things in a voice developed over years of cigarettes and whisky, loud enough so she can hear herself over her failing hearing aid.

Even with standard menu of whining, crying, pooping, and tantrums that coming with living with a three year old, the little man has always been fairly manageable. I now know that the three-year old hell we experience with him is completely normal and in most cases we've gotten off fairly easy. We sleep trained him within a few nights and there was never any doubt that when he was left to cry he would eventually settle himself and go to sleep.

Compared to a lot of babies the little miss still is a really great sleeper, but every few nights "Ida" pays us a visit. And since we're not prone to handing over whisky and cigarettes, she's mad as hell. Where the little man would cry and then settle himself within half an hour after we've popped our heads in a couple of times, Ida will yell forever. And if we go in, it's worse. She's not even really crying, she's just mad. She's fed, she's changed, she's warm enough, she just doesn't want to be in her bed. The second I go in she stops yelling and starts smiling. And then the second I make a move to leave, the yelling starts again. Last night she yelled for over an hour and a half between 2:30am and 4:30am.

It's a good thing she's our second child. We at least had some practice before Ida moved in. We became good at tuning out the crying during sleep training, but this yelling is taking things to a whole new level. The little miss turns one on October 23rd. I'm hoping by then Ida settles in nicely at her retirement home and our little girl can just be one for a while.

Deadlines, Deadlines...

2010-10-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

I go back to work in 12 days.

I'm not going away, I'm not changing jobs, I'm not moving houses, but for some reason I feel this deadline looming. I feel this enormous pressure to get a huge laundry list of things done before I return to work.

My continuously growing list includes everything from getting my hair coloured to planting yew trees in our front yard. Making the little miss' Halloween costume, renewing the little man's passport, fixing the fireplace draft blocker so it stays in place... Some of the things on my list have "real" deadlines, like the newspaper article I'm writing or October 31 for that darned Halloween costume. Most of the items on my list have no deadline at all, like "put fuzzy feet on the cedar trunk" so the floors don't get damaged. That, my friends, is a time-sensitive list item if I ever heard one.

It's a bit ridiculous. I will still have evenings, weekends and I even have Fridays off through an arrangement with work. Plenty of time to get things done. So why, WHY is it imperative that I "return bottle steamer to Dana" when I haven't used it since the little man was an infant three years ago and she's not even expecting a baby?! It's been in our closet since we moved two years ago and she hasn't even asked about it once. Not exactly a high priority but it's on my list of things to complete.

It's like every single outstanding detail in our lives must get done by Monday, October 18. I've always worked better with a deadline, so I suppose I am using that date as a marker to get as many of these outstanding details as possible taken care of. Will the world end if I don't get everything done? No. I am causing myself stress for absolutely no good reason.

Well, actually, I shouldn't say NO good reason. Two good things will come from my obsessive, controlling behaviour. I will have taken care of a hell of a lot of nagging items, leaving more time on my weekends and days off for my family. Second, this list and the systematic crossing off of completed items has slowly been preparing me for the return to work. Apart from the enforced routine of preschool days and soccer or swimming lessons, the past year has been pretty free of non-housework "to dos." I need some practice before I'm back at a desk!

Having this list gives me some direction for the next 12 days. I can make sure I'm using my time wisely, so I actually get stuff done while still making the most of my last days of leave with the munchkins.

Call it mommy guilt, call me a control freak, you're absolutely right.

I'm a Yummy Mummy!

2010-09-26T19:25:00.001-07:00

I'm published! I feel so official.

I recently submitted an article to Yummy Mummy Club about breast health and breast cancer awareness. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month so the timing was perfect, and lo and behold they liked it. I've been nervously checking every day and there it was this evening in all its glory.

Check out the article here and please let me know what you think. It's a topic that I'm pretty passionate about and I'd love your feedback (she says, sweating profusely).

Thanks!

Gillian

How Time Flies

2010-09-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

The little miss was born 337 days ago. We are exactly four weeks away from her first birthday and just over three weeks from my return to work. I cannot believe it's been almost a year.

This has definitely been one of the most challenging and one of the best years of my life. It was important to us that I take the opportunity to have a full year with the kids. I returned to work early last time because I started a new job, and as we're not having any more kids this was basically the last time I would get this chance. It's been tight financially but we've made it work. Mr. Awesome is pretty much foaming at the mouth to have me back at full salary again but it's been worth it.

Back in May I wrote about some goals I wanted to accomplish by the time I returned to work. Some have been achieved and some seemed to have dropped into the black hole of time. Here is a brief update on my progress:

Reach my goal weight. YES! I reached my goal weight of 160lbs on Friday, July 30. I became a Weight Watchers lifetime member on Friday, September 10.
Take a self defense class. Nope. I'm still a wuss and haven't signed up for this yet.
Run (jog) a 5K. Next week! The jogging training hasn't quite manifested as I'd hoped so I will be jogging/walking the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure next Sunday. Only 8 days to go!
Raise $500 for the Run for the Cure. YAY!! I've actually raised $725!
Potty train the little man. HA! We are still fighting an uphill battle with the pants bombs, but pee is under control most of the time. MOST of the time.
Try a kick-boxing class. Nope. I still want to and I'm still petrified.
Get back into indoor rock climbing. Nope. We will do this at some point but haven't yet.
Take a first aid class. Nope. I really need to do this.
Take a finance course. Nope. Budgets beware.
Paint the house and window trim. Yes. This one we actually accomplished in early August. There's probably a blog post in there somewhere about the trials and tribulations of colour selection, but it's done and it looks nice.

I also made a list of things I would like to do that had no particular deadline. Only one item on the list has any update to speak of, although #1 (Try curling) may indeed happen this fall.

4. Become a Weight Watchers leader. I have applied but have yet to hear back from the regional manager. At least I've taken the first step.

A WORK IN PROGRESS

Not only have I had a full year with my kids and my husband, but I've also had a full year with myself. I've learned a lot and I've changed a lot. The physical changes are obvious having lost 70lbs, but I've changed in other ways as well. Here they are, in no particular order:

I'm a better mother.
I'm a better cook.
I'm a better writer.
I like myself more.
I am proud of my body.
Exercise is a part of my life.
I'm willing to take risks.
I believe in myself.

There are still endless things I want to work on and that I will continue to work on, but I feel I'm headed back to work in a very good place. I'm still a work in progress and always will be, but I have a much clearer sense of who I am, good and bad.

I wouldn't trade this year for the world. I would gladly trade some of the poop, but on the whole it's been fantastic.

And now back to the monstrous list of to dos I need to accomplish before October 18. First item on the list for tonight: Bedtime.

The Secrets to My Success - The Good, The Bad, The Neurotic

2010-09-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I officially became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers. Woo hoo! Since my first weigh-in last December I've lost 67lbs, and I've gained a whole new life. Literally, a lifetime.

For the last few months people have been asking me for tips, what's worked for me, how I work out, etc. So I decided to share the highlights here - the good, the neurotic and the ridiculous. I will try and keep it brief but brevity has never been my strong suit. I'll aim for bullet points and see where we get. Please bear in mind these are things that worked for ME and may or may not work for you.

HIGHLIGHTS: What did I do that worked?

I never treated it like a diet. It has truly been a change in my way of eating, thinking and living.
I track using an iPhone app called Nutrition Menu. At the time WW eTools was pretty pricey and at $0.99 you couldn't really beat Nutrition Menu. It also came complete with a massive food database right in the app, meaning you didn't need WiFi or cell service to access points values. This also meant that I could use it with the iPod Touch... before I dropped it in the toilet and moved up to the iPhone. I wasn't into the little foldy tracker they give you at WW and the eTools app wasn't available in Canada so Nutrition Menu was my saviour.
I go to Weight Watchers meetings. Not every meeting by any means. Before hitting Lifetime I went and weighed in every week, but to be perfectly honest I only stayed for about 30% of the meetings - usually if I needed a boost or if I knew I was going to get some sort of reward, like a gold star, a keychain charm, etc. The public recognition definitely helped!
Speaking of recognition, another thing that worked (for me) was making it public. I blogged (obviously), I tweeted, and then I took it into my personal realm of Facebook. I talk to my friends about it and explain my food choices at restaurants, parties, etc.
In the same vein, I went online. I followed people on Twitter that I found through the #weightwatchers hash tag. I got into online conversations about weight loss and I read the blogs of people going through similar journeys. It really helped to know I was not alone.
I started cooking. I was never a chef by any stretch of the imagination but being the control freak I am, I had to start doing most of the cooking in our house to make sure I knew the points values.
I plan ahead. If we were going to be out for a meal I would use Nutrition Menu and figure out what I was going to have. It's got a huge list of restaurants in the database and if something wasn't in there I could usually guesstimate or look it up online. Once I'd decided what I would be eating I didn't change the plan and get swayed to something that sounded delicious but cost me more points.
I schedule my exercise. I make plans and stick to them. During the last school year I dropped the little man off at preschool on Mondays and Wednesdays and then went to the gym while he was there. On Fridays I go right after Weight Watchers. These were concrete times that I didn't change, and if I got an additional workout in during the week, great, but I knew I had three guaranteed. This schedule will obviously change when I go back to work next month, but I have already planned it so I know I'll still have three good workouts every week.
I change up my exercise. Yes, I have a standard routine that I do most days, but I'll throw in a walk or a swim here and there to keep things interesting.
I watch Biggest Loser. I'm not even kidding. It really does help motivate me. If they can do it, so can I. When I'm on the treadmill I can just hear Bob Harper yelling at me if I even THINK about putting my hands on the handles!
I made a fantastic workout mix. There are certain songs that just make me work harder, no matter what. I've changed it up a bit over the months, but The Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" and "When Love Takes Over" by David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland are still motivating me nine months later.

FOOD: Some specifics

I use the Weight Watchers in 20 Minutes cookbook at least once a week. I found some of their other books too involved, but these recipes are pretty simple and (duh - the title) pretty quick.
I calculate other recipes. I took some of our previous favourites and figured out the points values. That way I could still have the dishes we loved, but in a portion that would work with my daily points allowance.
Oroweat 100 Calorie Sandwich Thins. At 100 calories and 5 grams of fibre, these babies come out at one ONE POINT EACH. They unfortunately are not available in Canada, but through stockpiling and a few last minute "run for the border" shopping trips, I have kept myself in pretty consistent supply. I use them for breakfasts, sandwiches, burger buns...they are awesome!
Sunrise Whole Wheat Pitas. My friend introduced me to these little (big) gems and with their nutritional breakdown they work out to be 4 points for a larger-than-dinner-plate pita. They make an absolutely fantastic pizza crust! I've also found a smaller version that are only 2 points, but these pitas are kind of hard to find anywhere so I take what I can get.
Bananas on Thursdays. I said this post would include the neurotic and the ridiculous. I read (from several places, I swear) that the potassium in bananas helps draw out any retained water, so on Thursday evenings - the night before my weigh-in - I would make sure I ate a banana. Why take any chances?
Also about Thursdays, we made Thursday "Salad Night." Why would I have a big heavy meal the night before a weigh-in?! We do regular old spinach salads (no, we don't eat old spinach), layered salads, warm chicken salads, taco salads, always changing it up but always having something a bit lighter that night.
I found a good supply of 0-2 point snacks and I snack a lot. One cup of sliced strawberries is zero points! There are new Thinsations snack bars that are 1 point. One cup of Smart Food is two points. They're out there. You just have to find what works for you.

My Workouts

One of the most frequent questions I get is about my exercise routine. As I mentioned earlier, I do have a standard program that I do most days, especially when I'm pressed for time. It's a finely tuned (sort of) routine where I can pretty much get in and get out within 45 minutes.

When I first started working out I would do 15-30 minutes of cardio, then 2-3 sets of 12-15 reps each on my favourite weight machines, then some crunches, then stretching. The whole thing would take between an hour and an hour and a half.

I started reading the Biggest Loser Fitness Program book and it said that this was pretty much the least efficient workout I could be doing. Awesome. They explained that circuit training was the way to go for many reasons including EPOC, or excess post-exercise oxygen consumption. Basically, you continue burning calories long after your workout is done. WIN! They also said if you keep your circuit training aerobic, any cardio you do on top of your circuits is a bonus. And the big difference to what I'd been doing before was that I should have been doing my cardio AFTER the circuit training. According to BL, your body has spent most of its stored carbohydrates (glycogen) after the circuits and then taps into its fat stores to help burn energy. Yay for fat burning!

I tried it a couple of times and found I really liked circuit training. For those that don't know (I didn't), you move from exercise to exercise in pretty quick succession. While I had been staying at the same machine for 2-3 sets, resting in between each one, I was now doing one set and moving on to the next machine pretty much immediately. It kept things interesting and kept my heart rate up.

I went and met with a trainer at my gym (I just go to the local rec centre, nothing fancy) and he confirmed that this new regime was a WAY better, way more efficient way to work out. He gave me a 5-10 minute warm-up to get my heart rate going that (God Forbid) included some squats and lunges. He was very sneaky about this, because I swore up and down I would never do either, but lo and behold there I was lunging and squatting. He modified them a bit from the hellish repetitions I'd been exposed to in the past, and believe it or not they're actually bearable.

He then showed me a new way to do the circuits that he recommended doing once a week. Instead of doing 12 reps at the same weight, he suggested starting lighter and doing five, moving up to my regular weight and doing another five, and then moving up again to a weight where I could ALMOST do three reps properly before completely tiring out my muscles. You then move on to the next machine and do the same thing. The best part is, if you do it right and really do tire out your muscles, you only have to do ONE CIRCUIT! Now that's efficient. I sometimes do this twice a week when I'm pressed for time and can't afford to do more than one circuit. Plus I really like it. I know, I'm sick.

I typically do the warm up for 10 minutes, the "super circuit" for 15 and then 15 minutes on the treadmill. That's it, that's all. The perfect workout for a mom with very little time!

