Shopping Just Got A Lot More Interesting

This kind of goes hand in hand with an earlier post entitled A Distorted Reality, but my reality still seems to be a bit shaky.

I was out for dinner with a few friends and we stopped in to one of their houses afterwards to have a quick visit with her baby boy. Just as we were getting ready to leave, she asked what size I was wearing now. I said size 10 but then quickly began to panic. Would they believe me? How could I possibly be a size 10?!

My panic increased when she explained that she had a size 10 pair of pants from H&M that were a bit big for her and she wondered if I wanted to try them on. Oh my God, they're going to find me out! There's no way her pants will fit me! And H&M? I haven't been able to buy anything there with the exception of jewelry and kids' clothes since they came to town! I waffled a bit and said that in SOME pants I'm still wearing a size 12, and that they may not fit. I was basically apologizing for being a size 10 and I have no idea why. Was I going to be embarrassed if they didn't fit? Why? I haven't been this size since high school and I've worked hard to get here, but I was convinced that I would try and squeeze on these itty-bitty size 10's and be faced with the reality that they didn't fit.

It's like every time I stand on the scale. I was in the 200's for so long that now I'm almost 40lbs into the 100's I don't believe the numbers. I have moments of fear that maybe my scale is broken, that maybe the little man has dropped it and it's out of whack by about twenty pounds. But he can't have snuck in a dropped all the scales at Weight Watchers too, can he?

I have lived for a long time with the understanding that there are only certain stores I can shop in, and that when I go shopping with friends I will likely not be able to find anything in the same stores as they do. Outlet malls where they had a Banana Republic AND a Lane Bryant were my saving grace, where we could all come home with a fun new purchase.

Since starting this weight loss journey, my shopping has pretty much been at Costco, or at Target when we venture south. I haven't really bought anything at a "real" store yet. I did buy some pants (yes, size 10) at Winners a while back, but that's Winners, and I figured their sizing must be skewed to explain the low prices. How could I possibly fit into a pair of pants from H&M? The odd XL shirt, sure, but PANTS?? My hips and shopping have never been friends, and I was about to slip my saddlebags into a pair of pants from H&M. Who the hell do I think I AM?

Long, drawn out and fairly predictable story short, the pants fit. And they look decent. And they're linen so after a couple of hours they're actually baggy. A size 10 pair of H&M pants is actually baggy on me.

Shopping just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

(Insert sound of Mr. Awesome quietly weeping in the corner as he opens the credit card bills.)

Grab Your Purple Yarn!

After two kids, I am lucky enough to never have experienced "purple crying" firsthand. We were handed a DVD on the subject when we left the hospital with the little miss and almost nine months later it still sits encased in plastic wrapping on my dresser.

For those of you that don't know, the "Period of PURPLE Crying" is the phase in your baby's life when they cry more than do anything else. It's often described as colic, and it's totally normal. But what I understand from my friends who have lived through it, it's hell on earth. Unfortunately, it can lead some parents to do things they will regret forever.

There is a campaign across North America to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome, and education about the Period of PURPLE Crying is a major component of this initiative. It aims to inform parents about this challenging period in their baby's life, and provide tactics to manage the frustration that goes along with it.

CALLING ALL KNITTERS!

As part of this education and awareness campaign, they are asking "crafty folks" and knitting groups to knit or crochet PURPLE newborn baby caps to given to babies born in BC during the week of November 15th to coincide with Canada’s National Child Day.

Crafters can create from five to 50 caps using any newborn baby cap pattern and any colour of soft, baby-friendly PURPLE yarn.

Please help spread the word by joining the facebook group or sharing the information with your network and encouraging them to knit a few caps over the summer months.

PURPLE caps should be mailed by Nov 5, 2010 to BC Children’s Hospital:

c/o Claire Yambao
Provincial Program Coordinator, Prevent SBS BC
BC Children's Hospital
4480 Oak Street, K1-209
Vancouver, BC V6H 3V4

By knitting and sending PURPLE newborn baby caps to be given to babies across the province, you will make a difference by:

• Raising awareness for this life-saving project - Period of PURPLE Crying - Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC.
• Participating in a growing, province-wide grassroots effort to educate new parents about the normalcy of early infant crying and how to cope with the frustration that can accompany it.

The Period of PURPLE Crying - Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC is a part of the most comprehensive shaken baby syndrome prevention initiative in North America. To learn more, visit http://www.PURPLEcrying.info and follow them on Twitter @PurpleCrying

From "One Day" to Today, or A Look Back at How I Got Here

When I was a little girl I went through several "when I grow ups," announcing a new aspiration every few months. I always knew I would be a mom, but I also knew I was going to have a career. This history lesson focuses on the professional side of my life. Perhaps one day I'll tell you the story of how I got together with Mr. Awesome and then grew the munchkins, but today is about my work life.

I was going to be a teacher, but that was fairly short lived. I was going to be a nurse until I found out they had to clean poop (Ha, look at me now!). I was going to be a flight attendant until one day I watched just how hard they work during a flight and the romance of free travel disappeared. For a long time I was going to be a lawyer, but then the reality of seven years in university hit and that dream fizzled too.

At around the age of sixteen I decided I was going to be an actress. I had always loved the theatre and movies, and this was no passing career fancy. I was serious. I sat my parents down and explained my plan. I had thought it through and presented them with reasons, strategies, budgets, the whole shebang (I don't know how to spell that, but now I have William Hung singing "She Bangs! She Bangs!" in my head. Awesome.) I registered for acting classes outside the standard high school drama program. I got a (not very good) agent, and went on a few auditions. After high school I continued with the acting classes, and then when I was nineteen I left home for theatre school just outside of Montreal. I was there for three years and it was phenomenal.

When I graduated and came home in 1998, my school friend Trace moved out to Vancouver and we started our own theatre company. Horned Moon Productions existed for five years and produced six shows, never losing a dime. For producing small theatre in Vancouver, this is a fairly big deal. I acted in two of Horned Moon's shows, co-directed one and produced all of them. It was always in my "spare time," and I loved it. To pay the rent, I was working in the box office at two professional theatre companies. I kept auditioning, but for theatre only this time, not film. Actually, at one point I was convinced I was going to join Cirque du Soleil as a character actor, and even went so far as to audition for them. Let's just say it didn't work out and leave it at that.

It took me a while to fully admit it, but I found I got almost as big a "high" from producing and marketing the shows as I did acting in them (probably the control freak in me). This was a difficult realization as I had committed so much time and a sizable chunk of my parents' money into the acting thing, but I finally succumbed to the allure of a regular paycheck and not being rejected on a regular basis.

I got the opportunity to join the marketing department at one of the theatre companies I was working for. It was a full time job instead of the part-time and seasonal work I'd been doing, and represented a mind shift for me. It was a "real" job, not just something to "support my acting." It was official. Acting was to be something I did on the side, when I had the time. If I had the time. The more involved I got on the marketing side of things, the more I loved it, and the less time I made for the acting.

When my dad died I took some time off and eventually decided to go back to school for "something in marketing." From my observation of my colleagues, PR seemed to be a good fit and I registered for an eight-course program in public relations at BCIT. I also started volunteering in promotions at a local radio station.

It's so funny how things work out. Looking back, my life has a very clear line to where I am today, at least professionally. Join me on this jaunt down my career path, won't you?

1. I began to get more work with the radio station. I didn't have a minute of broadcast experience, but all of a sudden I'm doing traffic reports and then spotting bumper stickers as "Christine the Prize Queen," thanks in large part to my acting and voice training.


2. One of my teachers at BCIT hired me as Communications Coordinator for her PR firm. We did the PR for Cirque du Soleil's first two tours to Vancouver and my dream of working for Cirque was finally realized.


3. After a couple of years I left that job for a promotions position with the radio station. It was actually a step back, but radio promotions has something seductive about it and jobs in Vancouver don't come along that often. I needed to find out if that was where I was supposed to be. It turns out my heart is there, but my pocketbook is not. There also isn't any room for advancement in the market and being the overachiever I am, I eventually needed to move on.
   


4. My experience with both the PR job and in radio promotions landed me a position as "Western Regional Marketing Manager" for a national restaurant chain. (This may in part have to contributed to my weight gain!) The experience was phenomenal and I grew leaps and bounds in my knowledge and confidence. I went on my first maternity leave and while I was gone things began to change. As with many Canadian companies with head offices in Toronto, things began to "move East," taking on a national spin. As the Western REGIONAL Marketing Manager, I saw the writing on the wall. I knew I would have to start looking for something else, but wasn't sure where to start given that I was on leave and learning to be a mom. (And, yes, I was right - the position did disappear within six months of me giving my notice.)
   


5. I had kept in touch with my BCIT teacher/former boss and when the little man was about two months old I went to her home for tea and to introduce them. She asked me about my job, how things were changing, etc and I suddenly got the sneaking suspicion she had something up her sleeve. (I should probably insert here that she was working as the Director of Communications for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, BC/Yukon Region. Sound familiar?) It turns out that her marketing manager had given notice the day before (what are the odds?!) and she suggested rather strongly that I apply. I had LOVED working for her and not only did CBCF sound amazing, but I would get the chance to work with her again.
   

So there you have it. In five "easy" steps we reach today. I am NOT an actress. I am the marketing manager for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, BC/Yukon Region. But somehow it all seems to make perfect sense.

I am right where I am supposed to be.



This post was written for the Bloggy Moms July 2010 Blog Challenge. You can read other submissions here.

A Big Fat Reality Check

I was thinking about the post I will write when I reach my Weight Watchers goal. I'm getting close. Really close. I may choose to go further, but that's another post entirely.