If it's a nice day I might trade the treadmill for the 30 minute creekside trail walk beside the rec centre, or sometimes I'll get ambitious and go and swim 20 lengths in the pool. These are both obviously if I'm working with a little more time on my hands. It really does help to keep things fresh.

So, that's them in a nutshell. The secrets to my success. Some may help you. Some may not. I am not a doctor, a dietitian or a personal trainer. All I know is what works for me and if one of my not-so-brief bullet points triggers something for you, awesome.

Please comment and share what works for you, your tried and true tips, or if something here has inspired you!

Blazing My Weigh

2010-09-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

Mr. Awesome and I just got home from a kid-free getaway to Napa and San Francisco. Before embarking on a healthier lifestyle our vacations were fairly inactive, held back by my fatigue, overheating, laziness and sometimes fear.

I've written before about staying on track and active while on vacation, and so far that has meant braving the hotel fitness rooms or going for walks. I decided it was time to push myself even further. In one of our San Francisco guidebooks I read about the popular activity of "Biking the Bridge" - renting bicycles and riding across the Golden Gate Bridge and down into Sausalito. I would NEVER have considered this a year ago, but for the first time I wasn't held back by my physical or emotional insecurities. While I wasn't scared, I was still nervous because I have never attempted anything like this before.

I contacted Blazing Saddles and they kindly agreed to provide two bikes for the day, so now there was no backing out. I'm sure I could have come up with an elaborate tale of woe to get out of the deal, but it was a personal challenge and I had to prove to myself I could do it. (For those bike lovers out there you're probably rolling your eyes at my hesitation over a fairly innocuous ride, but until now any biking excursions for me have inevitably ended shortly after they began due to burning thigh muscles or heavy breathing. It was a big deal, so bear with me.)

We arrived at Blazing Saddles just after lunch on Sunday. The staff were awesome and led us through our route by way of a huge map on the wall. We were fitted for helmets and then bikes, given the final safety check and sent on our way. It was a beautiful day without any fog in sight, so we were not the only ones with the brilliant idea to go for a bike ride. Although there were masses of people out and about that day, it didn't feel too crowded once we got going.

The eight mile (13KM) route starts down near Fisherman's Wharf, heads along a gorgeous waterfront path for a good distance then up onto and across the bridge. You then bike down into Sausalito and can either turn around and bike back or take the ferry back across to Fisherman's Wharf. There are also bike paths than can take you further afield, over to a redwood forest and down into the town of Tiburon, but as we started later than planned we kept it to the basic route.

I knew from the start that there would likely be some uphill involved as the path along the waterfront was noticeably lower than the start of the bridge. I'd been given an awesome light blue Breezer bike, but it only had three gears. Nevertheless, I gave it my all when it came to the first hill. I felt positively triumphant when I rode past a woman pushing her bike and overheard her say to her friend "There is NO way I could ride up this thing." It gave me a burst of energy and I made it, although slowly, all the way to the top.

The second (longer) hill was a bit more of a push, but I made it until the top where the road turned and right at the turn where it got steep about 20 riders had decided to stop. Get to side, people, I'm coming through! Not so much "coming through" as coming to a stop on the steepest part because my legs gave out and then falling off the bike, but no one ever said I was the epitome of grace. My ego was bruised, but that's about it.

We made it to the start of the bridge and onto the bike path that runs along the side. When I told my mum our plans, she had visions of me actually riding across the bridge IN TRAFFIC. Um, no. Rest assured there is a nice wide bike lane.

I'm not the most confident rider at the best of times, so I really had to force myself to pause to enjoy the spectacular view. It was definitely spectacular. Absolutely stunning. And windy. Very, very windy. We wound down the hill towards Sausalito but the route we took did present yet one more hill, which my thighs simply wouldn't go for. I walked my bike up while Mr. Awesome ~~hassled~~ followed me the whole way.

Sausalito is a beautiful, picturesque little seaside town that I wish we could have spent more time in. Given it was the Sunday before Labour Day it was very busy, so the next time we go we'll opt for a longer mid-week visit.

We went for the ferry as the idea of biking back up the hill from Sausalito wasn't appealing at that point. I'm sure it's a beautiful ferry ride if you're one of the first 100 people on board, but we were among the last ones to make it so we ended up sitting on the floor inside. We were just happy to be on board as we were going for sushi that night and had to get going. NOTHING can keep us from a good sushi dinner.

We arrived back at Fisherman's Wharf and rode (Mum, don't read this part) through traffic to beat the other riders back to Blazing Saddles. It wouldn't really have mattered as the staff checked everyone in very quickly and there was never a line. My favourite part was all of them cheering as we rode in, as they did for all the returning riders, as if we had just ridden the Tour de France. They called out "Welcome Back! Way to go! Head for the finish line!" and while I'll never even be Lance Armstrong's clumsy half cousin, it felt pretty darn good.

For once I wasn't held back by my own insecurities or physical limitations. I've always enjoyed walking and that's how we've done a lot of our sightseeing in the past, but this opens up a whole new way of experiencing our travel while staying active. Blazing Saddles does a ride across the Brooklyn Bridge, so maybe we'll add that to the list for things to do when we go to New York in a few years. And biking through wine country in France has always sounded amazing... so many options!

My life's "must do" list just got a little bit longer. Bring it on!

A Break From The Chaos

2010-09-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

I love my kids, really. But I am not ashamed to admit that I needed a break from them. One can only live day in and day out with a whiny three year old who refuses to poop on the potty for so long without starting to go insane. And while it is exciting to witness the little miss's daily advancements in crawling, climbing, cruising and walking, it is exhausting to keep up with her and keep her out of the little man's reach.

Mr. Awesome and I just got home from four nights away. Oma and Opa Awesome came to stay with the kids and we took off. Four evenings with no bedtime battles, four nights with no crying wake-ups, five days with not ONCE having to sing Old MacDonald. And what's more, five days of no dishes, no laundry, no sweeping. Five days of time just for us. It was, to beat the proverbial dead horse one more time...Awesome.

We flew to San Francisco, rented a car and drove straight to Napa where we stayed for two nights before heading back into the city for the last two nights. We wined, we dined, we shopped, we walked, we talked, we reconnected.

I think sometimes in the heat of the whining, the pooping, the crying, the shoving, and the general melee that is life with young kids, we lose sight of just how fantastic these little beings are. Sure, I ALWAYS love them, but I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes, in the very worst times, I don't always like them. Time away gives you time to appreciate them, to miss them and to have the strength to deal with the next pants bomb with patience and love.

I will write more in a subsequent post about the actual trip - highlights, activities, my success at keeping active and not so great success at tracking my points. For now I just wanted to write about how important and fantastic it was just to get away for a few days. I have returned completely refreshed and recharged. I appreciate my kids more than ever and the whining slides off my back with ease.

Bring on the pants bomb. I can take it.

GUEST POST: Don’t Let THE GUILT Get You Down

2010-09-01T23:35:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce you to Kristy! I love her blog and wanted to share her with my readers so you too could know how fantastic she is. So, this is me, spreading the blog love! I asked her to write from the perspectiv of a working mother, as I'm getting ready to head back to work in just over a month and it's just starting to sink in!

Don’t Let THE GUILT Get You Down

It’s so nice to meet you all! I’m Kristy from Pampers and Pinot, and I jumped at the chance to guest post on Gillian’s Finding My Weigh.

Gillian and I began blogging about the same time and quickly developed respect for each other and discovered similar interests. You know, like drinking wine, finding humor in everyday situations, and damning our “points allowance” for the day. Gillian asked me to post about the DREADED WORKING MOTHER’S GUILT since she is soon facing her return to the working world.

When I told my husband of this post, he said, “You don’t have working mother’s guilt, do you?”

I replied, “No.”

To some, that may imply that I do not like spending time with my family (or is that the guilty conscience talking?). That is far from the truth. And, I was just (kind of) joking to my husband. I really do experience The Guilt because I am a mother, and I am a human.

But to help keep The Guilt at bay, I try to remember a few key things.

Being a working mother helps me keep things in perspective.

Not one person in the workplace is immune to gossip and generally immature behavior. Ever since I became a mom, I have been able to better handle Workplace Bullshit. When it comes down to it, none of it is as important as my son or my role as a mother. There’s nothing better than petty workplace drama to remind you of what is really important in life. Most of my problems at work do not follow me in my front door because…well, they simply cannot. There are boogers and butts to wipe, macaroni and cheese and nuggets (WITH RANCH) to make, cars to race on the floor, baths to swim in, bed time books to read, and kisses. Lots of kisses. When you have all that, who the hell cares about things like, “Can you believe she…,” “Why do we have to do it that way?” or “Do you know who comes late/leaves early every day?!” blah, blah, blah.

I enjoy my time with my family so much more when I am a working mother.

You may feel guilty thinking that, but I do not. I know it is true for me, and that is okay. I am blessed to have 8 weeks off every summer, so I get just a taste every year of stay-at-home-mom-ness. It can be rough. After 5 days in a row of pushing cars around the race track, looking at the same I Spy book, watching the Nick Jr. line-up, and looking for sticks and rocks in the neighborhood, I feel like I may as well just go bang my head against a wall. So, during that summertime break, we find ways to break it up – my husband and I get a babysitter, we drop the maniac off at daycare for a day, or we “give each other breaks.” Well, when you’re working, you don’t really need as much of that “away” time. I get home from work, and it is MY CHANCE to actually ENJOY a little time pushing those cars around the track and reading the same book again with my son. I am more PRESENT for it all.

And, finally, I believe that being a working mother is better for my son.

There are many out there that may not agree with me, which is fine. To each their own. But here’s my thinking. It is good for kids to have other experiences away from home. I call it “the scrappy-ness of daycare.” There are benefits to your child having positive, independent experiences away from home. They learn to adapt to new situations and people. They learn to solve problems without their mom around. If their daycare is a happy and healthy environment for them, they thrive in learning how to build relationships with others and this can help even build their self-esteem. I do not claim to be some kind of expert on this issue, I am mostly following my heart, speaking from experience, and drawing on background in educational psychology.

If you are a working mother, the next time you feel The Guilt, consider this. Perhaps what you call The Guilt is really just a voice reminding you that you love your family. Perhaps it is just a voice telling you that you miss your family. So, TAKE COMFORT in the fact that you will go home and embrace your family, and wipe their boogers, and make their dinner, and push their cars on the floor.

Working makes it all the more sweet.

The Mom I Want To Be

2010-09-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

The title of this post has been rattling around my brain for a few weeks now but I hesitated writing it because I didn't want to admit - I'm not the mom I want to be.

The mom I want to be doesn't get frustrated so easily.
The mom I want to be has more patience.
The mom I want to be doesn't yell.
The mom I want to be accepts that "he's just three" is a reasonable explanation.
The mom I want to be has time to clean the house.
The mom I want to be knows how to get the stove top as clean as her mother in law does.
The mom I want to be doesn't swear under her breath at other drivers.
The mom I want to be has boobs that sit somewhere above the bottom of her rib cage.

I can control almost all of these, and with the right bra I could probably control all of them. The right bra can fix a lot of things.

But seriously, I yell more than I want to. Sometimes volume is a tactic to break through the three year old fog that envelops the little man when he's doing something he shouldn't and WILL. NOT. STOP. But sometimes volume is a result of exhaustion, frustration and emotion.

The lesson of the day is impulse control. I'm trying to get the little man to stop and think before he pushes/kicks/hits his baby sister, taking the time to pause before he does what he's invariably about to do. And I am doing my darndest to do the same thing before I raise my voice.

I'm not SO far from the mom I want to be. I'm by no means a lost cause. I think I'm a pretty good mom when it comes down to it, I just want to work on the patience thing. Maybe I will count to three for myself as well as for him. Sometimes Mummy needs a time out.

And a new bra.

Then maybe I will be the mom I want to be.

Sweating & Snacking Together At Last!

2010-08-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Sweating and snacking...not necessarily at the same time, but both have certainly helped me on my weight loss journey.

I was recently asked to check out Kraft Canada's Rice Thins Brown Rice Crisps and review their new "Sweat and Snack" program. The program was developed by personal trainer Jo-Ann James, founder of Vital Steps Inc. and includes four workout circuits using inexpensive and easy-to-use equipment that most people would already have at home (or like me, intend to buy one day).

I was intrigued because I'm a sucker for healthy low point snack foods, and because the program includes exercises that you can do at home, the gym, anywhere. I'm heading back to work in a couple of months and my exercise routine will be changing to fit in with my new schedule, so a good set of exercises I can do at home is very appealing.

The "Snack" portion is obviously referring to the Rice Thins Brown Rice Crisps. I was sent a package of each of the three flavours - Sour Cream & French Onion, Sea Salt & Pepper, and Sweet Mesquite Barbecue. Any time the Little Man spies any kind of snack packaging he's in like a shot, so I of course had to open them up immediately for a taste test. Mr. Awesome's dad (or Opa Awesome) was over for dinner so we all had a taste. All three flavours were good, but the Little Man and I were fans of the Sweet Mesquite Barbecue and Opa Awesome preferred the Sea Salt & Pepper.

The serving size is nine crackers and they're a decent size so it's a fair portion. One serving has 90 calories, 1.5g of fat and 2 grams of fibre so that equals two Weight Watchers points. Not bad if you have points to spare. Now, I might not choose these over a lower point snack if I was tight on points for a given day, but I would certainly munch on them if I had the room. Even so, I still really like that this is a healthy snack option for my family.

Some nutritional highlights:

All flavours are gluten-free
Baked, not fried
A source of fibre
Made with brown rice
Contains 13g of whole grains per 21g serving
Low in fat and have zero trans fat and zero cholesterol

Blah, Blah, Blah...But What's In It For You?