I started looking in our files for a "before" picture, as that seems appropriate. Given that I had basically banished any cameras from my presence for the last few years and any of the sneaky buggers that managed to snap a picture of me were immediately destroyed in a shower of hellfire, there were very, very few pictures of me in my "before" years.

Last night we had friends over for a dinner party (oooh, aren't we fancy) and one of our guests brought a flash drive with some photos from their wedding last August. There was one of me, that I obviously did not know was being taken or the photographer would have been shot (pardon the pun) on site. I was 7.5 months pregnant and it was a freakishly hot day so there was some swelling going on, but I can't really blame that. I can't really even blame the fact that I was pregnant, as I only gained 16lbs during my last pregnancy. Yes, the belly was pregnancy-related, and boobs too to some extent, but the arms, chins, and general width were all mine. I introduce you to my "before" picture:

I mentioned in an earlier post that I really didn't have a clear image of what I looked like before I started this weight loss journey and new lifestyle. Even Mr. Awesome couldn't really remember as he's spent almost every day with me during the gradual changes. When he showed me the picture he thought there must have been some stretching or the photographer must have been using a "funny lens." He didn't remember me looking like that and neither did I, but there I was, almost one year ago exactly, in all my glory.

I knew I looked different now because people I haven't seen in a while are always surprised to see me, but I didn't fully comprehend just how far I'd come.

This is me today. I'm the same person, but at the same time a very different person. It's weird to think back to how I felt then. I was happy with my life but not my body. I'm now stronger, I'm healthier, I got my waist back, I can jog and climb stairs without getting winded... I don't think anyone is ever 100% happy with their body, but now I'm a hell of a lot closer.

And when they invent a magic pill that gets my boobs back up to where they used to be, I'll be that much closer again. But that's fodder for another day's writing.

An Open Letter to Stacy London and Clinton Kelly

Dear Stacy and Clinton,

I need your help. I am going back to work from maternity leave in three months and I have NO work clothes. Literally, nothing. Well, potentially one suit might still work. You see, I've just lost a significant amount of weight, going from a size 18 to a 10. We are now past the point of being able to tailor my old clothes, as it will be more money to take them in than it will be to purchase new pieces. I need to go shopping, but an entire work wardrobe is a monumental task and my husband (Mr. Awesome) may or may not be up to the task.

I watch What Not to Wear religiously, repeats and all. Probably a little too much, to be honest, given that I can quote most of your rules by heart. Now, I think I follow the rules. But from what I can tell, most of the people on your show have NO idea they're doing things wrong. What if I am one of these desperate souls that is walking around in her life looking schlumpy or inappropriate? How would I even know? You always say that people compliment people on their appearance when they have nothing else to say. I think everyone does this at some point, so how can anyone ever be sure that they look okay, let alone fabulous?!

Like I said, I think I follow the rules. The few items I have purchased during my weight loss journey have been pretty casual given that I'm on maternity leave and "weekend mom" is my life right now. The jeans I have purchased have been a "uniform dark wash." The jersey cotton dresses I've been wearing this summer have "empire seaming" and "highlight the narrowest part of me." I think this is pretty impressive given that basically everything I wear these days has been purchased at Costco. Yes, Costco. I've been dropping weight pretty steadily since December and we can't afford to keep me clothed in a new size every month for more than $20 per item (max)! I'm also dredging up items from around 2002, the last time I was close to this size. So we're faced with dated items, baggy items, or Costco items. This is my life.

A little more about my life and less about my clothes...

• I am 34.
• I live in Vancouver, British Columbia (do you guys even accept Canadian submissions anymore?)
• I am married to "Mr. Awesome." (A name he gave himself for my blog. He usually deserves it.)
• I have two fantastic children - a three year old son and a nine month old daughter.
  
• I work for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. It is awesome and a fantastic reason to go to work every day.

Mr. Awesome and I have a trip to Napa and San Francisco planned before I return to work in October. Besides being some much needed "us" time to hang out and drink yummy wine, this trip is also partly to go shopping for a work wardrobe. This will take time and money. Mr. Awesome is patient, but he's not that patient. And let's just say he's...thrifty. (This is part explains my Costco wardrobe.) To keep things hunky-dory on our romantic little getaway, my shopping needs to be focused, efficient and budget-conscious. I also need to come home with enough items to create at least two weeks' worth of outfits... this may be a bit much to ask with all the wine tastings getting in the way.

I need your help. My pre-weight loss wardrobe was a bunch of individual pieces, usually paired with the same pair of black pants. I have never shopped in outfits. I can't afford to make mistakes here, as I'm only going to be able to do this once. I am submitting myself for your show, your guidance, your rules.

I agree to give myself over to you, mind, body and wardrobe. The wardrobe in question is pretty small as I've donated most of my larger clothes already, but I will hand over what I've got!

I will wait patiently in my Costco jeans for your call.

Sincerely,

Gillian