When I agreed to review this program, I wanted to make sure there was something in it for YOU. Sure, you can run out to the store and grab yourself a bag of these tasty snacks, but what about the "Sweat" part? Unless you actually RUN to the store, there's not much exercise in grocery shopping. The program isn't for sale and it isn't available online anywhere. I wasn't about to tell you how great it was and then say "But too bad for you, you can't try it" because a) that's mean and b) what would be the point of that?!

The nice people at Kraft Canada have said I can post the program right here, on Finding My Weigh! I've uploaded it via Scribd, so hopefully my tech skills reign supreme and you can see it below.

All four circuits incorporate the same equipment, available pretty much anywhere these days. Here's what you need:

Exercise ball
Jump rope
Resistance bands
Yoga mat

I tried Circuit #1 just now. It says to do the full circuit twice but I will admit that today in the interest of time between naps (the little miss's naps, not mine unfortunately), I only did it once. I will be doing it "properly" in the next couple of days but I'm on my own this week and time is precious, people!! I hadn't done ANY resistance band work before and holy-mother-of-God is that hard. Probably why I hadn't tried it before...

I invite you to give these circuits a try and let me know what you think. You can scroll through the document below for all four circuits, as well as some simple health and wellness tips they've put together. If all goes as planned, you should be able to download it yourself from there as well. Yay for technology, or "Techology FTW!" as the cooler kids would say.

Happy sweating!

Tuck and Roll!

2010-08-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

My friend's sister has a gift. She has an extensive background in fashion retail and has recently been dabbling in personal styling. I had them over last week to help me plan my shopping strategy as I start to rebuild my wardrobe. Mr. Awesome and I will be doing a major shop down in San Francisco in a couple of weeks and I need to have a plan of action or he'll never survive. Or he'd kill me for spending too much...either way, without a plan one of us isn't getting out alive.

Sarah is like Stacy and Clinton but without completely slagging my current wardrobe. Of course my current wardrobe is fairly nonexistent, so there wasn't really much to criticize. I have had a few things tailored already - things that I really liked and I knew would be cheaper getting altered than buying new. This included a few blazers, one pair of pants, one dress and a couple of skirts. I've given away almost everything else, so I was expecting a long shopping list but no real outfit building. Man, was I wrong!

One of Mr. Awesome's talents is the ability to look in a cupboard that I consider basically bare and create a fantastic meal. Sarah is like that. She dove into my closet headfirst, digging out items I haven't worn in years (but they still fit so I haven't given them away), pairing them with the newly tailored pieces and creating very cool outfits I would NEVER have put together. I was trying stuff on all evening, with her showing me potential outfits or "ideas" for outfits when I get a few more items. Mr. Awesome was thrilled to know that I actually have quite a bit to work with already and that the shopping trip wouldn't be quite the dent in our bank account that we originally thought. Maybe just a ding.

There were a couple of other surprises. Sarah introduced me to a few concepts I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Tucking things in, for example. I haven't tucked something in since bodysuits went the way of the dodo bird in high school, but apparently ALL the cool kids are tucking these days (does that sound dirty?).

And leggings. And skinny jeans. I have lived the better part of my fashion-conscious life with hips I lovingly refer to as saddle bags. I literally looked like I was wearing jodhpurs if I wore anything even remotely form-fitting. Only recently on my weight loss journey have the saddle bags started to disappear, and I'm still getting used to it. Whether or not I have the guts to actually do this look still remains in question, but I did actually try on a pair of legging-type jeans yesterday and I can see how they MIGHT be okay...MIGHT.

And belts. I stopped wearing belts ages ago because they made me feel like a sausage and because I didn't tuck anything in, I believed that belts would just add extra bulk to my midsection. Now belts are everywhere and ON TOP of clothing. Who knew?! On my shopping list is now at least one skinny belt.

And rolling the sleeves on my blazers. Giving it the "boyfriend jacket" feel without actually having to go out and buy a new jacket. I would NEVER have considered rolling the sleeves of a blazer, but when she puts the whole outfit together it just works.

The woman seriously has a gift. She needs to go into business doing this for a living. She has given me ideas, tips and a shopping list of things to look for. And she makes you feel good about yourself, instilling confidence and making you believe you can look great (even in skinny jeans). My problem is I want to go and get it all NOW, but I need to restrain myself until San Francisco. Maybe just a couple of things...

Another thing I really want to get but that we didn't specifically talk about is a wrap dress. Stacy and Clinton are ALWAYS talking about the benefits of wrap dresses, drawing attention to the narrowest part of the body, etc etc. Everyone they ever make over looks great in one, plus they make a whole outfit on their own. Definitely a must have, and I'm pretty sure Sarah will approve.

She's offered to come over again once we get back to go through all my goodies and make more outfits, as well as to go shopping with me if there are any items I'm missing.

It's a whole new world of tucking, rolling and belting and to be honest I am a little afraid. Anytime we give someone a ride somewhere and drop them off, Mr. Awesome yells with glee "Tuck and roll, 'cause I ain't stoppin!" as he pretends to not bring the car to a complete stop to let them out. While some do question his deranged sense of humor, I think the expression is appropriate here. I'm not stopping, I'm going for it.

Tuck and roll, baby, tuck and roll.

All images are from the Banana Republic website.

FOUND! Peace is Restored to The Awesome House

2010-08-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

Oh sweet baby Jesus, he's been found. I just went through the second bedtime without Leo and again, the poor little man was asking for his buddy in a heartbreaking little voice. We didn't have the same drama as last night, but I think that's only credited to extreme exhaustion from a fun day in the sun.

I decided to have one last look in our bedroom. I flipped our bedding, I looked under the bed, and then something told me to look behind our headboard. It's a fairly high headboard and there's not much room back there, but the little man has been known to drop the odd car, book or Swiffer broom back there.

There he was, all floppy and green and smushed down at the bottom of the crack between the bed and the wall, right beside a tea towel and the aforementioned Swiffer. Yes, I need to do a bit more housework. And yes, we have another Swiffer. I do actually do SOME housework.

I snuck into the little man's room and laid Leo down beside him. All is right in our little world once again.

Until I'm greeted by the next trouser bomb. Then it all falls apart again. But for now, peace reigns over our kingdom.

EMERGENCY: Leo the Lion is Missing

2010-08-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

We have an emergency, people. The little man's best buddy is missing. This is a major catastrophe.

He was last seen in the hallway and/or bathroom, depending on which witness you interview. There was some discussion of him going to the laundry to get rid of some incriminating stains, but when the laundry was searched he was nowhere in sight and there was no evidence he had been there recently. Not even the one magic hair that is always discovered on crime shows leading right to the person of interest.

I have looked everywhere. In every drawer, in every closet, in every kitchen cabinet. I have done four loads of laundry since the "Leo needs a bath" conversation and he wasn't in any of them. I have checked the van, as Leo sometimes accompanies us for car rides.

It's driving me nuts.* I seriously can't find him and there aren't THAT many places in our house that he could be. We live in a one-level house and it's fairly open. Not that many nooks and crannies for a floppy knit lion creature to fit in. Where the hell is he?!

The little man is usually pretty good when Leo has to take a bath because he's had pee/vomit/poop/food on him, and goes to bed without much complaint. We never wanted him to become SO attached that he couldn't sleep without him, and it's never been an issue. Except, of course, for when Leo is now actually missing. Last night he knew Leo wasn't in the bath, and wouldn't accept any other explanation. He just wanted his buddy. My heart broke for him. He finally fell asleep surrounded by three other stuffed animals that were weak substitutes at best but seemed to do the trick.

I know he'll turn up eventually, and the little man will likely move on before I do, but every now and then he pauses whatever he's doing to look at me and say sadly "Mummy, I want E-O." At that moment I forget all about the pooping, peeing, whining, sister-hitting monster that I've been living with for the past year and all I want to do is find that damn lion and make my little man feel better.

So if anyone out there sees a green floppy lion wandering the streets, please let me know. It's been unusually hot and we have had the windows open so he may very well have escaped. It's the only reasonable explanation for where he could be, because he is NOWHERE in this house.

But maybe I'll just go look one more time...

* Whenever I say "It's driving me nuts" I hear Mr. Awesome say "YAR!" in a pirate voice. This is because he loves a joke about a pirate who goes into a doctor's office with a steering wheel on his penis and when asked what the problem is he answers... well, you can finish that punchline for yourselves.
Just one more reason why Mr. Awesome is truly awesome.

Ok, Seriously. I HATE Potty Training.

2010-08-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant (and let's be honest for a while afterwards), I did everything in my power to avoid sudden laughter, coughing, sneezing... all in fear that I would accidentally pee my pants. I will run the risk of sharing too much information when I tell you I basically wet my pants a few times when caught off guard by a sneeze. I would go to the bathroom every ten minutes to ensure my bladder was as empty as possible and avoid any nasty surprises. I know the feeling of wet pants and it is just awful.

At least, it was awful for me. It's apparently not so awful for the little man. He doesn't seem to give a rat's ass if he's on the toilet or not when nature calls.

I am so bloody sick of potty training. We've been potty training for eight months now and every time I think there MIGHT be a light at the end of the tunnel we take seventy three steps backwards. He can go to college in a diaper for all I care. Hopefully baggy jeans are back in style then to mask the padding from the Depends undergarments.

For a while we were really making progress. He was telling us when he had to go pee and was going on the potty. He wouldn't go by himself because he can't pull his own pants up or down (not for lack of working on it), but he was going with us.

Then he stopped telling us he had to go, but would still go whenever we took him. Sometimes he would put up a fight, but would still pee once he got there. Now, it's any body's call what the day will bring. Some days he tells us he has to go, some days he pees on the couch. Some days he'll go when we take him, some days he pees in the back yard. This morning he peed on the couch while watching a movie. I have no idea why. For some reason he would rather wet himself and sit in it than mention that he has to go and get up and go to the bathroom. He's a kid of the new millennium, he understands TV can be paused if necessary. He doesn't suffer the hardship of having to wait for commercials like we did. We then went for a four hour round trip excursion and he didn't go once! There is no rhyme or reason to it.

And don't even get me started on #2. I can count on one hand the number of times the kid has actually intentionally pooped on the toilet. It is a daily occurrence that he drops a bomb in his shorts. For eight months we have been asking him to go on the potty, dumping it in, showing him where it goes, flushing it goodbye... at the first sign of a grunt we head into the washroom and sit him down, only to sit and wait for...nothing. Yes, we've had some great conversations in there, but no progress in the poop department. And take your eyes off him for a second once you're back out of the washroom and he's in his room and filling his shorts faster than you can say "Nooooo!"

Today, he peed his pants while playing in the backyard with his Opa. My guess is he didn't want to stop playing to come in and use the washroom. There was absolutely no indication that he had to go, he just went. It was just before bath time so I took off his pants, changed his shoes and let him hang out for the world to see. A few minutes later I heard some exclamations of dismay from Opa and discovered that he had pooped in his play house.

WHAT THE HELL? WE HAVE TOILETS!!!

I am beyond frustrated. One of the recurring pieces of advice I received when we started this journey was to never go back to diapers or Pull-Ups, as he would surely regress and we'd find ourselves set back at least six months. He sleeps in Pull-Ups, but he's been in his "big boy" underwear during the day from the beginning. Sure, the occasional long road trip or flight brought out a Pull-Up for the day, but otherwise we have stayed strong, making sure we have changes of clothes at the ready just in case.

And for the most part, we have had very few accidents when out and about. There was the infamous "Code Brown" incident at Costco back in March, but that was a juice-induced issue that he literally couldn't control. It's when we're at home that's the problem.

I don't know if it's an attention thing, or a rebellion thing... our reactions have gone from loving and comforting to exasperated to concerned to comforting again... there is no identifiable pattern to know if it's something we're doing or not doing. He gets the concept and understands the process. Even if he's already peed in his Pull-Up when he comes into our room in the morning, he still knows he has to go to the bathroom before we do anything else. He can tell us where he's supposed to pee and poo. He gets it all in theory but doesn't seem to be able to put it into practice.

Nobody told me it would take this long. I understand from talking to friends and doing a bit of research that the poo thing is pretty common for boys. I'm not totally sure why it's only boys that have an issue with it, but it seems to be the case. It's gross and the worst part of every day, but I can deal with it. It's the pee that is driving me nuts. He's three and a half and has been potty training for EIGHT MONTHS. I would just like him to be able to pull his own pants up and down and TELL me when he has to pee. Is that too much to ask?!

I don't know how much more of this I can take. It wouldn't be so bad if he wore diapers in college, would it? It might hurt his dating life a bit, but then he could just focus more on his studies...right? It could be very beneficial for his grade point average and ultimately his career.

See? Every cloud has a silver lining.

Follow Me Back Tuesday Blog Hop!

2010-08-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Survey Junkie,Little Yaya's,

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We Find The Defendant...HUMAN!

2010-08-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

I hate guilt. It eats at me for days, weeks, months and sometimes years. I still get pangs of guilt over minor wrongs I may or may not have done to friends years ago. Even if they were just misunderstandings, I still have guilt creep up on me when I'm least expecting it.

I wrote a post this morning about weaning the little miss and in one paragraph mentioned some frustrations I'm having with Mr. Awesome not taking on more of the bottle feedings to help with the transition. I then titled the post "Maybe Mr. Awesome Should Grow Boobs," making it seem like a bigger deal than it is. It was meant to be a funny title that grabbed your attention, drawing you into the wonderful world that is my blog, but I immediately started to regret it.

I started to get the guilt sweats. You know, that panicky feeling that you've done something wrong, even though you probably haven't. Mr. Awesome is definitely not one to "sweat the small stuff," letting things simply roll off his back when I would be stamping my foot and screaming in protest in the same situation. I knew the post wouldn't affect him, but also never wanted him to think I didn't appreciate everything he does. He does a lot, I'm just particularly sensitive right now about holding my little girl to feed her but giving her a bottle instead of breastfeeding. She really doesn't care one way or the other, but again...there's the guilt.

What really made me feel bad was the thought that my readers would get the wrong idea of Mr. Awesome. You only get to see a snippet of my life and I, although very lightly, bitched to you about my husband.

But then I thought...SO WHAT? I bitch about my kids, I bitch about my weight loss journey, I bitch about the woman in my Weight Watchers meetings who is always whining... I write about what is happening in my life at the current moment and I always try to write as openly and honestly as possible. WHY would I ever hide the fact that I'm a little cheesed with the man I married? That's reality, baby. NO marriage is perfect, and I defy anyone to tell me that they never once have been frustrated with their partner. Dating, married, straight, gay - we are human and humans have emotions. There will always be minor disagreements, heated discussions, yelling matches brought on by lack of sleep because your baby is teething... As long as your relationship is open, candid and honest, a few skirmishes here and there are no big deal. If you got along all the time it would be boring!

I love Mr. Awesome. More than that, I LIKE him. He is one of the good guys. We have a great marriage where it's safe to express how we're feeling. Like I said earlier, nothing really phases him so it's usually me expressing my feelings, but that's beside the point.

So yes, I was frustrated with my husband. I don't think women admit this enough. It is perfectly normal to have these feelings and if nobody ever talks about it, then we might start to think it's just us and there really is something wrong!

I have heard so many people express their relief when they hear that they are not the only parents experiencing the ~~hell~~ joys that only a whiny, disobedient preschooler can bring. I know one woman who actually sought out counselling for her son because she didn't TALK to anyone to find out that everyone she knew was going through the same thing! We need to have that same sense of relief when it comes to our relationships.

Why would I try and hide my feelings? If this blog has shown anything, I'm not perfect. Having these feelings does not mean we are bad parents, bad wives, partners, or people. We are human.

Maybe Mr. Awesome Should Grow Boobs

2010-08-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

This past week was World Breastfeeding Week. I'm not really sure what that means, because if you're breastfeeding you can't exactly feed MORE during a specific week, and if you're not breastfeeding, you can't exactly start from nothing... it's not like a week devoted to yoga, where you could reasonably increase or begin your yoga activity. But I digress.

Given all the struggles I had feeding the little man, it's somewhat appropriate that I started weaning the little miss during a week that has been devoted to breastfeeding. She's nine and a half months old now and I am pretty happy that we've made it this far.

When I was pregnant with her I told myself that I would give feeding a try but wouldn't beat myself up if it didn't work. I had such a painful time last time that I wasn't going to go through that again. Well, the little champion started feeding while I was still in the labour bed at the hospital, and she hasn't really stopped since. I visited with a lactaction consultant once early on to make sure we were on the right track, but we haven't had any issues. I said I would go six months, then eight...now we're closing in on ten. It's become so routine and easy that recently while Mr. Awesome drove down the highway I climbed into the back seat of our van and fed her while we were both buckled in to our seats. Thank god for the sun shade that provided some privacy otherwise the drivers in the other lane might have had an eyeful. I don't want to be responsible for a multi-car pile-up, that's just not good road etiquette.

Although feeding has worked out so well, the time has come to wean her. It's the right time for many reasons, some practical and some emotional, and I'm happy with the decision.

It's going pretty well so far. She's eating a lot of solids, she takes a bottle, and we're down to early morning and late evening feedings only. The one thing I didn't expect to encounter during this process was being the only one doing it. With the little man Mr. Awesome took on half the feedings, sharing midnight wake-ups with me and everything. He was fantastic, never complaining, just jumping in as a full partner. This time around, not so much. He's gotten pretty used to me just grabbing her and feeding her wherever we are when she happens to need it. I think he'd be happy if breastfeeding went on forever, given how easy it is for HIM! He does give her the occasional bottle when I'm not home or if I've negotiated with him beforehand because I want to go to bed and I know she'll need one more feed around 11pm. Now that we're weaning I'm lucky that she will take a bottle from me without much complaint, otherwise there would be some Awesome battles underway.

We should be completely done within a couple of weeks. We're heading off on a kid-free trip to San Francisco early next month and the grandparents will be staying with the munchkins so that's kind of our deadline. That will also mean we're well and truly done when I return to work in October.

It's a bit bittersweet as I will miss the closeness and the simplicity of it all, but the little miss is a snuggle monkey anyway so I'll still get my cuddles. When the little man was born I never in a million years thought breastfeeding would be something I would miss.

It's amazing how two experiences and two children can be so very different. Does that mean she might not whine like he does?! Hey, I can dream...

Me, Only Better.

2010-08-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

I think the reason Weight Watchers has worked this time is because I finally realized that it is NOT a diet, it truly is a lifestyle change. I always understood that in theory, and this time something clicked in my brain and I finally get it.

What I didn't expect was the change in my lifestyle. Does that sound like a contradiction? Yes, I have made Weight Watchers my lifestyle. Yes, my way of eating has changed forever. Yes, exercise is now a permanent and enjoyable part of my life.

But by changing my lifestyle, my style of life has changed. Let me explain before you stare at your screen with a big "Duh."

When I'm talking to people about my weight loss, they nearly always say something to the effect of "You must feel amazing" or ask "How do you feel?" I usually answer these questions with exclamations about how good I feel, how I have more energy, how I can play with my kids more... easy, fairly predictable answers.

I only truly realized this week just how different my lifestyle and way of thinking were. When we renovated our house and moved in two years ago, we had pre-painted siding installed. The boards just had one coat, basically a primer, and the siders sealed all the seams with a putty that irritatingly stood out like a sore thumb. We knew when it was installed that we would have to paint the house within a couple of years, but it was a much cheaper option at the time.

Two years ago if you had told me "We have to paint the house," it invariably would have ended up with Mr. Awesome out there every day slaving away and me offering very little participation. I would likely have done a little bit and then made an excuse for why I needed to go inside, sit down, etc. I simply didn't have the energy. I wouldn't have had the staying power to paint window trim, let alone a whole wall. It was partly the lack of energy and partly sheer laziness brought on by the lack of energy. I was stuck in laziness loop!

We've just completed four full days of house painting, and when I say we I mean WE. Okay, Mr. Awesome stands at 6'5" so he has done a little more than me because he can reach the high parts easier, but I have definitely held my own on the workload. I've only stopped to make meals or relieve the babysitter, but otherwise I've been out there, roller or brush in hand. I've hardly sat down (unless I was painting the bottom of the wall) and I haven't even been that sore afterwards! I've painted a HOUSE! I can look at our house with pride and know that I actually actively contributed to how it looks, not just sitting and picking out colour swatches.

When I realized how different my energy and attitude were compared to a couple of years ago, I was shocked. It made me look at other instances where my outlook is different, my decisions have changed, etc.

I no longer park as close as humanly possible to my destination to save the walk from the car. I take stairs with ease, and quite often instead of an elevator. I spend a LOT less time sitting on the couch. When out for a walk, I never used to be able to keep up with Mr. Awesome (give me a break, he's 6'5" for Pete's sake) but now it's not even an issue. We are going to San Francisco next month and we're planning on renting bicycles and riding across the Golden Gate Bridge. And I'm EXCITED about it, not dreading it!

I'm the same person I was before, but better. I'm not afraid of trying new things. I don't say no to new opportunities or activities because I'm worried I won't have the energy, or that I'll be too big, too heavy, too slow.

Who knew that by making a lifestyle change, I would give myself a whole new life.

Keeping a Hard Ass in the Face of Illness, Or Parenting a Sicky.

2010-08-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

Nope, this isn't a post about working out while sick, because who the heck wants to do that?! This one's about parenting a preschooler who isn't feeling well and wants to push every boundary known to man.

I'm a practiced hard ass when it comes to the little man and his whining. Counting to three, multiple time outs, I can hand it all down without a crack in my icy veneer. But what the hell do you do when your little love is sick?

Our little man was feverish and nauseated last week. The poor little monkey. I knew he was whining because he didn't feel good. I knew he was tired and didn't know what he wanted. I felt so sorry for him, and I hugged him every chance I got. But when the whining started, I was torn.

We are doing everything in our power to stay strong through the whining, so that he learns that it DOES NOT work, it DOES NOT get him what he wants, and it WILL result in a time out. But when he's sick, all I want to do it make the sadness go away and make him feel better. I want to give him fudgesicles at every meal and let him sleep in our bed every night. (Yes, he did sleep in our bed one night, after he barfed in it, but no, he did not get fudgesicles at every meal.)

Here's the problem. He is the king of "if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile." Give in once and he believes he can get whatever he wants at any time. We've basically outlawed chocolate milk in our home because we had one jug of it ONCE and he lost his mind when he couldn't have it at every meal. It took weeks before he accepted that it was well and truly gone and stopped asking for it. We can't afford to show weakness, or the whining will NEVER end!

So how do you maintain the same rules and level of consequences when they're sick? Or if you do bend the rules while they're under the weather, at what point in their recovery do you lay down the law again?

I look forward to the day when the whining and blatant disobedience stops and I just get to be mummy again. Should kick in right about the time he turns 35. I hope.

She Shoots, She Scores!! GOAL!

2010-08-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

I started Weight Watchers on December 18, 2009. 32 weeks ago. 224 days ago. 63.6 pounds ago.

On Friday, July 30 I reached my goal.

I originally set my goal as 170lbs. This represented a loss of 53lbs and would be lower than I had been in years. It seemed very, very far away. It was more than I had ever lost before but I wanted to be realistic.

170lbs was also outside the BMI range for "normal" so I got a doctor's note so Weight Watchers would approve it. It bugged me that my end point was outside the range that some 19th century Belgian researcher deemed normal. I know this is ridiculous and I can rationalize the hell out of why the BMI is inadequate, out of date and doesn't matter, but it still bugged me.

Turns out it didn't matter. 170lbs came and went. The goal I had thought was just a pipe dream passed by like any other weigh-in. It was realistic after all and I knew I could keep going.

I set my final goal at 160lbs. And as of last Friday I reached it, at 159.4 pounds.

I now begin the wonderful world of maintenance. I have to figure out how to eat to maintain the right balance between calories consumed and calories burned. I get extra points, but have to stay within a 2+/2- pound window. And we're weaning the little miss this week, so any extra points I get from maintenance will shortly go away once breastfeeding is finished.

I'm basically riding a fine line between breastfeeding and maintenance and trying to keep it all balanced so I don't really have to change much in my eating habits.

My balance is not one of my best skills, so this should be interesting. Let's hope I don't fall!

Shopping Just Got A Lot More Interesting

2010-07-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

This kind of goes hand in hand with an earlier post entitled A Distorted Reality, but my reality still seems to be a bit shaky.

I was out for dinner with a few friends and we stopped in to one of their houses afterwards to have a quick visit with her baby boy. Just as we were getting ready to leave, she asked what size I was wearing now. I said size 10 but then quickly began to panic. Would they believe me? How could I possibly be a size 10?!

My panic increased when she explained that she had a size 10 pair of pants from H&M that were a bit big for her and she wondered if I wanted to try them on. Oh my God, they're going to find me out! There's no way her pants will fit me! And H&M? I haven't been able to buy anything there with the exception of jewelry and kids' clothes since they came to town! I waffled a bit and said that in SOME pants I'm still wearing a size 12, and that they may not fit. I was basically apologizing for being a size 10 and I have no idea why. Was I going to be embarrassed if they didn't fit? Why? I haven't been this size since high school and I've worked hard to get here, but I was convinced that I would try and squeeze on these itty-bitty size 10's and be faced with the reality that they didn't fit.

It's like every time I stand on the scale. I was in the 200's for so long that now I'm almost 40lbs into the 100's I don't believe the numbers. I have moments of fear that maybe my scale is broken, that maybe the little man has dropped it and it's out of whack by about twenty pounds. But he can't have snuck in a dropped all the scales at Weight Watchers too, can he?

I have lived for a long time with the understanding that there are only certain stores I can shop in, and that when I go shopping with friends I will likely not be able to find anything in the same stores as they do. Outlet malls where they had a Banana Republic AND a Lane Bryant were my saving grace, where we could all come home with a fun new purchase.

Since starting this weight loss journey, my shopping has pretty much been at Costco, or at Target when we venture south. I haven't really bought anything at a "real" store yet. I did buy some pants (yes, size 10) at Winners a while back, but that's Winners, and I figured their sizing must be skewed to explain the low prices. How could I possibly fit into a pair of pants from H&M? The odd XL shirt, sure, but PANTS?? My hips and shopping have never been friends, and I was about to slip my saddlebags into a pair of pants from H&M. Who the hell do I think I AM?

Long, drawn out and fairly predictable story short, the pants fit. And they look decent. And they're linen so after a couple of hours they're actually baggy. A size 10 pair of H&M pants is actually baggy on me.

Shopping just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

(Insert sound of Mr. Awesome quietly weeping in the corner as he opens the credit card bills.)

Grab Your Purple Yarn!

2010-07-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

After two kids, I am lucky enough to never have experienced "purple crying" firsthand. We were handed a DVD on the subject when we left the hospital with the little miss and almost nine months later it still sits encased in plastic wrapping on my dresser.

For those of you that don't know, the "Period of PURPLE Crying" is the phase in your baby's life when they cry more than do anything else. It's often described as colic, and it's totally normal. But what I understand from my friends who have lived through it, it's hell on earth. Unfortunately, it can lead some parents to do things they will regret forever.

There is a campaign across North America to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome, and education about the Period of PURPLE Crying is a major component of this initiative. It aims to inform parents about this challenging period in their baby's life, and provide tactics to manage the frustration that goes along with it.

CALLING ALL KNITTERS!

As part of this education and awareness campaign, they are asking "crafty folks" and knitting groups to knit or crochet PURPLE newborn baby caps to given to babies born in BC during the week of November 15th to coincide with Canada’s National Child Day.

Crafters can create from five to 50 caps using any newborn baby cap pattern and any colour of soft, baby-friendly PURPLE yarn.

Please help spread the word by joining the facebook group or sharing the information with your network and encouraging them to knit a few caps over the summer months.

PURPLE caps should be mailed by Nov 5, 2010 to BC Children’s Hospital:

c/o Claire Yambao
Provincial Program Coordinator, Prevent SBS BC
BC Children's Hospital
4480 Oak Street, K1-209
Vancouver, BC V6H 3V4

By knitting and sending PURPLE newborn baby caps to be given to babies across the province, you will make a difference by:

Raising awareness for this life-saving project - Period of PURPLE Crying - Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC.
Participating in a growing, province-wide grassroots effort to educate new parents about the normalcy of early infant crying and how to cope with the frustration that can accompany it.

The Period of PURPLE Crying - Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC is a part of the most comprehensive shaken baby syndrome prevention initiative in North America. To learn more, visit http://www.PURPLEcrying.info and follow them on Twitter @PurpleCrying

From "One Day" to Today, or A Look Back at How I Got Here

2010-07-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl I went through several "when I grow ups," announcing a new aspiration every few months. I always knew I would be a mom, but I also knew I was going to have a career. This history lesson focuses on the professional side of my life. Perhaps one day I'll tell you the story of how I got together with Mr. Awesome and then grew the munchkins, but today is about my work life.

I was going to be a teacher, but that was fairly short lived. I was going to be a nurse until I found out they had to clean poop (Ha, look at me now!). I was going to be a flight attendant until one day I watched just how hard they work during a flight and the romance of free travel disappeared. For a long time I was going to be a lawyer, but then the reality of seven years in university hit and that dream fizzled too.

At around the age of sixteen I decided I was going to be an actress. I had always loved the theatre and movies, and this was no passing career fancy. I was serious. I sat my parents down and explained my plan. I had thought it through and presented them with reasons, strategies, budgets, the whole shebang (I don't know how to spell that, but now I have William Hung singing "She Bangs! She Bangs!" in my head. Awesome.) I registered for acting classes outside the standard high school drama program. I got a (not very good) agent, and went on a few auditions. After high school I continued with the acting classes, and then when I was nineteen I left home for theatre school just outside of Montreal. I was there for three years and it was phenomenal.

When I graduated and came home in 1998, my school friend Trace moved out to Vancouver and we started our own theatre company. Horned Moon Productions existed for five years and produced six shows, never losing a dime. For producing small theatre in Vancouver, this is a fairly big deal. I acted in two of Horned Moon's shows, co-directed one and produced all of them. It was always in my "spare time," and I loved it. To pay the rent, I was working in the box office at two professional theatre companies. I kept auditioning, but for theatre only this time, not film. Actually, at one point I was convinced I was going to join Cirque du Soleil as a character actor, and even went so far as to audition for them. Let's just say it didn't work out and leave it at that.

It took me a while to fully admit it, but I found I got almost as big a "high" from producing and marketing the shows as I did acting in them (probably the control freak in me). This was a difficult realization as I had committed so much time and a sizable chunk of my parents' money into the acting thing, but I finally succumbed to the allure of a regular paycheck and not being rejected on a regular basis.

I got the opportunity to join the marketing department at one of the theatre companies I was working for. It was a full time job instead of the part-time and seasonal work I'd been doing, and represented a mind shift for me. It was a "real" job, not just something to "support my acting." It was official. Acting was to be something I did on the side, when I had the time. If I had the time. The more involved I got on the marketing side of things, the more I loved it, and the less time I made for the acting.

When my dad died I took some time off and eventually decided to go back to school for "something in marketing." From my observation of my colleagues, PR seemed to be a good fit and I registered for an eight-course program in public relations at BCIT. I also started volunteering in promotions at a local radio station.

It's so funny how things work out. Looking back, my life has a very clear line to where I am today, at least professionally. Join me on this jaunt down my career path, won't you?

I began to get more work with the radio station. I didn't have a minute of broadcast experience, but all of a sudden I'm doing traffic reports and then spotting bumper stickers as "Christine the Prize Queen," thanks in large part to my acting and voice training.

One of my teachers at BCIT hired me as Communications Coordinator for her PR firm. We did the PR for Cirque du Soleil's first two tours to Vancouver and my dream of working for Cirque was finally realized.

After a couple of years I left that job for a promotions position with the radio station. It was actually a step back, but radio promotions has something seductive about it and jobs in Vancouver don't come along that often. I needed to find out if that was where I was supposed to be. It turns out my heart is there, but my pocketbook is not. There also isn't any room for advancement in the market and being the overachiever I am, I eventually needed to move on.

My experience with both the PR job and in radio promotions landed me a position as "Western Regional Marketing Manager" for a national restaurant chain. (This may in part have to contributed to my weight gain!) The experience was phenomenal and I grew leaps and bounds in my knowledge and confidence. I went on my first maternity leave and while I was gone things began to change. As with many Canadian companies with head offices in Toronto, things began to "move East," taking on a national spin. As the Western REGIONAL Marketing Manager, I saw the writing on the wall. I knew I would have to start looking for something else, but wasn't sure where to start given that I was on leave and learning to be a mom. (And, yes, I was right - the position did disappear within six months of me giving my notice.)

I had kept in touch with my BCIT teacher/former boss and when the little man was about two months old I went to her home for tea and to introduce them. She asked me about my job, how things were changing, etc and I suddenly got the sneaking suspicion she had something up her sleeve. (I should probably insert here that she was working as the Director of Communications for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, BC/Yukon Region. Sound familiar?) It turns out that her marketing manager had given notice the day before (what are the odds?!) and she suggested rather strongly that I apply. I had LOVED working for her and not only did CBCF sound amazing, but I would get the chance to work with her again.

So there you have it. In five "easy" steps we reach today. I am NOT an actress. I am the marketing manager for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, BC/Yukon Region. But somehow it all seems to make perfect sense.

I am right where I am supposed to be.

This post was written for the Bloggy Moms July 2010 Blog Challenge. You can read other submissions here.

A Big Fat Reality Check

2010-07-10T20:09:00.001-07:00

I was thinking about the post I will write when I reach my Weight Watchers goal. I'm getting close. Really close. I may choose to go further, but that's another post entirely.

I started looking in our files for a "before" picture, as that seems appropriate. Given that I had basically banished any cameras from my presence for the last few years and any of the sneaky buggers that managed to snap a picture of me were immediately destroyed in a shower of hellfire, there were very, very few pictures of me in my "before" years.

Last night we had friends over for a dinner party (oooh, aren't we fancy) and one of our guests brought a flash drive with some photos from their wedding last August. There was one of me, that I obviously did not know was being taken or the photographer would have been shot (pardon the pun) on site. I was 7.5 months pregnant and it was a freakishly hot day so there was some swelling going on, but I can't really blame that. I can't really even blame the fact that I was pregnant, as I only gained 16lbs during my last pregnancy. Yes, the belly was pregnancy-related, and boobs too to some extent, but the arms, chins, and general width were all mine. I introduce you to my "before" picture:

I mentioned in an earlier post that I really didn't have a clear image of what I looked like before I started this weight loss journey and new lifestyle. Even Mr. Awesome couldn't really remember as he's spent almost every day with me during the gradual changes. When he showed me the picture he thought there must have been some stretching or the photographer must have been using a "funny lens." He didn't remember me looking like that and neither did I, but there I was, almost one year ago exactly, in all my glory.

I knew I looked different now because people I haven't seen in a while are always surprised to see me, but I didn't fully comprehend just how far I'd come.

This is me today. I'm the same person, but at the same time a very different person. It's weird to think back to how I felt then. I was happy with my life but not my body. I'm now stronger, I'm healthier, I got my waist back, I can jog and climb stairs without getting winded... I don't think anyone is ever 100% happy with their body, but now I'm a hell of a lot closer.

And when they invent a magic pill that gets my boobs back up to where they used to be, I'll be that much closer again. But that's fodder for another day's writing.

An Open Letter to Stacy London and Clinton Kelly

2010-07-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Stacy and Clinton,

I need your help. I am going back to work from maternity leave in three months and I have NO work clothes. Literally, nothing. Well, potentially one suit might still work. You see, I've just lost a significant amount of weight, going from a size 18 to a 10. We are now past the point of being able to tailor my old clothes, as it will be more money to take them in than it will be to purchase new pieces. I need to go shopping, but an entire work wardrobe is a monumental task and my husband (Mr. Awesome) may or may not be up to the task.

I watch What Not to Wear religiously, repeats and all. Probably a little too much, to be honest, given that I can quote most of your rules by heart. Now, I think I follow the rules. But from what I can tell, most of the people on your show have NO idea they're doing things wrong. What if I am one of these desperate souls that is walking around in her life looking schlumpy or inappropriate? How would I even know? You always say that people compliment people on their appearance when they have nothing else to say. I think everyone does this at some point, so how can anyone ever be sure that they look okay, let alone fabulous?!

Like I said, I think I follow the rules. The few items I have purchased during my weight loss journey have been pretty casual given that I'm on maternity leave and "weekend mom" is my life right now. The jeans I have purchased have been a "uniform dark wash." The jersey cotton dresses I've been wearing this summer have "empire seaming" and "highlight the narrowest part of me." I think this is pretty impressive given that basically everything I wear these days has been purchased at Costco. Yes, Costco. I've been dropping weight pretty steadily since December and we can't afford to keep me clothed in a new size every month for more than $20 per item (max)! I'm also dredging up items from around 2002, the last time I was close to this size. So we're faced with dated items, baggy items, or Costco items. This is my life.

A little more about my life and less about my clothes...

I am 34.
I live in Vancouver, British Columbia (do you guys even accept Canadian submissions anymore?)
I am married to "Mr. Awesome." (A name he gave himself for my blog. He usually deserves it.)
I have two fantastic children - a three year old son and a nine month old daughter.
I work for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. It is awesome and a fantastic reason to go to work every day.

Mr. Awesome and I have a trip to Napa and San Francisco planned before I return to work in October. Besides being some much needed "us" time to hang out and drink yummy wine, this trip is also partly to go shopping for a work wardrobe. This will take time and money. Mr. Awesome is patient, but he's not that patient. And let's just say he's...thrifty. (This is part explains my Costco wardrobe.) To keep things hunky-dory on our romantic little getaway, my shopping needs to be focused, efficient and budget-conscious. I also need to come home with enough items to create at least two weeks' worth of outfits... this may be a bit much to ask with all the wine tastings getting in the way.

I need your help. My pre-weight loss wardrobe was a bunch of individual pieces, usually paired with the same pair of black pants. I have never shopped in outfits. I can't afford to make mistakes here, as I'm only going to be able to do this once. I am submitting myself for your show, your guidance, your rules.

I agree to give myself over to you, mind, body and wardrobe. The wardrobe in question is pretty small as I've donated most of my larger clothes already, but I will hand over what I've got!

I will wait patiently in my Costco jeans for your call.

Sincerely,

Gillian

Time Out in Aisle Five! (Or How I'm Under House Arrest)

2010-06-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

The whining is back. Not nearly to the degree it was here before, but it has definitely returned.

As I've mentioned before, Mr. Awesome and I can be hardass parents when needed. Never ones to shy away from a challenge, we bravely faced sleep training head on. Twice. (It took us a while to become the hard asses we are today.) Sleep training actually trained US for the times when we have to sit and listen to the little man scream at us for some atrocity we have done to him or some precious toy we have removed after it was lobbed at our heads.

Our sleep training ~~loosely~~ followed Dana Obleman's Sleep Sense program, and given the fact that is pretty much saved our marriage, I am a true believer. She sends out emails every now and then with tips and solutions, most of which haven't applied to us since the sleep problems ended, but once in a while one will come along that's proven very useful.

The other day an email arrived from ~~heaven~~ Dana and it was entitled The One Weekend Whining Cure. Um, hello?! Invest ONE weekend and say goodbye to whining forever? I'M IN! Without going into all the details, the basic "One Weekend Whining Bootcamp" premise is that you give a time out every time the child whines. She says to explain the plan to your child, choose a consistent location, get an egg timer, and go for it. (Again, there is more to it that just this, but I don't want to violate any copyright laws. There's a scary warning on the first page.)

Now, we typically don't always follow every child-rearing rule to the letter. For example, we have yet to buy the egg timer. For the most part though, even the promise of a time out is now enough to get him to speak in a "big boy" voice. Yes, we have to ~~threaten~~ promise this at least 20 times a day, but it does seem to be making a difference. With one rather GLARING hitch.

How the HELL do you give a time out when you're out of the house? The carpet at the end of our hallway doesn't exactly come with us to the grocery store, and I'm not about to sit my son down with an egg timer in the middle of frozen foods. So how do you make good on your promise that any whining results in a time out when you can't follow through?

I'm certainly not one to sit home all day every day, given the lack of decent daytime programming on television. When we were kids, parents didn't think twice about locking a misbehaving kid in the car if the situation called for it. Now, we would get Child Services on top of us before we even pressed "lock" on the car remote (not that I'm considering this tactic). Although strapping him into his car seat and walking away does seem tempting at times...I swear I would leave the window open. Please don't report me. I'M KIDDING.

How do you deal with difficult behaviour when you're out of the house? Do you just ignore it? Do you do time outs, no matter where you are? Do you promise a time out when you return home, even though a three year old's memory of the incident will have been wiped clean by the large excavator you saw on the drive back to your house?

I'm at a loss. I may have to stay home forever and start watching TLC marathons of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" and "Say Yes to the Dress." That alone could be useful as punishment for whining. I may be on to something here... discipline by daytime TV.

I Don't Hate My Three Year Old

2010-06-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

When I was little and I told my mum that I hated somebody, she told me that hate was a very strong word and didn't apply to how I was feeling. She told me that to hate someone meant that I "wanted to go to war with" that person.

Well, I am at war with my three year old. The little man and I are on the battlefield of the evil country of Preschoolistan. (Side note: I told Mr Awesome that I needed a good "country name" for this paragraph and without thinking he replied "Billy Jo Bob." He obviously misunderstood what I meant. I digress.)

So, I am at war with the little man. Like any war in history, the root of our conflict is a difference in beliefs. I believe that it is NOT okay to throw things when you are upset, he disagrees. I believe it is NOT okay to hit your sister on the head, he disagrees. I believe it is NOT okay to pee on the couch, he disagrees. I believe it is NOT okay to whine, he blatantly disagrees. We are at an impasse.

He fires a round of whining in my direction, I blast back with a time out. He lobs a book at the little miss's head, I answer with another time out. He throws his favourite toy "Leo" in anger, I rally with removing Leo for the whole day. He launches (thankfully not literally) a poop grenade into his underpants, I...well, let's face it. I clean it up. A poop grenade is not something that you can really punish. It's just something I live in fear of every day. It's my 1980's nuke and he holds control of the big red button. But poop really isn't part of this story. Okay, it factors into every story somewhere, but it's not the POINT.

We have made some headway. The whining is diminishing slowly. We've come to a point where he's starting to understand the time out concept and the consequences of his actions, but on a very short term basis. Consistency is all-important now and we are standing firm. Any sign of weakness on our part will send us retreating back over the bridge we fought so hard to cross. This results in a LOT of time outs each day. We try and keep the time between time outs positive and full of love, but after the 11th time out of the day it gets a little challenging. Bedtime can be a very welcome thing some days.

I don't hate him. I will never hate him. I love him unconditionally. But, by my mum's definition, do I want to go to war with him? Honey, I'm already there.

And there will be no surrender.

Does Your Fitness Take a Vacation?

2010-06-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

When you go on vacation or a business trip, do you try to keep up with your weight loss and/or fitness? We were recently away for a weekend with friends and I was adhering to my points tracking. I went over on one day (lasagna, yum!) and one of my friends said "Oh well, you're on vacation."

Does that matter? Sure, one day is not going to make or break anything, but it's a slippery slope. If I'm on a 10-day cruise and subscribe to the "on vacation" philosophy, I'll quickly put back at least 10 of the 50lbs I've lost so far. As I've mentioned in many a post before, I am lazy. I already LOST that 10lbs and I don't want to have to do it again!

We've been away a few times since I started this journey and each time I've put some pretty significant thought into the planning where food and exercise were concerned. Significant, but worth it every time. It's really not that hard once you know what to think about, what to look for, etc.

Below are some things I have done and/or will be doing in our upcoming trip planning. Let me just say, I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer, guilting you into working out on your vacation or denying yourself some holiday treats. I just know that for ME, I can't indulge in a big way without paying the price on the scale and that's something I'm not prepared to deal with. Enjoy your vacation time, enjoy your family and friends, and do what is right for YOU.

Staying with friends:

If you belong to a gym at home, do they have a reciprocal program with any gyms where you will be staying?
Ask your friends about local community centres that have gyms, pools, etc.
Is there a good, safe area for walking?
If you're driving, take along a set of 5lb weights. Do not attempt this if you're flying, as these days you need all the baggage allowance you can get. Not to mention they might consider it a weapon...
Ask your friends to talk you through the food plans for the time you'll be there - whether they're cooking or you'll be eating out, it's way better to be able to plan ahead and track/eat accordingly.
If your friends aren't typically low-fat eaters, ask if it's okay to bring some snacking veggies, low-fat salad dressing, etc with you.
Take a favourite workout DVD with you. Steal an hour in their TV room or alone with your laptop (get your mind out of the gutter) to get in your workout.

I know it's a stumbling block sometimes, but I find it makes things easier if you're open about your process and goals. If your friends understand what you're going through and working towards, they will (I hope) be happy to help you however they can. I know it can be a challenge to find the balance between being a courteous houseguest and asking for a few selfish concessions to help you stay on track, but you can do it. Our friends made the MOST delicious sausage pie while we were staying with them. She took me through the recipe and the whole pie was over 100 Weight Watchers points. Yowza! I has 1/12 of the pie and a LOT of salad (with my dressing), it was awesome, and I didn't feel I'd missed out.

Staying at a condo or timeshare:

Make your own meals as much as possible. You'll be in control and you'll save money!
Does the property have a gym or a pool?
Is there a DVD player? I take my copy of the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout along just in case. It's only 40 mins including warm up and cool down, so it doesn't eat into your vacation time too much.
Check out the list above, as a lot of those ideas will apply no matter where you're staying.

Staying at a hotel:

Almost all hotels now have a gym of some sort. A good portion of my current workout can be done without machines, so I can make a routine out of even the most basic equipment. Even if the workout is short and not as intense as I would do at home, I still feel better for have done SOMETHING.
If your hotel doesn't have a gym, ask at the front desk if they have any arrangements with nearby hotels or fitness centres to allow guests to use the facilities there.
If your room has a mini fridge that isn't stocked with over-priced snacks that you get charged for the minute they're moved, consider getting some on-plan breakfast food to eat in your room. Breakfast is one of the most challenging meals at restaurants, as the toast will invariably arrive slathered with butter and God forbid you send that delicious piece of heaven back!

No matter where you're staying, you can also look for active tourist activities. Mr. Awesome and I are planning a kid-free escape (Hell YEAH!) to Napa and San Francisco in a couple of months. One of the activities we already know we want to do is to rent bikes and ride across the Golden Gate Bridge into Sausalito.

Are you kidding me?! Six months ago you could barely have paid me enough to even consider this type of activity, but life looks a lot different on this side of that 50lbs. This is why I make an effort to keep on track, even if we're on vacation. I have made a lifestyle change. I'm not on a temporary program that I will finally be "done" with when I reach my goal. This is for life.

Not to mention, all that bike riding will make up for all the wine I intend to drink in Napa. After all, I'm on vacation, right? :)

The Debfit Method - A Book Review

2010-06-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was recently given the opportunity to review a new fitness and weight loss book, The Debfit Method© Weight Loss Secrets by Deb Leblanc. Given my new found love of fitness and my weight loss success, I was curious to see what it was all about.

Leblanc is a Canadian author, and 20 year expert in the fitness and weight loss fields. There is a history of obesity in her family and she herself has struggled with weight issues over the years. Knowing that she's been through the journey and can identify with the challenges her readers may be facing makes the book really accessible. That and her frank, easy writing style make it feel more like you're getting advice from a friend that knows her stuff, as opposed to some distant doctor or muscle head that doesn't understand what you're going through.

A big component of The Debfit Method© is the 3-Day Cleanse, but given the fact that I'm still breastfeeding I wasn't able to try it. The cool thing about this particular cleanse is that it doesn't have you popping 40 capsules of supplements a day. In fact, it is basically supplement free. The one thing she does recommend is acidopholus, and has included acidopholus capsules in the cleanse "menu."

Leblanc does stipulate that the 3-Day Cleanse will work best if you can lock yourself away for the whole time, running all your errands, doing all your cleaning, etc before you start. Perhaps one day Mr. Awesome will take the kids away for a weekend and I will actually be able to try it. For now, and until the little man stops interrupting my bathroom visits, I'll have to wait to give it a try. I did read through the recipes and the plan, and not only does it look easy enough foodwise, but she also includes lots of time for naps! THAT is definitely enticing, so I may need to look at shipping off the family sooner than later...

A large portion of the book is 26 Trainer Tips, with everything from a "dry brushing" cellulite fix to strategies for managing cravings. They are all common sense concepts, some you will have heard before and some that might be new information, but put together it's a great list of tips aimed at making your fitness journey better and your body and mind healthier.

One of the things I like best about this book is her direct approach. She doesn't beat around the bush and basically tells her readers that it is going to be hard work. There is no magic pill, no quick fix to losing weight and getting fit. If you only answer "I think so" to the question of whether or not you're dedicated to losing weight, Leblanc goes so far as to suggest putting the book away for a while until you're ready to fully commit. I like this style, because as you know from my post about excuses, I'm tired of people complaining and making excuses for why they can't get fit. If you're going to do it, DO IT! There is no time like the present!

To learn more about Deb Leblanc, you can visit her website at www.debfit.com. You can order a copy of The Debfit Method© Weight Loss Secrets on Amazon.

A Slowly Forming Philosophy and an Award!

2010-06-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

When I first started blogging, I joined a number of blogging community websites to learn as much as I could, make connections, etc. On one of the many profile questionnaires I filled out, I was asked "What is your blogging philosophy?"

Insert blank stare, punctuated by blinking. My blogging philosophy? I had no idea how to answer that. I had never blogged before, and I was only just starting to read the work of other bloggers. The world of blogging was still brand new to me and it was like I was learning a whole new language...which in fact I guess I was. How was I supposed to have a philosophy about something I knew nothing about?! I hardly have a philosophy about things I KNOW about!

I recently received a new award, the Blog With Substance award, from Dania at Life as a Cuban-American Mama. One of the "requirements" is for the award recipient to state their blogging philosophy, motivation and experience in five words (that's five separate words, not a clever five-word sentence in case you were wondering). There it was again...the elusive blogging philosophy.

In a relatively short time I have written a bunch of blog posts, joined a number of blogging groups, won a few blogging awards and been to several mom blogger events. Am I now qualified to have a blogging philosophy?

Let's start with the five words. Here are five words that represent what motivates me to write and the elements I try to maintain in my writing: HONESTY, HUMOUR, SHARING, RELATABILITY (is that even a word?) and WELL-WRITTEN (technically two words, I know, but the hyphen makes everything better).

I try to inject some humour into all my writing, keeping even the most raw posts digestible. The humour is usually at my own expense, but what's self deprication if not funny? The one thing I always try to be is honest. A friend of mine told me it actually feels a bit weird for her to read my blog as it's like looking into my soul in a way she never has before. I guess that means I'm being pretty honest. The next two words are in that same vein. The biggest thing I've found with my blogging and time on Twitter is that there are hundreds of people out there going through pretty much what I'm going through at one time or another. Even though it's awful to be glad someone else is having problems, it makes it SO much better to know you're not the only one dealing with a screaming toddler that drops poop grenades every half hour. By sharing the truth of what I'm going through in the highs and lows of my life, I hope people can relate and take comfort that someone else is feeling the same things they are. Or feel better about their own lives because this crazy woman with a blog can't get five minutes on her own for a bathroom break! (Does it scare you that "bathroom break" has a link?)

The last item, a well-written blog, is something I strive for but as someone recently pointed out, you never fully know for sure if you've achieved. I do my best to use proper (or at least entertaining) grammar and always double-check spelling before hitting "publish." My punctuation may be flawed at times, but I don't think it's awful and you will NEVER see a your/you're or lose/loose mix-up unless my blog is taken over by bad writers from outer space. That will be the sign...keep you're eyes open.

So there you go. I guess I have a blogging philosophy after all. It's almost more like a pledge to you, my readers. I promise to share my thoughts and experiences honestly and with a touch of humour. I hope you can relate! As for well-written...well, I'll do my best.

Now, onto my official responsibilities as a recipient of the Blog With Substance award.

1) To accept this award, start out by thanking the blogger that passed it onto you Thank you Dania! Check her out at Life as a Cuban-American Mama.

2) Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation and experience using five (5) words. Done and done.

The final step to accepting this award is recommending 10 other blogs you believe are "Blogs with Substance".

Below are some of the ladies I've met in the local blogging community here in Vancouver. Their blogs are awesome, open and relatable. Please check them out.

Crunchy Carpets
www.strocel.com
See Theo Run
Wave the Stick
A Lot of Loves
Emerging Mummy
The Tsunami Mommy
Earnest Girl (writing for www.yummymummyclub.ca)
Fashion Forward 40
Mama in the City

What's The Point?

2010-06-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

When you're breastfeeding while on Weight Watchers you get extra points - 10 if you're breastfeeding exclusively, and 5 if you are supplementing with formula or feeding your baby solids. When I first started I was allowed FORTY POINTS. I could hardly even eat as many points as I had at my disposal! I never touched my weekly flex points or counted activity points, I just didn't need to. I wasn't sure if breastfeeding would work this time around, but now I had yet another reason to be grateful it did. As my weight went down I had to adjust my points, but it was slow and easy to get used to because I had started with so many.

Every week the weight dropped off. Every single week the ladies would exclaim at my success as I plowed through the gold stars and coveted keychain charms. As of last week I was 1.4lbs away from having lost 50lbs. Given my weekly losses I figured it would be a walk in the park to hit that target this week. Everything should have been fine. Never get cocky.

For the first time since I started Weight Watchers, I gained this week. A measly, minimal 0.2lbs, but it was in the wrong direction. And I knew it was coming. I worked out and stayed within my points, but given my addiction to the scale, I was well aware that things were not looking good.

The little miss finally started solids a few weeks ago, and just this week she really started getting it. She's trying everything and getting hungrier at every meal. I knew that I would have to reduce my allowance by five points soon, but I was waiting until she was eating solids regularly before making the shift. And then waiting some more.

It wasn't going to be easy. Given the enormous points allowance I started with, I was used to snacking to use up points. I have a wide variety of 2-point snacks in my cabinets and Skinny Cow treats in my freezer. I have a mid-morning snack, an afternoon snack, and (at least) one after dinner treat. It's kind of ridiculous how much I could eat each day.

The time has come. She's feeding less and I've been eating the same amount, and the scale is showing the result. One of us is going to have to change something. Short of shoving my breast into her face and forcefeeding her, it looks like I'm the one that's going to have to give.

Dammit.

After the weigh-in this morning, I made the painful decision to make today the day. I went from 35 glorious, ice cream filled points down to 30. It probably wasn't the smartest day to do it, given that we had sushi for lunch with a friend in from out of town, and Friday night is always pizza night (1/4 of a Dr. Oetker "Vegetale" pizza is only 4 pts!). I allowed myself one 1-point snack this afternoon and a Skinny Cow for dessert.

It is now just after 11:00pm and I AM HUNGRY. And I am out of points for the day.

It's like I'm starting Weight Watchers all over again and need to relearn how to manage each day's food. Just when I thought I had it figured out.

I am NOT looking forward to when the little miss is weaned and I have to give up ANOTHER five points. What the hell am I supposed to eat then?!

I may have to keep breastfeeding until she moves out. Anything to keep my Skinny Cow.

A Distorted Reality

2010-06-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

I am so confused. I have no idea what I look like.

The weight loss process, although quick in the grand scheme of things, has actually been fairly gradual. I've been "in" this body the whole time, and although I feel stronger and healthier, I don't feel that different. Because I basically banned any photographs over the last three years, I don't have a picture (in my head or otherwise) of what I looked like before, so I sometimes forget just how far I've come.

I try on clothes that I wore before I started this process and it's obvious that I'm smaller. Hell, I try on clothes I wore a month ago and they're too big. I know that I look different. Judging by the reactions of people that haven't seen me in a while, I look a lot different. The compliments are awesome, but sometimes it's almost as if I don't believe them. It's like the fat kid inside me argues and tells me not to listen to them.

I think it's going to take some time before I'm comfortable in my new, smaller skin. I spent almost 20 years at the "obese" end of the spectrum and there are a lot of feelings that come with that. I still default to the feelings I've lived with for years, even though I'm wearing a size I haven't worn for years.

When someone has changed so drastically on the outside, shouldn't something on the inside change too? Not to say I'm not still me, but when does the fat kid shut up so I can enjoy being the hot mama?

Working Moms Rejoice!

2010-06-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

It shocked and saddened me when I found out a few years ago how the US recognizes maternity leave. As I understand it, women are given up to six weeks DISABILITY leave when they give birth. Um, excuse me?! Disability? Women become disabled when they become mothers? That terminology is absolutely disgraceful. Maybe the psychosis that sets in when their little darling enters the terrible twos can be called a disability, but not when they experience the miracle that is creating another human being.

And hello?? SIX WEEKS? At six weeks postpartum with the little man I was still in breastfeeding hell and could only JUST sit down somewhat comfortably. That paints a pretty picture - a weepy, leaky woman sitting on an inflatable donut operating a loud, pulsating breast pump in the "privacy" of her office, cubicle, or the public washroom down the hall. Not exactly the prime candidate for success in the workplace. I know that women are "allowed" to take up to three months unpaid, but then they have to leave their new bundles of joy or choose not to return to their jobs. If you're not independently wealthy and actually do need to work, it's then the mad rush to find childcare, and suitable work clothes to fit over the weird and wonderful shape that is the post-baby body.

In Canada we definitely have it better, but it still doesn't exactly encourage women to a) strive for career success or b) populate the planet. We are allowed to take up to one year's leave. That is 17 weeks maternity and 35 weeks "parental" leave, which either parent can take. We receive 55% of our income from the Employment Insurance program, which is pretty good in comparison, I'll admit.

Some companies provide "top up" of varying degrees to subsidize the income of the parent on leave, but these companies are the exception and not the rule. I work for a charity, so understandably they are unable to top up maternity leave. It's tight, but we're making it work for the opportunity to have me home for the year.

I return to work in four months. Mr. Awesome is self-employed so we need me to work full-time to provide a regular, guaranteed level of income and health benefits for the family. As I've mentioned before, I really love my job. I work for an organization dedicated to women's health, and it stands to reason that they would be understanding to the female employee's needs. If I have to leave the kidlets, I'm lucky to be going to work somewhere where I like the people and I believe in what we're doing. As an employer they provide an environment that is very supportive and flexible to all employees, not just the women. They provide opportunities to work from home, work flexible schedules, take family time if necessary...basically work/life balance is a big priority.

The good news is, my employer is no longer as rare a commodity as I once thought they were. I thanked my lucky stars (and still do) to have found an organization that still allows me to be a mom without overlooking me for growth opportunities. But it turns out more and more companies are seeing the light.

Being a loving, attentive mom and being a driven career woman no longer need to be mutually exclusive. Companies are figuring out that if they want the right person in the role and that person happens to be a mother, they might have to make some accommodations to keep her.

A friend of mine just sent me the link to the 2010 Progressive Employers of Canada List.

From their website:

We would like to congratulate all the companies who have been recognized on the 2010 Progressive Employers of Canada List. They are among a select group of “mom-friendly” employers who are leading progressive change in the Canadian workplace for working parents and their families. To view the complete 2010 Progressive Employers of Canada list click here.
Connect Moms, momcafé and Lisa Martin International (founder of the Briefcase Moms Program) initiated the annual Progressive Employers of Canada List, after conducting a nationwide survey in November 2008 to determine what women, and moms in particular, who are traditionally underrepresented in the workforce, were looking for in a workplace of choice. The survey found that organizations need to offer a range of the following services or benefits to be considered supportive environments for working parents including:
* access to emergency childcare

* lactation rooms

* flex-time

* on-site daycare

* part-time or contract positions

* maternity and parental leave top-up

* health benefits

Well HALLELUJAH! This is a list of workplaces that GET IT. There are a few names on the list that I would expect given the nature of the work they do or type of organization, but there were also a few surprises. Big corporate names like Coast Capital Savings, DELL Canada and Kraft Canada jumped off the screen. Where I would have thought that these might have been male-dominated industries, these companies are providing opportunities for women to thrive.

Pretty darn cool if you ask me.

Are you a mom working away from your home? Does your company understand (and make allowances for) the demands you face as a parent?

10 & 2 My Ass, or How I Ran Out of Gas On The I-5

2010-05-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

Let's just start by saying that I am fully aware that I'm an idiot. Now that's out of the way, I will tell you the story.

For the Victoria Day long weekend, like any good Canadian celebrating a national holiday, we headed south to the US for some outlet shopping. We booked us and three other families into our timeshare in Birch Bay, WA. Eight adults, six kids under four and good times to come.

The ladies made a plan to drive to the Premium Outlets at Tulalip, just over an hour south of Birch Bay. The men folk stayed home with all the kids, with the exception of the little miss who joined us for some girly fun. We decided to take the "Magic Van," the Awesome family vehicle. (It's really a Honda Odyssey, but the little man believes the doors open by magic so it's now known as the Magic Van.)

The I-5 between Bellingham and Tulalip on a Monday morning is somewhat intimidating when you're not used to driving alongside huge semi trucks that seemingly pass each other for sport instead of necessity. I held my own, but I also held very tight to the steering wheel, at "10 and 2" as we were taught in driving lessons way back when. I didn't dare take my eyes off the road for more than the split second needed to check mirrors when I occasionally got brave enough to change lanes.

Mr. Awesome typically drives when we go out as a family, and he's always on top of the gas situation (insert all the gas jokes you want here, he won't mind). Well, I didn't realize it, but I've basically fallen out of the habit of checking the gas gauge when getting in the vehicle.

This in no way exonerates me, but I just want to point something out. As I mentioned, while driving my hands were basically glued to the steering wheel at 10 and 2, as if on a clock face. Well, thanks to the geniuses at Honda, when your hands are in this driving instructor-recommended position YOU CANNOT SEE THE GAS GAUGE. At least, not all of it. Especially that little yellow light that indicates that maybe you should think about refueling at some point.

We were about 55 minutes south when I felt an awful sensation under my right foot...nothing. Or at least the promise of nothing. "Um guys, we're out of gas" was all I could say as I checked all my mirrors and proceeded to get us safely across two lanes of traffic and one on-ramp to the shoulder. (Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a reasonably good driver.) Apparently the ladies just thought I was saying that we would need to stop for gas at the next exit, because SURELY I would have noticed earlier that we were getting low. As we glided to a stop on the side of the interstate I assured them that no, we were well and truly OUT OF GAS.

There was an awesome moment of silence, followed by a smattering of nervous laughter and then some mild hysterics...mostly from me. Huge trucks thundered past, shaking the van as we discussed our options. Do we walk the unknown distance to a gas station? Who does the walking, given we have the little miss fast asleep in the back seat? Do we call 911, or GOD FORBID, call the men to let them know what's happened? Given the onslaught of sarcastic comments I was sure to receive from Mr. Awesome the second he found out, calling the men was not an option.

We looked ahead and behind us and could see no signs indicating a magical gas station within 100 feet. We looked to our right, as to our left were only hundreds of screaming trucks. There was a rather steep, rather overgrown embankment that ended in a rusty barbed wire fence, then a side road and some house-type buildings. And a sign. Wait a second, did that say POLICE? Next to one of the houses there was indeed a sign that said "Police" with an arrow pointing up the driveway. In the best of times I might have questioned the fact that this didn't appear completely official, but this was not the best of times.

The four of us aren't really the types to sit around waiting for something to happen, so Michelle stayed with me and the other two jumped out. Okay, I guess that means Michelle and I did actually just sit around waiting for something to happen, but SOMEONE had to stay with the van and the baby, right? Before we knew it, they were down the hill and crawling under the barbed wire. I have such good friends.

We watched as they made their way up to the quasi-police station, spoke to two gentlemen who we assume were police officers, and pointed to the van. They looked up the hill, obviously to get a glimpse of the moron that ran out of gas on a simple 60 mile trip. The next thing we know, one of the two cops has a gas can and is climbing over the barbed-wire fence and up the hill. Four minutes later we have a gallon of gas and we're on our way to the gas station a half mile up the highway. I offered to pay for the gallon he'd given us, but our knight in cream-coloured cable knit (again, not looking all that official) refused.

What are the chances that EXACTLY where I run out of gas there is a police station in sight that actually has gas at the ready? We considered stopping at the Tulalip casino to take advantage of our incredible luck, but there was shopping to be done and we were already 40 minutes behind schedule.

And yes, we did tell the men what had happened. We pretty much had to after Michelle texted her husband with pictures of the cop climbing the hill with the gas can in hand. I guess there isn't really a "Hos Before Bros" rule when one of the "hos" nearly strands her friends on the side of the highway.

And yes, Mr. Awesome is still making fun of me. And yes, I am letting him.

Baby Jogger City Elite Stroller - An Unsolicited Review

2010-05-27T12:49:00.001-07:00

I really, really like our stroller. I wasn't asked by anyone to do a review, but when I really like something I tell anyone and everyone I can.

Our stroller is the Baby Jogger City Elite. When I was expecting the little man, we went a little Craigslist crazy and bought as much stuff as we could on there. We really liked the Peg Perego strollers, and found a decent (we thought) one on Craigslist for a fairly good deal that came with the matching car seat and base.

What we didn't think about was any future babes that might come along. For such a planner this was very unlike me, but I was a little obsessed and have been known to make the ~~constant~~ occasional impulse purchase. When we were pregnant with the little miss, we realized that the stroller we had was not going to cut it with two kids. The little man was showing no signs of being done with the stroller so we needed to find a solution.

We started to investigate double strollers. Man, those things are WIDE. And now please allow me to go off on a brief rant... Why is it that stores that are designed specifically to cater to parents of young children (i.e. toy stores, kids clothing stores, etc) have the NARROWEST aisles on the planet? It is guaranteed that 95% of the people shopping in these stores will be wielding some sort of stroller, and at the best of times the space between racks is barely enough for one person to walk through. I cannot even imagine trying to get through one of those stores with a double-wide, and I'm not really okay with leaving my kiddies unprotected at the front of a store while I peruse the merchandise. While they try to increase sales by stuffing as much product into their stores as possible, they are in fact losing my business because I CAN'T GET AROUND THEIR STORE! Rant complete.

Obviously I was not leaning towards a double-wide. Some inline double strollers are so long it's like wheeling three stacked shopping carts around. The one that did initially catch my eye was the Phil & Teds Sport. You see them EVERYWHERE in Vancouver, and they offer a jumpseat option that doesn't add too much size to the profile of the original stroller. It also had beefy inflatable wheels which is something we were looking for (because apparently I think I'm going to go for long sporty walks over bumpy terrain).

For us, the drawbacks with the Phil & Teds were a) once the jumpseat is in place, the child in the back effectively takes up all the basket storage as foot space, or steps on anything you might be carrying in there and b) at 6'5", Mr. Awesome kept banging his knees on the jumpseat. This was the deal breaker. Bye bye Phil. Check ya later Ted.

Here is what we were looking for in our dream stroller:

some sort of jumpseat
an adjustable handle so Mr. Awesome could push it without being hunched over
easy set-up and collapse
inflatable tires
a seat that can recline to almost flat
Something that didn't cost $700+

Really, our list wasn't unreasonable, but we were having trouble finding what we wanted. My friend Michelle was expecting and told me about the Baby Jogger. It was only just starting to sell in Canada, but the woman had done her research and discovered this somewhat hidden gem. It sounded good and they had just picked theirs up so we went over to check it out. SOLD! It had everything on our list and it even had things we didn't KNOW we wanted!

Here are my favourite things about our stroller:

The jumpseat (pictured on the right, on a different stroller). It sits in front of the main seat and holds up to 33lbs. Once your baby is 6 months old, they then move up to the jump seat and the older child moves to the main seat. It clicks in to the "universal mounting bracket" that can also accommodate a car seat adapter bar, a snack tray, etc etc etc.
The quick-fold action. You literally grab the fabric handle in the seat and the whole thing collapses and folds in half to a surprising small size.
The inflatable tires. They are 12", beefy and release very easily. While we were in Hawaii we couldn't get through a smaller-than-average door on a train and Mr. Awesome just whipped off one of the wheels, drove through and popped it back on again. (He kind of looked like a superhero in that moment, but maybe that's just to me.)
The giant canopy. This wasn't something I realized I needed, but it is fantastic. It's huge and requires no creative draping of receiving blankets to ensure your little darling is protected from the elements.
The adjustable handle. There are so many positions on the handle that I swear this stroller can be pushed by anyone 4ft - 7ft tall. Andre the Giant could have pushed this thing comfortably.
The details. There are peekaboo flaps and storage pockets that I am still discovering. They're everywhere!

The things I don't love (yes, there are a couple) are:

The main storage compartment. The basket itself is a decent size, but it's kind of difficult to access. Not difficult enough to be a deal breaker, just kind of a pain sometimes.
The drink holder that you can buy to clip on. There is one reason I haven't bought it. It's grey and blue. My stroller is black. All the City Elite strollers have black handles and no component of them is grey. So WHY did they design an add-on that doesn't "go?" Just a pet peeve.
While writing this review, I checked on the Baby Jogger website for the jumpseat and couldn't find it. Maybe I wasn't looking in the right place, but did eventually find it on Amazon. I'm hoping it hasn't been discontinued - that would definitely fall under "don't love."
That's it. Everything else is awesome.

As for price, it really depends on where you look. It's way cheaper in the US, but that's a fact of life for us Canadians most of the time. I just checked on Amazon and it ranges from $329 to around $400 ($450-500 in Canada). Where it gets a bit pricier is with the add-ons, but it's still way cheaper than some other options out there when you add it all together. The jump seat will run you around $80-90, the car seat adapter around $60-70, not to mention all the other goodies you could possibly want. We lucked out and found ours on www.leftoversstore.com for just over $300US and had it shipped to a friend's PO Box. My forward thinking, good friend Michelle, while pregnant with Baby #1, purchased the jumpseat with their second child in mind. They were kind enough (thank you, thank you, thank you) to loan us the jumpseat until they need it, but it is absolutely worth the price if you don't have a Michelle like I do.

There you go, that's my review. It's a great stroller and I recommend it whole-heartedly.

My Lawn Obsession Continues

2010-05-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

This post will make a whole lot more sense if you've read the earlier post, This Lawn Will Be My Bitch.

I vowed a few months ago to make our lawn my bitch. It had been decimated by construction but I had dreams of a lush, green carpet fronting our property and BY GOD I was going to make it happen. This pathetic, patchy mess would bow down before my gardening prowess, my giant green thumb if you will, and grow into something my dad would have been proud of. It had a way to go, as you can see here:

Okay, so it had a hell of a long way to go, but I was not to be deterred. Yes, it was embarrassing when neighbours walked by and there I was "mowing" the few patches that were actually showing through. I could sense, well actually I could plainly see, their pitying looks as they watched an obviously delusional woman seeding, fertilizing, and seeding again in the hopes of coaxing SOMETHING out of the ground. It's like I have a third child, and I am an overbearing stage mom. I'm a little obsessed.

There was one day in particular where I went a little over the edge. I knew a few days of rain were coming. The growth that was there needed mowing and I also wanted to aerate and reseed the patchy parts before the rain arrived. I completed the mowing and moved on to the aerating. Now, I am not a gardener by any stretch of the imagination. Put that together with the fact that I can only convince Mr. Awesome to spend so much on gardening equipment at a time, and sometimes I have to get creative. We don't have an aerator, but I was sure this was what was needed to save my sad little lawn. Necessity is the mother of ~~insanity~~ invention, so I took an old metal rake and started plunging its teeth into the hard earth in an attempt to break it up a bit. Over and over I whacked the ground, confident that this would do whatever the hell aerating is supposed to do. I really must have looked like a crazy person, but that was nothing compared to what came next.

It started to rain a little. The patchiest parts of the lawn are along the front curb (thanks to the district municipality road crew) and under the large cedar tree on the side. Most of the work was to be done under the tree, so I was fairly protected from the rain. I managed to get the whacking done to my satisfaction and then started on the grass seed. It started to rain harder, and I was quickly running out of space under my cedar umbrella. I ventured out from under my shelter and proceeded to seed along the front curb.

That's when it started to hail. It was me against Mother Nature but I was not going to stop. Once you're soaked through, what does it really matter? I had a LAWN to seed, people! Students from the nearby highschool were sprinting by on their way home, trying to outrun the raindrops, but that didn't mean they didn't have time to slow down and stare at the crazy lady seeding her lawn in a hailstorm.

All this hard work and insanity has paid off. The lawn is looking great. I AM A GARDENING GODDESS.

When I first started working on this, I vowed I would make my lawn my bitch. Oh, she's a bitch alright. Yes, my lawn is flourishing and looks awesome. Yes, our neighbours are constantly commenting on how great it looks. But my bitchy, gorgeous lawn grows FAST. I go away for two days and she's grown three inches. She requires almost constant maintenance, with mowing at least twice a week. She's taken all my hard work and actually DONE WHAT I WANTED HER TO DO.

How dare she. Doesn't she know that as the mother of a three year old I'm not used to ANYONE doing what I want? How am I supposed to handle this type of obedience?!

Planning For The Future

2010-05-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

My parents would have LOVED if my early desire to be a lawyer had actually panned out, but they never pushed me into what they wanted. They just wanted me happy and lovingly supported me in the choices I made, as long as they were fairly well thought out and somewhat realistic. (No, I am not an Oscar-winning actress, so maybe "realistic" is overtstating their priorities a bit.)

Following in our parents' footsteps, when the time comes for our kids to make some choices, we won't push them into one "life path" over another. As long as they're happy and safe, right? If they're happy and safe and making enough to keep us cared for and tipsy on red wine for the rest of our lives, so much the better.

That being said, we do enjoy spectulating whenever the little man develops a new interest. Given his latest passions, it's been looking like he will either be an excavator operator or a farmer, and married to "Natalie," a girl in his preschool.

Today, however, opened up two new possibilities as to a chosen career. I was playing with the little miss in front of the couch and the little man disappeared from view, as usual. I heard coins dropping, so I peeked around the couch and saw him reaching down the front of his pants. I inquired what he was doing and he said "Putting money in my pocket." (He must have inherited this money-saving tendency from Mr. Awesome.) I applauded his actions, but when I looked closer something was amiss. The money wasn't going into his pocket per se, it was going straight down the front into the Y-front "pocket" on his underpants. He had accumulated $2.20 (yay for Canadian coins) in there.

So I figure, we're now either looking at a future banker or a future exotic dancer. Either way, he'll have a good income. Bring on the wine!

Follow Me Friday Blog Hop!

2010-05-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

It's a Follow Me Friday Blog Hop, hosted by Trendy Treehouse!
Enter your link below & follow the blogs you love.

It's that simple. Have fun!

If you would like to share this blog hop, just go to the link below and grab the code.

A Good Old Fashioned Game of Put and Get

2010-05-20T16:29:00.001-07:00

We love to entertain, but since the arrival of our kidlets the entertaining has been somewhat limited. We now pretty much just host family-friendly events, and this past Christmas we invited everyone over for a Kids' Christmas Party.

The little man is usually very outgoing with adults, but put another kid (other than the little miss) within 50 feet of him and I develop a 2.5 foot tall shadow for at least the first half hour. He's happier sitting on my lap watching the other kids play with his toys than to venture into the fray.

I feel bad for my friend's son, as he and the little man are the two oldest kids in our crowd and all the others are babies. He desperately wants to play with our little fraidy-cat, and at the tender age of three doesn't really understand why his "friend" won't play. I can sense his frustration, but he has found a way to work with what he's got. Once the little man has warmed up a bit and ventured off my lap, my friend's son will gently take him by the hand and amazingly, they'll go off to the little man's room to play cars, trains, or, as they did at the Christmas party, a game of hide and seek.

The hitch is, the little man had never played, nor fully understood the rules of hide and seek. What ensued was the little man being placed in a hiding spot, his friend leaving to go and count, and then returning to "find" him. It was their own special version of the game and they were having a great time.

And there you have the now famous game of Put and Get. Not sure it will really catch on in wider circles, but it works wonders in our house.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2010-05-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you're fully aware that we are living with one of the most horrific of creatures known to man...the whiny three-year old. The whining has been day and night, literally from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning until he shuts them again at night. The only reprieve we've been given, oddly enough, is when we're not at home. The minute we step back over our threshold it starts again, sometimes even as we pull into the driveway.

I'm scared to even put this in writing, but it appears that we MAY be seeing a downswing in the whining. I actually wondered if the Little Man was suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, because the second the weather took a turn for the better it seemed to abate slightly. I assure you however, it is by no means gone. We are now down to whining only 65% of the waking hours we spend at home, as opposed to the 90% we've been living with for the past six months. I'll take any improvement I can get at this point.

This post is less about the phase we've been living with and more about the phase that seems to be starting. Let me say this very clearly: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. We've been hoping for so long that the whining phase would end that we never even considered what might come next. I bet you're sitting there with bated breath just waiting to hear what we're facing now. Well let me tell you, this phase is a whole new level of ~~excrutiating Hell~~ joy.

This phase is what we like to call Selective Hearing. I'm sure you're familiar with it, as most men suffer from this affliction from time to time...selectively, if you will. This condition only flares up when the Little Man is doing something he is not supposed to be doing, quite often when he is on the verge of breaking something, be it himself or a household item.

We calmly and clearly ask that he stop what he is doing. We calmly and clearly ask again. And again. We then suggest a time out might be in order. Then we ask again. It's about at this point that I lose all conscious memory and Angry Mummy starts to wake up. I think some yelling ensues, some crying (sometimes him, sometimes me), and a time out.

Where it gets really difficult is when we're out in public. What do you do to a) stop your child doing what he's doing, b) teach him that he has to listen to Mummy and Daddy, and c) not look like a raving lunatic that is completely governed by their three year old?

As this phase is so new, I really have NO idea how to effectively deal with it. We're seeing some success with claiming we simply cannot understand what he's saying when he whines, but any tactics on how to deal with being ignored and blatantly disobeyed elude me completely. Being ignored really doesn't work for me. Maybe it's my need for attention, but that's an issue for a whole other post.

I'll keep you posted on how this develops. Comments are appreciated... it would be nice to know SOMEONE is listening!

Saving the Ta Tas, One Step at a Time.

2010-05-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

Do you have boobs? Well, I am here to save them. You can thank me later.

Did you know that 1 in 9 women in Canada will be affected by breast cancer in her lifetime? The good news is, the earlier it's detected the easier it is to treat. With scientific advancements by the really smart people out there, we are getting closer to a world where the words "You have breast cancer" won't be so scary. We can get there in our lifetime, but it takes work. And money. Lots of money. Research is bloody expensive.

I have just registered for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure on Sunday, October 3, 2010. It's Canada's largest single day, volunteer-led fundraising event dedicated to raising funds for breast cancer research, and education and awareness programs. It's a mouthful, but it's important.

Disclosure time. When I'm not on maternity leave, I work for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. Yes, CBCF is technically my employer and it's a hell of a fulfilling reason to get up every morning, but that is not why I raise money for the Run. I have known people living with breast cancer, and through my work with the Foundation I now know a LOT more. These women (and men - yes, men can get breast cancer too) are amazing. They speak publicly about their experiences with breast cancer, encouraging people to get annual mammograms, to know their own bodies, and to speak with their doctors if they feel anything is out of sorts. They are strong and inspiring and I am running for them.

The reality of working so closely with this disease is that I also know women that have died, and I know a lot of families that have lost loved ones. Fewer and fewer people are dying of breast cancer, but people still do. This isn't good enough. I truly believe we can get to a "future without breast cancer." This doesn't necessarily mean a cure, but we CAN get to place where it's detected early enough and the treatment is so minimal that it won't limit the way you live your life.

If you're in Canada and want to register for the Run in your area (it happens in 56 cities across the country), go to www.cbcf.org. It's an awesome, one day event where you can walk or run 1 or 5K with thousands of people all in it for the same reason - a future without breast cancer. If you aren't able to participate, please consider making a donation. Every dollar makes a difference.

Thank you. Public service announcement concluded.

Do I Pee on YOUR Lawn?!

2010-05-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

Behind your bushes once when I was a tipsy teenager, maybe, but on your lawn? Never. So WHY is it okay for you to parade your dog onto my property to do his business right in front of me??

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, I really do. They are awesome and loyal and goofy. It's certain dog owners I'm not too fond of. Really one in particular. I understand the need to walk a dog, and to let him relieve himself every 20 feet along the route. And there are a LOT of places in our neighbourhood where this is perfectly fine. I do not, however, feel it is appropriate to discolour the lawn I am working so hard to maintain with your dog's urine. There is a perfectly good boulevard area 20 feet east of my lawn with a very lovely telephone pole just begging to be marked. And if you ARE going to create a blond patch in an otherwise lovely sea of green, at least have the decency not to do it when I'M STANDING RIGHT THERE. That's just plain rude, not to mention disrespectful.

This rant is a result of the altercation I had with a grumpy old man the other day. Not only did his dog pee on our lawn, he also peed right on top of an ornamental grass plant that had obviously been planted recently. Right while we stood and watched. When we took exception to it and asked him nicely to not let his dog do this, he claimed that the boulevard is district property and not ours to comment on. Excuse me? The "boulevard" is the four feet that runs along the front of every home in our municipality, and yes, technically it is district property. Does that mean we should just ignore it, not water it, mow it, or take care of it in any way? That sure would make for some lovely curb appeal now, wouldn't it?

Please walk your dogs. Please let them pee. But PLEASE when your furry friend does need to release, just try and take note of where he or she is about to go. Could this be a place that is being lovingly and painstakingly cared for by someone? Is that person working in their garden at that very moment? Is there a spot a few feet further down the road where your dog's urine won't be like a knife in the heart to your neighbour?

Maybe I should go around to the grumpy old man's house and let the little man pee on his "boulevard." After all, it's not HIS property, is it?